About my hopeless brother and sister

It was my fault for confessing on that day.

If I hadn't confessed, my sister wouldn't have gone out with me, wouldn't have gone to the playground with me, wouldn't have been found out by my cousin, wouldn't have alerted my uncle, wouldn't have let my sister leave, wouldn't have let my sister stay at my uncle's house in case of a fire.

It was all my fault, all of this.

It was my weakness that made my sister leave, my impulsiveness that made my sister take the blame, my caprice that made my sister and I come to this point. It's all my fault that my sister is like this, if it's my fault that my sister died, what else can I do?

This is the punishment for me, I guess.

The torture of me, the punishment of me. There is no wrong, none of it. It wasn't unfair to me, it was overly fair to me. My mistake, making my sister suffer, making me suffer. That was the consequence of my choices, and that's what caused this now. It's all my fault, it's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

I'm the one who caused this now.

So, I can't be angry, I don't get to be miserable, I don't get to be miserable, I don't get to receive sympathy because I'm to blame for all of this. My sister is the victim, my sister is the victim of my mistake, and I should be the one who started this fire.

I was the one who, with my own hands, burned my sister's body, my sister's future. I did all of this.

It has nothing to do with anyone else, it's all my fault. No one is to blame for this, no one needs to blame themselves, because the person who is truly responsible is standing here at this time. I don't get to enjoy my life anymore, I was wrong to begin with. When I abandoned my sister, I was no longer entitled to enjoy my life.

I get it.

I get it now.

Why I'm no longer in pain, why I can't shed tears.

It's because I did all of this, all of this I should have taken on. From now on, I am no longer myself, my sister gave me my present life and I ruined my sister's future, so from now on, it is me who gives my sister her future, I have no future, what I am carrying, should be my sister's future.

"Anna, are you hungry? Come on, I'll take you to get something to eat. There's no point in waiting here, but if my sister is gone, after that, I'll live over there and take care of you."

I pressed the elevator and waited quietly for it.

In the reflection of the metal doors of the elevator was my shadow.

There was no glow.

Chapter 242 about my burned out future (II)

"The investigation of the accident we have concluded and this is the result. We've ruled out the suspicion that someone deliberately set the fire, and that the fire was an accident. I know this may be hard for you to accept, but this incident was really just an accident. Of course, your neighbors and the property are very much to blame for blocking the fire escape and piling up flammable materials. But your neighbor at this time has...right, so the main responsibility will have to be on the property's side, and we'll contact you again as soon as possible for specific compensation and other matters."

The policeman across the street nodded, then looked at me, sighed, and said, "But don't be too sad... all of this... well... ...What can I say, there's no way to fix it...If that girl, it's best if she survives...Take care of her. If you don't make it through...I still hope you'll be strong."

Aren't you talking a little too much as a police officer? What's more, I've seen you before you're the young policeman who was scared by my sister and Song Yixin before, right? Although I'm not very good at remembering people, I still remember you. After all, you're the one who's so nosy.

I picked up a pen and signed my name. I wasn't and expecting compensation or anything like that, uncle's family's wealth wasn't so great that they were out on the streets because of a fire. What's more, my uncle didn't have anything to put a lot of cash in the house, nor did he have any gold or silver or soft, and the most valuable set of built-in air conditioners among the things that were burned, so the damage wasn't great. And uncle actually also bought insurance, so uncle heard the home fire, not particularly excited.

But when he heard that his sister and cousin were injured, he got a little excited, and after repeatedly telling me to take care of them, he said he would hurry back. It's been a long time since my aunt passed away, so I'm the oldest one in the family now. No, rather, I'm the only one who is still able to move around.

Before I listened to more comforting words from this police officer, I put my pen down, thanked him and stepped outside. The harsh sunlight from outside shone in all at once, and I held out my hand to shield it from the sun, watching the traffic coming and going on the street. I turned around and walked towards the hospital.

I was already familiar with these two streets, as you become familiar with them when you've been back and forth on them countless times a day. The hospital, it's about to become my residence, because, well, I have to be there.

My cousin's injuries were superficial, and according to her, she and her sister were still very decisive and timely in dealing with the fire, and instead of being burned by the flames, they ran into the fire escape. But the fire escape was stacked with boards and other decorating materials, which were also burning, and just as the two of them entered the fire escape, the wooden shelf where the paint was stacked collapsed at that moment, and a bucket of burning paint was spilled down. In order to protect her cousin, my sister pushed her cousin down the stairs at the last minute and then got herself splashed and, moreover, buried in the collapsed wooden shelf.

The burning paint, and the burning boards, caused my sister to be burned 60% all over her body, while inhaling so much toxic gas that even the doctors said it was a miracle that she survived.

I couldn't bear to see it, I couldn't bear to see my sister's face, all that ever came to my mind was my sister's shining face, only her most beautiful face, only her heartless smile. I couldn't imagine, I couldn't see, and I didn't want to see, I couldn't accept that my sister looked like she was covered in scars.

"Even if she survives, half of her body will be covered in scars from her burns. These will definitely stay with her for the rest of her life, so it's important for the family to talk to her so that she can have a better quality of life in the future."

This is what the doctor had told me before. This time it gave me some hope, at least, he wasn't talking about me preparing for the funeral, but that I would be able to counsel my sister properly in the future. This means that my sister's condition has improved and that she won't die...she should, she won't die.

