Chapter 367: The Black Market
Zhenlan’s expression didn’t relax at all. "Even if you aren’t going after that thing now, you’re still reacting to hearing its name."
"Obviously I’m reacting to it. Something tried to eat me and is still alive. What response would make you feel better? Should I write about my feelings? Make a scrapbook? I think I have purple glitter around, maybe some white to replicate just how it’s mouth tried to rip me apart," I snarled.
Fuck being nice. I didn’t need to keep remembering ... that.... What I needed was to feel like I was in control, and this was the best way I knew how to do it.
"I’d settle for you not running outside without a plan," replied Zhenlan, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I straightened and stared at him. "I already told you the plan."
"No, you told us you were going hunting."
"That is the plan."
His eyes closed for a second and I saw that particular expression that he sometimes got on his face both before and after the apocalypse. It was the expression he made when he realized I was serious and wished that I wasn’t.
I stepped closer, stopping before he could accuse me of trying to walk through him. "I need cores. Green ones, preferably. Any green cores that I had weren’t nearly big enough or strong enough to put even a drop in the bucket of my powers. It was like using a dropper to fill up a swimming pool. So I’m going outside, I’m going to kill zombies, and I’m going to keep killing them until I have enough cores to do what I need to do."
Zhenlan eyes snapped open. For a second I thought for sure that I could see bolts of lightning flashing through them. "Then tell me. How many is enough?"
"When my powers have finally been topped off and I don’t feel like I am constantly running on empty," I replied. Could I have told him that it felt like ever since the plants had been burned by fire (no thanks to Meilan) that it feels like they have been drawing on me to compensate?
Sure.
But I wasn’t going to until I knew what all that meant.
"That isn’t a number," interjected Zhenlan, shaking my head.
"This isn’t a project proposal where you expect me to have a budget or a number in my head. I don’t have a number. I will keep going after zombies until I get what I need. Then, and only then, will I stop."
"And that’s exactly my problem," he replied like he was the only one seeing the bigger picture. I felt my temper twitch, but for once, kept my mouth shut.
"I’m not telling you to ignore the Devourer," he said, his voice turning soft again like he was giving me a carrot instead of the switch. "I’m telling you not to throw yourself at the first available action because sitting still feels worse."
That hit closer than I liked.
Which meant he needed to stop talking immediately.
"I’m not sitting still while that thing gets stronger," I snapped. "The first time I fought it, I barely survived. I used whatever worked and hoped it kept working. This time, I’m not walking into that fight with the same amount of control and expecting a different result."
No one interrupted me, and even Lingyun had stopped smiling.
I pointed toward the bed where the cores were still sitting out in the open. "Those were useless. Tiny, weak, pathetic little pieces of energy that didn’t even make it past my wrist before whatever they held was already gone. So I need more. That means hunting."
Chenghai finally moved.
He set the plate down on the dresser, carefully, like the pancakes had somehow become evidence in a trial none of us wanted to attend. Then he turned toward me and crossed his arms.
"You can’t hunt only the zombies with green cores," he pointed out.
I rolled my eyes. "Watch me."
His expression didn’t change, which somehow made him more irritating. "You won’t know which ones have green cores until after they’re dead."
"That sounds like a problem with the zombies, not my plan."
"It becomes a problem with your plan when you kill a hundred of them and get nothing you can use." Chenghai’s voice stayed level, but the muscle in his jaw had started to jump. "You’ll waste more power digging through bodies than you’ll get back from the cores."
I huffed and pulled my hair out from beneath the back of my shirt. "Then I’ll kill two hundred."
"Rouxi." He said my name like he was trying very hard not to raise his voice, which only made me want to test how long that effort would last.
"What?" I demanded, spreading my hands. "I need cores. Zombies have cores. I kill zombies, get their cores, and my problem is solved. This isn’t that complicated. I don’t know why I still have to explain it."
"It is when you’re already exhausted, and you don’t even know how many green cores you need." Chenghai gestured toward the bed, where the last of the useless cores had been scattered only minutes earlier. "You could spend the entire day outside and come back weaker than when you left."
I hated that he had a point.
I hated it even more when Zhenlan’s expression shifted like Chenghai had just proven the argument he’d been trying to make from the beginning.
The two of them exchanging reasonable looks in my bedroom was not something I intended to encourage.
"I’ll figure it out," I replied. Was I aware that I sounded like a sulking 16 year old and not the fully grown adult that I was? Yes. And I hated it. But just because I didn’t have all the answers didn’t mean that I could afford to wait until I did.
The zombies were getting stronger, and I was stagnant. It would have been fine if the guys were strong enough to protect our house and home, but they weren’t.
Yeah, there were a bunch of holes in my ’just stay at home’ plan. But it was too late now to regret it.
Lingyun pushed away from the wall and shook his head, finally deciding to join the conversation after letting everyone else do the hard work.
"If she can’t find enough green cores," he announced while checking his fingernails like he wasn’t about to just cause my world to explode, "she can always go to the black market and trade for some."