American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote

At 7 AM, he was at the sports medicine center undergoing an MRI and a 3D bone density scan (thankfully, he had leveled up to Silver Body 1/4, gaining the ability to alter his physique). Sampling needles were repeatedly inserted into his veins to monitor fluctuations in various metrics under high-intensity stress.

At noon, he was trapped in an NBC or ESPN studio, roasting under the glare of countless spotlights while repeatedly telling his American Dream story (as required by the event organizers).

𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

Then at 4 PM, it was off to Nike for custom gear fitting and to have his likeness captured. He was running around so much that he didn’t even have time to deal with Don Quixote’s sleepwalking.

Fortunately, in his dreams, after Don Quixote discovered he had lost his treasured sword (an iron rod), he announced he would set off to find a new weapon, and he hadn’t had a sleepwalking episode for over a week now.

During an in-depth interview with ESPN, a reporter finally dropped the bombshell they had been holding onto:

"Mr. Li Wei, there’s a highly controversial rumor circulating in the football world. It’s said that John Mara, the owner of the New York Giants, is privately working with several influential partners to lobby NFL headquarters to change the eligibility rule requiring draft prospects to be at least three years removed from high school graduation."

His tone was piercingly sharp, and he stared at Li Wei without blinking as he spoke.

"It’s widely believed that this yet-to-be-implemented ’Li Wei Provision’ is a fast track to the NFL created specifically for you. Did you turn down all your college offers and hundreds of thousands of US Dollars in NIL contracts because you already knew about this rule change being made on your behalf? Do you believe you deserve this ’special exemption’ that breaks a century-old tradition?"

Li Wei adjusted the microphone slightly and answered the reporter’s question:

"First of all, I have absolutely no idea where this rumor came from," he said, lying through his teeth. "Second, if the NFL does decide to re-evaluate its eligibility system, that would only indicate that the current ’three-year rule’ has its flaws when you consider the evolution of the sport. Finally, I’ll add one more point: I rejected the NIL contracts based on a financial judgment involving risk hedging and discounted future cash flow, not on a reliance on some kind of political lobbying."

And so, the days slipped by. After more than two weeks, once the final insurance waiver was signed, Li Wei could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

He now had a full set of custom gear (helmet included), a thick medical report that exempted him from further testing for at least a year, and a round-trip ticket to San Antonio for after Christmas.

Before Li Wei knew it, Thanksgiving was just around the corner.

In late November in New York, the temperature had plummeted. Fallen leaves in the Bei Ling Ridge Region were swept through the streets by the cold wind.

Li Wei leaned back on the sofa, letting out a bored yawn.

In front of him, Don Quixote was pacing back and forth across the living room at an incredible speed, just like a hamster trapped in a cage, running endlessly to and fro.

"Hey," he said, looking at Don Quixote, "you’ve been pacing around the house for half an hour. Just make the call already."

Don Quixote stopped pacing. He was holding a limited-edition Barbie doll he had just taken out of its gift box, clumsily trying to straighten its pink lace skirt.

Not only that, but Li Wei would bet he had spent over 1,500 USD for this Thanksgiving.

The Don Quixote who used to pinch every penny, who was incredibly frugal and tight-fisted with himself, was surprisingly generous when it came to his daughter.

In the center of the dining table sat a huge pumpkin basket, filled with pinecones and colorful ribbons.

A small pile of gifts was stacked in the corner, including a complete set of Lily’s favorite picture books. There was even a set of small equestrian protective gear that he had asked Li Wei to order from the Celestial Dynasty.

On the kitchen counter sat a frozen turkey weighing at least 15 pounds—oh, but he hadn’t bought it. He had gotten it by waiting in line at a welfare agency he used to frequent.

Spurred on by Li Wei, Don Quixote finally made up his mind. He took a deep breath and dialed his ex-wife’s number.

However, as the call connected, the look of anticipation on Don Quixote’s face quickly turned to confusion, and finally to an ashen rage, like a volcano on the verge of eruption.

"You want another 1,000 USD?" His voice shot up an octave. "Why? And I’ll never agree to the equestrian training camp!"

A piercing, cold laugh came from the other end of the line. Even without speakerphone, Li Wei’s enhanced physique and Spirit allowed him to clearly hear the ex-wife’s arrogant tone.

"Stop pretending," she said. "I’ve been keeping an eye on you. You’re doing pretty well for yourself lately, aren’t you? In that case, your child support payments should naturally go up, too. Back when you were living in a basement, you coughed up 5,000 USD just like that. So, adding another 1,000 USD a month shouldn’t be too hard for you, right?"

"Absolutely not!" Don Quixote said, his face ashen. "Even if I agree now, you’ll just use this to blackmail me again in the future."

"Then you can go spend it with your turkey."

CLICK. The line went dead.

...

"That vicious woman! That greedy bitch!"

Don Quixote snatched the Barbie doll from the coffee table, then gently set it back down as if afraid of breaking it.

He looked around wildly, searching for something to vent his anger on.

"I’m going to go get her back," he said, starting for the door. "She’s starting middle school next year. She can’t end up like that bitch of a mother. She’ll ruin Lily."