"Just for a second, can we talk about something nasty"
Dropping her gaze down, she put it forward with an unpleasant story before taking a bite of white water. Smiling "warm," she remained calm in her expression, so much so that she did not think the same person had vomited the words earlier, although not very much. "Go ahead," she urged, meditating her eyes.
"Okay, just a little bit. … I think it would be a distorted way of thinking, but I think anger is what energizes people."
"Yes."
"I'm actually terribly angry. I'm angry with the world, against people who don't want to see what I'm trying to describe, against people who just instruct me to dance funny and crazy and hang cold water."
"Yes."
"I resented myself"
Only one tear fell from her meditated eyes.
"I was stupid to go ahead and be a spectacle myself. I was an idiot back then. I liked dancing, all I had to do was dance. I was wrong about my strength. Even if I kept being looked at with strange eyes, I believed that in the future I would live strong and continue to dance, thinking that you just had to enjoy my dance."
"Yes."
"I was weak. Every time I get older, I get weak and tearful. Well put, I was stubborn and straight. I get weaker. It became painful and painful for people to see it with strange eyes."
Trembling voice.
"Every time I knew more and more what heartless words meant, every time I knew that something fun was in my life other than dancing, I became weaker and more tearful than when I was a kid, and it was harder for me to be good at dancing."
"Yes."
"Dance, it was my heart. I don't even want to see me ugly with scratches. So dancing, it's all about me. Forget reality, you can describe everything you think, and I'll be reflected there myself. Dancing makes me forget that I was attacked by demons when I was thirteen. Dance was an artistic expression for me, free from all the ugliness and able to express my heart directly"
"Yes."
"Yet my dance, from all my guests' point of view, was just a spectacle. Something funny, funny, funny. … I was badly, scratched"
She opens her eyes with a damp voice. In his eyes was a dark darkness, even though there were tears.
"I cannot forgive. I can't forgive the tide that a wounded woman should be a spectacle, or anything that mocked my dance (heart). Unforgivable, compromised, three years, miserable and spectacular."
……
"It was fun. Dancing with people's attention is, in a way, proud and fun. Despicable I enjoyed thinking of it as my own business. At the same time, how depressing was my heart? I've always had negative feelings in my mind that don't clear up. If I'm not humble. I must have gotten angry first. Every time I realized that, I became hard and painful."
……
"In the end, I kept dancing for three years, not because I was strong, but because I was weak. I kept dancing for my daily life, deluding myself that I could remain humble and proud to be amused. Or I've forced myself to live strong to protect the fantasy that I used to believe innocently, I'm sure I'll keep dancing no matter how hard it is"
"… continue"
"It was a coincidence, not my will, that I quit the Circus. I'm sure if it hadn't been for that coincidence, I'd still be dancing solidly."
It hurts terribly to mock yourself as a "stupid woman" with wet eyes.
…… I had swelling thoughts. I feel like avenging the world. "
"Is that... is that right"
I stopped trying to ask what that meant, and I just returned my consent. Marielle was also squirming her cheeks to draw on my intentions or make a smile, but crying without laughing.
"I'd like to fill it up. I want to impress all the prejudices that have mocked me, those who have made fun of me. It's a vengeance that you beat me with emotion, not as good intentions. As much as I'd like you to feel miserable."
……
"Did you know that I was dancing while singing in the circus?
"Yeah, you were talking in that cake shop," I said, listening to the flaming noise of the flames.
"Me, humble and circus, I've been trying to describe song and dance, haven't I? It's not just dancing, it's boring, and I've focused on expressing something really big."
"Really?"
"What I was doing was one opera. It's one opera where a woman who was supposed to continue to be funny and spectacular began to want to describe something that sprang up in her mind."
……
"It's a song and dance opera that I cursed and made for you to be touched and miserable in a world where an ugly woman with a scratch on her face can only be a spectacle"
……
"I want to be a singing princess. You become a singing princess and impress a lot of people. Before I got solid, before I got a scratch on my face, it was an opera I loved straight and innocent. You have to reward your dreams as beautiful as those shards.... With a feeling of curse for the wrong world, my most beautiful wish would be to be a singing princess."
"... Really?"
Silence for a while.
The two behind the signs perception, Lutz and Nell, take a breath and shut up.
"Mr. Marielle."
"... Yes"
"Why don't you dance"
"... what's wrong"
Huh, and suddenly Marielle laughed out. To my sudden disturbing offer, I think she must have laughed face-to-face. But wouldn't you like to dance in that sense, isn't it? I'm suggesting we dance very seriously.
"I'm sure, but if it's dancing that expresses your heart, you have to be a singing princess in dancing"
"... what is that?"
"Mr. Marielle's revenge, let me help you. Beat the world with emotion. You must be wrong about a world where a woman with a scratch on her face can't be a heroine."
……
"Would you like to compete in that world with the dance you liked?"
"Huh?"
"It's a bet. Show that Mr. Jacopo the possibility of a new opera by showing him the improvised, dancing opera. As far as I know, there are dancing operas. Dance and your passion, if you show it to Mr. Jacopo, he will promote you to a singing princess."
I looked so serious, I stuck it to her.
"I'm sure you practiced as normal as this, but it takes too long to be a soprano singer and a opera singing princess. rather than spend the rest of your life as a Maisosoprano singer."
……
"So while we practice becoming soprano singers, we want to compete in two appeals, showing improvised dancing and song plays. Worst of all, you can find talent over there as the perfect female enemy of Maisosoprano, together. But maybe with this suggestion, you can compete to be a singing princess."
……
Making bets in people's lives. How dare you go against my business policy, but there's a good thing I showed you the safety in case of a great female enemy role in the Maison Soprano.
What she wants is to be a singing princess, so this is not the kind of plan she should have. It's not enough to be a Maisosoprano singer in due course.
"... what do you think"
Has my word arrived? What does Marielle think right now as she breathes and circles her eyes?