Sister won't die.

She promised me. Never leave me, never leave me. Sister won't leave me, so Sister will definitely not die. It's nothing more than the future, I will be my sister's life from now on, and this time, I will never give my sister up, even if everyone is against it, even if everyone disagrees, I will stand by her. Absolutely will not let go, because it's my fault for making my sister like this, I'm going to give my sister future happiness.

Despite those words from the doctor, my sister's condition is still very bad, she is still not awake, and there are nurses and doctors monitoring her all the time. It's rare for them to see a patient with such extensive burns. I can't do anything now, I can't see my sister, I can't touch her, I can't even convey my words to her.

I can only be in the hospital every day, I wasn't by my sister's side during the fire, at least, I have to be by her side when she wakes up, even if I live in the hospital. But I have to guard my sister's side. After this, I must stay by my sister's side and not take a single step away.

"Qin Feng! Qin Feng!"

Just as I was about to walk into the hospital, someone behind me suddenly called out to me, and in a very urgent voice. I turned around and saw the figure of the person who was so familiar that my eyes hurt.

Wu Moxie ran up to me and held me with a slight gasp, then raised her head, looking anxious and nervous, her whole face white with fear, as if the person lying in there was her sister. I looked at her and asked, "What's the matter, Wu Moxie?"

Wu Moxie stared at me, dumbfounded, then pressed my shoulder and shouted anxiously, "What's wrong! Of course it's my sister! How's my sister? How's my sister? All right? Don't be...don't be...never...never! It must be fake... Sister... Sister she..."

Wu Moxie was getting more and more excited, and her legs were weakening as tears dripped uncontrollably down between her eyes. But her hand was on my shoulder, and if it wasn't for me, she would have been sitting on the floor by this time. I don't know how she knew about her sister, I didn't tell anyone. It wasn't something that should be known to most people, I could take care of my sister by myself and didn't need to tell anyone.

Besides, I'm sure my sister didn't want anyone else to know what she was like right now.

"It's okay."

I stretched out my hand, pulled Wu Moxie away, turned around, and said, "It's nothing serious, my sister is still in a coma, but it shouldn't be anything serious. If there's nothing else, I have to go back now, my sister is burned and can't be visited, so you'd better go back, Wu Moxie."

"Qin Feng..."

Wu Moxie called out softly behind me, with pleading and pain, but it had nothing to do with me. I didn't turn back or stop, but continued to walk forward and pushed open the hospital door. After Wu Moxie and I would have nothing to do with each other, I couldn't take care of two people at the same time, that wouldn't be fair to everyone, and I would only have one sister in my life. No one, no matter who it is, can come in.

Guilt? Guilt over Wu Mo Xi? Maybe there is, but it's probably better that way. It's hard to leave a person, but if one hates a person and hates them, then forgetting them is quick. I couldn't give Wu Moxie a future, although at that time I wanted to go on with Wu Moxie, but it was a dream, a dream that was destined to wake up. And the call that came at that time was the waking of the dream.

I don't need anyone by my side in the future, just having my sister is enough. My future is to exist for my sister, the meaning of living as people often say, I have finally found it now, although the price is too high, but it is the most important work I want to accomplish now.

From now on, I will live with my sister until I die. Always, I will no longer need anyone else in my world, just myself will be enough. I will not leave my sister to anyone but myself, only I can take care of her, and anyone else, can only bring her pain.

This is an example, a realistic example, even if it is a family member, even if it is someone else, there is nothing that can be done. Nothing will happen to my sister if she is with me, and she will get hurt if she leaves me. As such, I just need to stay by my sister's side all the time, I won't go anywhere as long as I'm there.

"Qin Feng!!!"

Just as I was about to enter the elevator, there was a sudden strong tug behind me, and I stumbled a few times, shrugging off the force behind me and saying I was sorry. Ah, no, I have to go upstairs, I have to go up there, my sister is up there, I have to stay with her to get there. It doesn't matter what happens, in any case, I have to stay with her.

"Qin Feng... please... please... please... don't be like this... please... don't be like this..."

The cries behind me tugged at me tightly, and I stepped into the elevator, reaching out to press the button. Suddenly a hand slammed in my way, and Wu Moxie's face appeared in front of me once more, with a face full of tears, and twisted pain. Kneeling in front of me.

"Please... Qin Feng... don't be like this... don't be like this... please... don't be like this... it's too painful... it's too painful... don't... don't be like this... cry out if you want to... don't torture yourself like this... it's really too... painful for you..."

Wu Moxie gripped my hands and clothes tightly, in front of me, crying out. I looked at the elevator button, pushing the girl in front of me away, and Wu Mo Xi held onto my arm with a death grip, just not letting me press it. I was able to press it later, but you have to think about the other people. Anyway, it's a little too bad that we're making a scene in the elevator like this.

"Sorry."

I apologized and pulled Wu Moxie out of the elevator. I looked at the signs and headed for the stairs. I could walk up there, no matter what, I had to get to my sister's side, without me my sister had become like this, and it was important to have me by her side when she was so important.

"Qin Feng...please!!!"

Wu Moxie held on to me tightly, this way she was dragged over here by me, dragged here. She was dragged by me to the stairs, and here it's not that I was held by her, but because I couldn't go up the stairs because I was held back.