A Wish to Grab Happiness

My vision is blurry. Arueno blinked his eyelashes so as to delude the heat accumulated on his eyelids.

This is, yes, just the vision you get when you open your eyes in the water. The world shivers and shakes its appearance out of cod in moisture. That sight of instability everywhere even feels as if the world is not the world.

Once, as a child, that was not surprising, and Arueno remembered many times peeking into the water. It felt like it was in the water, like a gateway to another world.

It's the same now. The sight shook and the sight seen through the carriage window felt as if it were another world.

Arueno's large, golden eyes give rise to fever, as do his eyelids. Dull pain was intermittent from the core of his head, trying to stain his entire brain and crawling out.

At the end of his gaze, he was there. Childhood tame, Rugis, who grew up with Arueno, lived with him and promised to reunite. He's within reach if he runs down the carriage right now.

Even so, Arueno's legs do not move as if they were iron bars, and his throat is cramped and he cannot even speak out.

Belfein, a mercenary city, following the revelation of Altius, the Catholic god.

There, when the great sinner Rugis first heard the story, which may be stepping in, Arueno's heart jumped up its body in two ways.

One is the joy just overflowing from the chest that we may see Rugis, a childhood tamer, again in this city. The other thing is, really, what would I do if that childhood tame were under the crest?

If there is Rugis as the enemy of the Catholic Church, how should he, the candidate for the Holy Virgin of the Catholic Church, take action? Should I be an enemy, or should I be a childhood tamer? And why should I ask you if you are under the crest religion?

I don't know. It's full of things I really don't understand.

Maybe all the anxiety that's been on my chest is worrying, and if I go to the Garrist Kingdom, it's possible that Rugis still has his face in the orphanage.

Arueno therefore decided to go and see who looked terribly like the great sinner, the figure. If the person was Rugis himself, to his knowledge, no matter what position he was in, Arueno intended to tell Lord Berfein, Mordeaux, that:

- Everything is a mistake, a mistake. He is not a great sinner.

I see. That must be an unmistakable act of treachery to the Catholic Church if Rugis was a great sinner. As a candidate for the Virgin, as a Catholic, there must not be.

But. In the unlikely event that my childhood tampering belongs to the crest religion, there is no doubt that it is under any circumstances.

At least, a man named Rugis, whom Arueno knows, was not of such a nature as to commit a major crime himself. Nor do I think of any such signs anywhere.

Besides, he said, as an adventurer, he was going to grow up and pick himself up.

Therefore, Arueno thought that if one called a great sinner and his childhood taming were the same person, it must no longer depend on some malice.

And if that's the case, I have to reach out and save Rugis. Whatever it used to be, now I'm not just a little girl either. As a candidate for the Holy Virgin of the Catholic Church, I can kiss him as much as I can. If we do well, maybe we can save as many lives as we can.

Yes, he said he was thinking in a carriage on the road. Arueno's thought was now abandoned to the sight in front of him, just receiving a feeling of his own eyes shaking and cheeks distorting.

In the boulevard of Belfein, neglected by men, there was childhood tampering.

Nostalgic. Just seeing that look makes me even feel unexpected relief in my heart. For the extra nostalgia, my chest seems so torn. When his eyes first caught him, he overflowed with a sigging exhale in his chest.

Rugis' face, which I haven't seen in a long time, is gaining some rigour. The joy of growing up without seeing each other often, and a little loneliness, should have been the only emotion in my chest.

If Rugis hadn't even embraced a woman who didn't know her name or appearance.

Her eyelids are hot. Arueno's lungs shrink as if his throat had been tightened up by someone, making his breath painful.

I wonder who that is. Why is Rugis holding her? So, why are you in Belfein?

I don't know, nothing, I don't know. Nothing, I don't want to know.

My foot is ticklish. From the heel, there was a tremor like crawling up.

In Arueno's head, the thought melts. Various emotions swayed, forcing the brain to process the facts in front of it while reason did not take shape.

One suspicion slowly sprouted out of the mud that accumulated in his chest in what seemed to be its forceful treatment. I don't like it. I don't want to think about it.

- Maybe it's true, really, that my childhood tampering is Rugis, the great sinner of the crest.

There is no certainty. I might just happen to be here in Berfein. I see there are many possibilities. If we probably just met in this city, Arueno must have accidentally cleaned everything up.

- That's it, that's it. The reason is, isn't that why you're in crest teaching that woman?

But the appearance of holding a strange woman switches speculation into suspicion. As if the devil were putting his finger in the mud of that thought and stirring it. The golden eyes, small, blinked.

I know. Nothing, Rugis and I are neither lovers nor engaged. I may have imitated it as a child, but if I told you, Rugis and I are not more than just childhood friends. So whatever relationship Rugis has with any woman, he's free.

Arueno's jaw hurts. For the first time in that way, I realize that I am eating up my teeth without knowing it.

In my mouth, I thought of it several times during my training in the cathedral, and the flavor of condensed confectionery was spreading. I got it from Rugis during the breakup, a slightly more expensive, mean-spirited, his-like separate item than the normal one.

It was a symbol of salvation for Arueno.

Daily life in the Cathedral is like a day when loneliness and pain strike unbearably and the nerves are shrouded with sharp blades. Would you have thought about breaking your knee and throwing it all out many times, how many memories with Rugis have been saved in those days?

If that memory had not been promised, I would not have been a candidate for the Virgin. I'm sure he couldn't stand the harsh days somewhere and had thrown everything away and escaped. That's how it wasn't supposed to be anyone.

Yes, because of what happened that day, I had a promise to Rugis that I would endure until today. But that's what I'm trying to do now. Arueno understood that something was about to deteriorate greatly in his own chest.

- Next time you see him, watch him, Arueno. Maybe he's a knight.

- Yeah, then don't worry. I'll wait for you, Rugis.

Over and over again in Arueno's brain, that last day is recalled. Myself, Mr. Nines, and Rugis. The three of us joked and still promised to meet again, that day.

My hands fall on the window frame of the carriage. No longer standing, Arueno leaned down on his knees on the spot. Emotions trample my chest scattered and rough, smearing my fun days black.

No, I made up my mind, but I swear. I swore I'd be a strong man to survive the harsh days in the cathedral, to keep my word.

Arueno leaned down and stared at the carriage floor getting wet. That's not going to stop, it's going to gain momentum.

- God, why did you lead me to this land? If I don't know, I won't suffer again.

Whether it was no longer a prayer to God or a grudge, even that was no longer well understood by Arueno. I just had memories in my mouth.

Oh, that confectionery, it was delicious, hey.