About my hopeless brother and sister

"I'm not lying to you!"

"You are a liar! Why...why...why don't you want to talk to me anymore, why...why don't you come here anymore, why... ...Why have you been around Lan Lan and the others, why are you having an affair with Yixin on the side, why... why... why don't you even want to be around me anymore... ..."

Wu Mo Xie's voice was almost inaudible due to choking, but her anger and pain plunged through my ribs and right into my heart. I held Wu Mo Xie in my arms, Wu Mo Xie didn't resist, but her hands were harder, almost breaking my arms. I understood why.

It wasn't Wu Mo Xi going back to the past, it wasn't the literary club going back to the past, it wasn't Wu Mo Xi's future, and it wasn't the literary club's future, it was the future without me.

What a fool I am.

I've been asking myself how long it's been since I've been to the literary club, but I never forget how long it's been since I've, like, had a good conversation with this girl. I've been using the excuse that I'm busy and the meeting will be awkward to avoid meeting Wu Mo Xi, which will instead make Wu Mo Xi suffer. Obviously Song Yixin also confessed, but why would I be afraid of Wu Mohee alone?

Maybe I'm scared, I'm scared that I'll never be able to let go of Wu Mo Xi again.

"I'm so scared... I'm so lonely... no one... everyone... ...all of them don't come...Qin Feng also ignored me...I'm so scared...I'm really, so scared that you guys hate me... ...Qin Feng...Qin Feng, don't be like this...I'm really scared! Really...really..."

"I'm sorry..."

I get it, I get it.

I don't have to say anything, I don't have to explain anything, I just need an apology at this point.

Wu Moxie's body trembled, then weakly softened and collapsed into my arms, curled up like a tired rabbit after an angry outburst. I hugged her, gently patting her back, soothing her. I didn't have to say anything, but since it was my fault, I needed to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Wu Moxie, I...it's not that I hate you, nor did I mean to try to avoid you. It's just that I'm afraid that if I see you again, I won't be able to resist and hug you."

"Please... please... don't leave me... no matter what happens... I won't be unreasonable, I won't pester you, I won't ask you to do anything... Qin Feng... I just hope that you, don't leave me behind, you made me see all of this, don't leave me alone... don't hate me, don't leave me, don't get tired of me... please... please..."

Wu Moxie's trembling voice came from my heart, and she hugged me tightly with fear and anxiety. I've changed Wu Mohee's life, I've changed her world, and yet, I'm leaving like this.

I'm sorry, Mohee.

"I won't leave you."

I said softly.

No, it wasn't a sentence, maybe not in words. It's a promise? Or a contract? In short, it's something more powerful than words, and it's something I'll never forget.

Don't leave her.

"...Well!"

Wu Moxie sniffled and leaned even closer to my chest, rubbing it gently.

"But in the future, if you're scared, come to me. No matter what your problem is, no matter what your fear is, come tell me. I will, I won't ignore you."

I freed up a hand and cautiously stroked Wu Moxie's rounded head, and said softly.

"...Qin Feng is also..."

Wu Moxie froze, and then, in my chest, said, "If there's anything wrong, if there's anything wrong with me... Qin Feng... Qin Feng has to tell me too... don't... don't leave without a word..."

"Well!"

I slowly raised my hand, carefully, and wiped the tears on her face. Wu Moxie seemed tired, in my arms, breathing slowly.

Neither of us were wrong.

Neither of us was wrong.

But we both understand one thing.

Don't leave each other.

Chapter 197 about my soon-to-be-revealed inner circle.

"Brother, it's so late, won't you go to bed?"

The president stood up, patted the scraps of wafer cookies from his pajamas, then looked at me and asked.

I took a sip of milk and shook my head. She lifted her glass, drank the milk from it in one gulp, stuck her tongue out, licked her lips, smacked her lips, stood up, and said, "Why, to wait for Lin Yiran? If that's the case, there's no need for you, Qin Feng. Because even without you, she'll come back on her own."

"No, I'm not worried about her about this... I'm just going to wait for everyone to come back, it's sort of the duty of a person who waits at home."

"Whatever you guys say, I'm going to bed, and you might not believe me when I say that we have a monthly exam tomorrow. Alas, I envy you naive students who don't have to worry about anything, but I'm genuinely gloating at the thought that you'll have to go through the same pain I'm going through."

The president stretched his back and left behind very indebted words before heading to his room and closing the door.

I looked at Qun Lan, stood up to pick up my glass and headed to the kitchen. She stood in the living room, then sat back down, looked at me in the kitchen, and said, "What the hell are you waiting for Lin Yiran for? Worried about your little one going missing at night or coming home to see no one and crying? You can rest assured that Lin Yiran used to come home and it was also dark."

"Not for anything, since Lin Yiran lived in here, then I'm responsible ah. It's not chilling to have a dark home, it's the fact that there are people in the house but it's still dark that hurts the most."

I finished washing the cups and put them away, then walked back into the living room and sat down on one side. Sighing, I decided to play a little bit of a special time-killing game, like Jitterbug's Soul, which I still haven't cleared. One thing I need to clarify is that I'm not handicapped, and the only reason my strategy is so slow is because my main job is still PC gaming, which is just killing time for when I have nothing to do. This was my initial thought, but now, do you think I have anything better to do with my time?

She watched as I picked up the handle, curled my legs up on the couch, and looked at me and said, "You went to see Wu Mo Xi today."

"Yeah."

I answered vaguely, and to be honest I didn't tell anyone about my going to see Wu Mo Xi this afternoon, not even the chairman. Not to mention Qin Lan, but now that Qin Lan actually knew, it made me panic a bit. However, we can't panic at this time, it's easy to have a ghost if we panic.

"You carry a strong smell of the perfume Wu Mo Xi uses."

Qin Lan sighed and said, "Do you know why I know? Because I was the one who accompanied Wu Mo Xi when she picked out her cosmetics."

"Huh? Does Wu Moxie use them too?"

"Not too skilled just yet, but the perfume is anyone's idea of a good spray, I guess."

"To be honest I didn't even smell it."

It was the truth, I really didn't smell it, and I wondered if I was focused on how to comfort Wu Moxie instead of Wu Moxie's smell. Furthermore, the literary club might have been permeated with Wu Moxie's perfume, so that my nose wasn't able to smell Wu Moxie's perfume.

"Qin Feng how far are you going to get into flowers, I can't stand you. You should know that, right, Lin Yiran...Lin Yiran likes you. And...and...it's not just Wu Mo Xi who confessed to you, right, so why are you still trying to get into trouble everywhere?"

She paused several times in such a sentence, and I dropped the handle, the TV character standing dumbfounded by the fire. I looked at Qin Lan's face, which was marked with anger, but not impulsiveness or madness. I touched my head and said, "It's not that I want this, but, it's just... I really don't have many friends, if they're ignoring me too."

"You're like central air conditioning! Do you want to make everyone happy? That's simply not possible!"

The anger on her face became more obvious as she stood up, "Can you take your temperature? Do you have any idea how much pain you're causing people with this so-called fraternity? Do you realize that you're hurting them? Do you realize that you're hurting everyone? Do you realize that you're causing pain to all the people who like you?!"

Pain... pain, right?

What is pain?

Or, why do humans suffer? How does pain arise? Under what circumstances do humans develop such emotions as pain? It's not sadness, it's not jealousy, it's not some weird negative emotion, it's pain. It's a broad collection of names, again with a simple specific reference.

What is pain?

What you can't get is pain?