American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote

"What are you thinking?" Li Wei tapped his head helplessly. "I told you, she just suddenly stopped my car at night."

"That’s good, then," Don Quixote muttered. "I think that Anya girl is pretty great."

"And what about Liz?" Li Wei asked with a smile. "How do they stack up against each other?"

"I think they’re both great," Don Quixote mused, "but I like Elizabeth a little more. After all, she’s a young lady from the Mellon Family. And that blonde hair is so beautiful."

Li Wei shrugged. It seemed like every American was utterly obsessed with blonde hair.

"By the way," Li Wei said, "Chen Haisheng isn’t a full-time employee with benefits on your end either, is he?"

"Actually, that’s the second thing I wanted to talk to you about," Don Quixote said. "I think he’s a really decent young man. Should we arrange a proper job and status for him?"

Just then, Chen Haisheng knocked and entered, telling Li Wei and Don Quixote that he had finished washing the car. If there was nothing else, he was ready to leave.

"Wait," Li Wei paused. "Brother Haisheng, hold on a second."

"What is it, Mr. Li Wei?" Chen Haisheng paused, stunned. "Is there something else you need me to do?"

Seeing that Don Quixote was also looking at him with a serious expression, he suddenly felt a little uneasy.

"It’s like this," Don Quixote coughed twice. "Um... Hai Sheng, you’ve been working for a while now. You’re a very hardworking young man, so I think it’s time to give you a formal job."

"Oh," Chen Haisheng nodded subconsciously. "Huh?"

He froze for a moment. "Really?"

"Yes," Li Wei said. "You’ll be Uncle Don Quixote’s assistant and bodyguard. The base annual salary, according to market rate, will be around 150,000 USD a year, and we’ll also provide good health and commercial insurance. However, you might need to sign a rather strict non-disclosure agreement—"

"I’ll sign it!" Chen Haisheng blurted out.

For him, an annual salary of 150,000 USD was already considered a high salary for a decent, proper job. And that wasn’t even the most important part.

The most important thing was the recognition. He finally had a recognized status with Li Wei. This was more than ten times more important than any amount of USD or health insurance.

"Alright," Don Quixote nodded. "Then I’ll prepare some contracts for you tomorrow."

Li Wei’s Horizon Holding Company Limited welcomed two new employees starting today:

Jin Heon, Brand PR Intern; Chen Haisheng, Assistant Manager and Driver.

A few days of classes flew by. This weekend, Li Wei was about to face the seventh game of the regular season, a home game for the Giants against the Carolina Panthers.

This was a team even weaker than the Giants. Even without Li Wei, they would have been able to win easily.

Li Wei once again practiced the Knightly virtue of ’Honor,’ leading the team to a seven-game winning streak. They were now just four wins away from locking in a playoff spot.

[You led your Knight Order to an easy victory over the Druid tribes deep in the jungle. Their transformed claws and hides were insignificant before your organized formations of iron armor and warhorses. You have practiced the virtue of ’Honor’ and defended the glory of the Knights.]

[You have gained 0.1 free attribute points.]

Regarding this game, no one doubted that Li Wei would win. The discussion about Li Wei was more focused on the next game—the home matchup against the Kansas City Chiefs.

"Welcome to ESPN’s *Monday Night Touchdown*. I’m your old friend, Joe Buck."

"And I’m Troy Aikman."

Joe Buck was ecstatic. As a Li Chui, he was thrilled whenever Li Wei won. The more Li Wei won, the more thrilled he was.

"I’m telling you, Troy, you should just give up on those old-fashioned views of yours. This is the world of the yellow-skinned God, Li Wei," Joe Buck said gloatingly. "Seven games, a seven-win streak, zero sacks. And have you forgotten his long passes and his ability to score a touchdown all by himself? Without a doubt, he is the number one Quarterback in the NFL today!"

"But does Li Wei have a Super Bowl ring?" Troy sneered. "You have to remember, among the teams he’s beaten so far, only two could be considered strong. This green field is never short on one-hit-wonder geniuses."

In reality, Troy wasn’t being stubborn anymore. It’s just that the TV station needed to create drama for the show. With a Li Chui present, there had to be a Li-hater.

Otherwise, when he and Joe Buck were discussing it in the studio:

"I think Li Wei is the number one Quarterback today."

"OMG, I think so too!"

Then what else would be left to talk about on the show? Just gush over Li Wei endlessly?

The debate on television was just the tip of the iceberg. The real battlefield was on the internet.

On YouTube and TikTok, countless sports bloggers and fans were burning the midnight oil to pump out comparison clip videos.

Mahomes’s strength lay in his ability to read the game and his top-tier long passes, known as "no-look passes." Li Wei, on the other hand, seemed to have no weaknesses but was more inclined toward individual heroism.

The fans of both sides engaged in a brutal war in the comments sections.

"Listen up, you softie Chiefs fans, this is a real terminator! If your Mahomes took a hit like that from a linebacker, his bones would probably fall apart, right?"

