About my hopeless brother and sister

It was, with the excited anticipation of a young Qin Lan, with her greatest ability to express her feelings, writing them down in this notebook that she cherished most at the time. On it were notes of things I didn't like, things I liked, things I hated, people I liked, my every word and deed, even if it was just me giving her a piece of candy, she would record it, and on the back, draw a smiley face that represented happiness.

The font on the back gradually matured and took shape, gradually becoming the current Qin Lan beautiful font, but, the content did not change, still, every sentence and every entry, is my name.

Behind me, a few drops of cold liquid dripped onto my neck....

Chapter 38 on my potentially hurt classmates.

Masks, the history of such things goes back to the origins of mankind, right? in the time of the barbarians, there would have been people who would have worn masks to perform some ritual activities, using a covering with holes to shield their faces.

If a mask were merely an object, then such an object would be an ornament at best. But man is a creature with a mind and a brain, and this brain also likes to mess around with random thoughts, and what are random thoughts? Rambling is always trying to guess what someone else is thinking. Or what meaning someone else has made of this thing, what particular meaning this thing has or what meaning we're going to give it.

Ah, no, no, no, it's off topic off topic, and if we go on, we're going to pull the brain. Let's go on about masks, but if we talk about masks we'll be talking about the brain, so let's go on about the brain. Humans haven't been studying the brain for very long, or haven't studied it completely so far.

So that's very interesting, and it's probably one of the interesting things about humans that they don't even analyze what they want to think about their own brains but always think about what other people are thinking about.

Then people think about what they think of themselves in the eyes of others, and if they think they like a scary face, they put on a scary mask, people want a happy face, they put on a laughing mask, or they simply wear a mask to keep others from seeing their face.

Well, masks are interesting in that the meaning of something like a mask is not determined by the person wearing it per se, nor is it determined objectively, but depends entirely on the other person. In other words, the mask you wear is something that only the person opposite can decide, and if you remove the mask, you will not look like this, and you might even be criticized by others for being who you really are.

For example, if Qin Lan, who is now generous and elegant, shining bright and beautiful every day, were to be seen in this dirty room, what would people think of her? Does it make you feel like you're being cheated on? But Qin Lan did not lie to them, Qin Lan was indeed that way outside, and it was you who took Qin Lan's mask at face value.

And there's also Qin Lan who wears a mask in front of me all the time, the painful Qin Lan.

"Stupid...egg...idiot...idiot...you idiot!!!! "

Qin Lan's weak fists hit my back and head like rain, along with the real rain, Qin Lan was not a strong girl, and she barely felt her fists on my body. My heart, however, trembled with each blow.

I was silent, silently looking at the tender notes in front of me, feeling the pain and depression of the girl behind me for I don't know how many years, she seemed to be tired of fighting and lay on my back crying. Holding on tightly.

She was weeping, and she was gripping me tightly behind my back, vocalizing and crying as she had in the past, gripping me tightly, tearing her heart out, her tears running down my neck, cold as ice slag. I was pressed against her, unable to move, or else, I wanted now, to go back to holding her.

The way she appears to the outside world now, it's all just a mask.

The way she behaves in front of me should be a mask as well.

I still don't quite understand, I really don't. If she cares about me, why is she doing this to me, and what is the point of wearing this mask in front of me.

Masks are worn for others to see, but they also make others feel differently. What is the point of making me feel like she hates me? Why does she have to make me think she hates me?

I don't understand, I really don't.

But this reason, Qin Lan should know, right? For something that someone else knows, don't speculate about it yourself, but instead just go and ask that person.

But right now, I'm not going to ask the reason.

If this is a dream, then I don't want to wake up and cry on his back, venting my feelings on his back. Smearing my tears on him, feeling the warmth and smell of his body, the faint smell of mint, the reassuring warmth of being near him, even if it's a storm, and sleeping.

He remembered himself, and he hadn't exactly hated himself, even if he wasn't the one who had come to visit of his own accord. He remembers his favorite chocolate scones and helps himself to clean his room. There was finally a reassuring smell and warmth around himself, the pain and frustration he had felt for so many days all venting with his tears, and as long as he was there, then he, himself, could sleep away.

He was still beside himself. ...

"Awake?"

I turned back to look at Qin Lan, who was standing in the kitchen doorway, rubbing her eyes, and asked.

"Well..."

She rolled her eyes and then looked at me, looking confused.

I raised the spoon in my hand and then said, "The food isn't ready yet, so you should get some rest, you seem to have a low fever."

I looked her over, then turned to look at the stew pot in front of me and said, "Better go back and get dressed."

When she looked down at herself, her loose sleeping gown was hanging halfway down, her white, rounded shoulders were exposed, and it was obvious that there was no underwear in it. There were no pajama pants either, just the top of the nightgown to keep herself away. Walking barefoot on the ground, it's a good thing I cleaned up before, otherwise it would be sticky walking on the ground bar.

"You can still go back to sleep more, after all it will be a while before you're done. A girl can't be home every day, fast food isn't even made anywhere."

I looked at the pot in front of me, stirring slowly, not looking there, and continued.

"I told the President to unlock the lock that was meant to trap me. Really, I don't know what to say, I'll come back tomorrow to take care of you, and the day after tomorrow I have to be on time for class. In the future, if I cook an extra portion and bring it to school for you, don't always eat fast food ah, on the weekend, I'll come and clean up for you, but you also clean up yourself."

It's really reassuring to see this person.

There was a rush of footsteps, and then a gentle bump on my back. A pair of hands tightly clasped my waist, Qin Lan was so close to my back that I could even feel the pressure from Qin Lan's chest.

Her head was gently pressed against my back, and her hands were trembling slightly, clasping my waist tightly.

My body stiffened and I couldn't even move a finger. Being held by the girl I once liked and probably still like, my own heart began to gradually accelerate. She might not have washed up properly for a long time, but she still carried a faint scent that wasn't annoying.

"Don't go...please..."

"Don't..."

The hand that was clasping me was even harder.

"At night...and don't leave...please..."

With a nasal cries, she begged behind me.

I watched in silence as the pot in front of me slowly tumbled, the creamy gumbo that the chairman had asked me to make yesterday seemed to have a place available now, I felt like this was literally my sister's routine from head to toe, what the hell was wrong with me those two days, why didn't I notice it at all.

"Well, I'm not leaving."

Well, Chairman's side then, it won't be a problem to eat out once, ah, even if there's still tomorrow Chairman won't starve to death.

"Well..."

She seemed to be relieved and leaned her head heavily against my back.

"Go back and lie down, I'll call you when it's ready."

"Don't..."

"Really, really will call you."

"No!"

"I can't move if you're holding me like that..."

Don't be a spoiled brat...really, I'm going to be easy to hold on to....

"Hmph..."

Qin Lan smiled proudly and rubbed hard against my back, but still didn't let go.

At this time, there was a sudden doorbell at the door, and Qin Lan moved from behind me and straightened up.