"LMAO, he plays a few good games and suddenly he’s picking a fight with the current number one? Just wait until he gets to Arrowhead Stadium. Spagnuolo’s (the Chiefs’ defensive coordinator) blitz tactics will teach this rookie, who only knows how to be a barbarian, a lesson!"

The flame war on Twitter was even more of a mess. Five of the top ten trending topics in North America were related to this upcoming game.

The hashtags #Mahomes and #KingLiWei were being spammed by fans on both sides, with all sorts of personal attacks and trash talk flying everywhere.

Li Wei’s fans were mostly from the younger generation and were aggressive, while Mahomes had seniority and a more stable fanbase. For a time, the two sides were evenly matched.

As for all this, Li Wei left it entirely in the hands of Don Quixote and Jin Heon. He himself drove to the Johnson Group’s North American R&D center to have a preliminary discussion with the R&D director there about the sports drink, and to see if he could trigger that ancient Magic Potion quest.

The interior was filled with sterile corridors, high-speed centrifuges, and senior researchers in white lab coats rushing about.

The person who received Li Wei was a senior director of the lab, Dr. Arnold. He was enthusiastically showing the popular NFL superstar their latest electrolyte metabolism pipeline and sports rehabilitation lab.

"Mr. Li Wei, every patent here has undergone at least three phases of rigorous FDA clinical trials. In terms of stability and safety, our formulas are the absolute benchmark of the industry," Dr. Arnold introduced proudly.

"Dr. Arnold," Li Wei said, looking at his forehead, "why is your head so pointy?"

"This..." Dr. Arnold hadn’t expected Li Wei to ask such a bizarre question and was stunned on the spot.

"Just kidding. I looked at the comparison with Gatorade. There are some pros and cons, but to be honest, they’re more or less the same, aren’t they?" Li Wei asked while taking out the [Jester’s Skull] from his inventory and letting it explore on its own.

"You’re absolutely right," Dr. Arnold said, rubbing his smooth forehead. "But sports drink formulas are all pretty much the same. Unless you’re talking about illegal, injectable substances, it’s rare for this type of formula and ratio to have a significantly more pronounced effect. At most, you might get some different clinical trial results in terms of taste and duration through rigorous double-blind and comparative experiments."

Li Wei nodded. In other words, these products had no significant differences compared to sports drinks like Gatorade or Mizone.

In the beverage category these days, the competition was all about channels and supply chains. It was hard to innovate based on formula alone.

The [Jester’s Skull] flew up and down, and soon flew back, circling Dr. Arnold and sizing him up:

[Look at this Alchemist... sitting up high in his tower, yet more hidebound than my grandmother’s foot-binding cloth! No wonder Magic began to fade after the Abyssal War. Even alchemical items have become hard to find... Wait, aren’t I an alchemical item? GAGAGAGAGA.]

It laughed to itself for a moment, then stared intently at the pointy-headed Dr. Arnold before it.

[Mad, tyrannical, hidebound... He seems to feel guilty for having dealt with his heretical apprentice himself. Not a shred of courage to pursue the truth.]

Wait.

Li Wei keenly noticed that the [Jester’s Skull] had just used the word "heretical."

"I’m very hopeful about establishing a relationship with the Johnson Group," he said impassively. "But I’m rather concerned about confidentiality and personnel turnover. Could you let me see your personnel records?"

Dr. Arnold had already been shocked once today by Li Wei’s train of thought. He was no longer surprised by Li Wei’s requests and led him to the personnel department.

Dr. Elias Thorne.

Li Wei looked at the name, the only one on the list of departures from the last three months, and recited it silently in his mind.

[Series Quest: Ancient Magic Potion - Stage 1 Complete]

[You have found the heretical Alchemist]

[You have received the Stage 1 reward: Free Attribute Points +0.1]

[Stage 2 Quest: Ask him for his Magic Potion formula]

[Stage Quest Reward: Free Attribute Points +0.1]

’It worked!’

Li Wei was secretly overjoyed. Bringing this foul-mouthed [Jester’s Skull] along was indeed useful. It was worthy of being a Gold-level item; it had really managed to sniff out the lead.

Looking at the [Jester’s Skull] still chattering away at the side, Li Wei stuffed it directly back into his inventory to get some peace and quiet.

After bidding farewell to Dr. Arnold, Li Wei planned to do a little digging into this person’s whereabouts, hoping to find him and complete the second stage of the quest.

Just then, however, Li Wei’s phone rang again.

He took it out and saw it was Mark, whom he hadn’t heard from in a week.

"Hello? Mr. Mark, this is Li Wei."

"Mr. Li Wei," Mark spoke rapidly, "Julian has made a move. In the end, he didn’t get involved personally, but he definitely got someone from FinCEN (the United States Financial Crimes Enforcement Bureau) to help. I saw a freeze order issued by FinCEN that’s set to take effect next week."

"This freeze order is valid for three months," he said. "Once it takes effect, for three months, Miss Elizabeth’s foundation will be unable to disburse or receive funds from any source. Not only Miss Anna’s 50 million USD, but even the youth sports rehabilitation fund you and the Johnson Group have under it will be forced to cease operations."