Chapter 415: What We Want
"Then what do you want?"
Rouxi’s question remained between them while Zhenlan tried to find an answer that didn’t sound like another plan.
He had spent years turning every desire into something practical. Wanting people safe became stronger walls. Wanting control became patrols and radios. Wanting Rouxi protected became maps, supplies, and buildings she had never asked him to create.
He didn’t want to answer her with another list.
Across the room, Chenghai looked equally unwilling to speak first. He stood close to Rouxi with his hands empty for once. There was no radio clipped to his belt, no notebook waiting nearby, and no problem outside the mansion pulling at his attention.
Lingyun watched them from the couch with open amusement. "This is painful."
Rouxi glanced toward him. "No one asked you."
"You asked them what they wanted, and now they’re both staring at you like the answer is complicated."
"It might be."
"It isn’t."
Lingyun shifted to sit higher against the cushions and immediately pressed a hand to his ribs. The pain didn’t stop him from smiling at Zhenlan. "They want you. They’re just trying to find a way to say it that sounds like a military report."
Chenghai’s jaw tightened. "You’re supposed to be resting. Not talking"
"I am resting. I’m also helping. I can do two things at once."
"You aren’t helping," sighed Chenghai.
Yuche set his tea on the table. "He is."
Everyone looked at him.
Yuche appeared unconcerned by the attention. "Rouxi has never made the first move with any of us."
Rouxi folded her arms. "I’ve made moves."
"No," Yuche said with a slight scoff. "You really haven’t."
"I’ve moved toward people."
"Usually because you were trying to reach food."
"That still counts."
Lingyun grinned. "You pulled me into bed once."
"You were blocking the blankets."
"And yet, I ended up under them."
Rouxi looked as though she regretted allowing the conversation to continue, but Zhenlan understood what Yuche was telling him.
Rouxi wasn’t going to cross the room and ask him to kiss her. She wasn’t going to confess that she had noticed him or explain what she wanted from him. She had already leaned into his warmth during the fight, left her hand in his hair on the couch, and asked why he seemed ready to leave when all he had done was stand too far away.
Those were her moves.
Waiting for something clearer was cowardice disguised as patience.
Finally understanding what needed to happen, Zhenlan stepped closer.
Rouxi’s attention returned to him immediately. She didn’t retreat, although her eyes narrowed when he entered the space she usually guarded so carefully.
"What?" she asked.
He reached for her wrist.
Rouxi looked down as his fingers closed around it, then back at his face. "You’ve all become very comfortable grabbing me lately."
"You keep trying to walk away."
"I wasn’t walking anywhere."
"Good."
He turned her hand over and pressed his thumb into the center of her palm. Her fingers twitched against his, but she didn’t pull free.
Zhenlan had touched her countless times during fights. He had caught her when her ankle failed, lifted her over bodies, checked her injuries, and steadied her when the Devourer’s tether dragged at her awareness.
This was different because he didn’t have a reason.
He only wanted to touch her.
Rouxi seemed to recognize the difference at the same time. Her expression became suspicious, but the faint tension in her shoulders eased instead of tightening.
"You still haven’t answered me," she reminded him.
Zhenlan didn’t release her hand. "I want this house to stay yours."
"That sounds suspiciously responsible."
"It isn’t the whole answer."
Lingyun leaned toward Yuche and whispered loudly, "He’s getting there."
Rouxi threw a cushion at him without looking. Lingyun caught it against his chest, grunted when it struck his ribs, and then blamed the cushion.
Zhenlan waited until her attention returned to him. "I don’t want another compound. I don’t want more people looking to me for every decision, and I don’t want to spend this life preparing for the one we already lived."
Her gaze searched his face. "Then what do you want to do?"
"Stay here."
"With nothing to manage?"
"With you."
The words were simpler than every answer he had rejected, and they were also more honest.
Rouxi’s fingers curled slightly around his thumb.
Chenghai moved closer on her other side. He didn’t crowd her, but he stopped leaving space large enough to pretend he was only part of the conversation.
Rouxi glanced toward him. "And you?"
Chenghai looked at the empty cabinet before answering. "I don’t miss the radios."
"They’ve been gone for less than a day."
"I still don’t miss them."
"That’s not an answer either."
His mouth moved in the beginning of a smile. "I want to sit down without listening for someone else’s emergency."
Rouxi waited.
Chenghai reached for her free hand and took it before she could make a joke. His grip was careful despite the size of it, his fingers closing around hers with the same certainty he used when holding a weapon.
"I want to stop thinking about what everyone will need tomorrow," he continued. "I want to pay attention to what’s already in front of me."
Rouxi looked down at their joined hands.
"You two are acting strange."
Lingyun hugged the cushion against his chest. "They’re flirting."
"No one asked you," all three of them said.
Lingyun looked delighted.
Yuche leaned back against the couch, content to watch while Zhenlan and Chenghai finally stopped hiding behind the jobs they had created for themselves.
Rouxi tried to pull one hand free, probably because being held by both men at once had become too noticeable. Chenghai loosened his fingers, but Zhenlan didn’t.
Her eyes lifted to his.
"I’m not finished," he said.
"With what?"
Zhenlan drew her one step closer. His free hand settled at her waist, and he felt the small breath she took when his palm pressed against her side.
The movement brought her close enough that he could see the faint colour rising beneath the blood she hadn’t completely washed from her neck.
Rouxi didn’t move away.
"You asked what I want," he said. "I’m done answering that question with walls."
Her gaze dropped briefly to his mouth before snapping back to his eyes. "What are you answering it with?"
"Something you’ll understand."
Lingyun made an interested sound from the couch, but Yuche placed one hand over his mouth before he could interrupt again.
Zhenlan released Rouxi’s wrist only to run his fingers slowly along the inside of her arm. She followed the movement with her eyes, then looked up at him with a wariness that didn’t hide her curiosity.
He wanted to kiss her.
He could have done it then, in the living room with Chenghai standing beside her and the other men watching from the couch. Rouxi wouldn’t have stopped him. He knew that with the same certainty he felt before a storm broke.
But after waiting this long, he didn’t want his first real move to be squeezed between an empty cabinet and Lingyun’s commentary.
"Be ready after dinner," Zhenlan said.
Rouxi’s eyes narrowed again. "For what?"
"I’m taking you somewhere."
"Is that a request?"
"No."
The answer startled a small smile out of her before she managed to hide it.
Zhenlan let his hand leave her waist and stepped back, although every part of him resisted creating the distance again.
Rouxi watched him for several seconds. "What am I supposed to wear?"
"Whatever you want."
"That isn’t helpful."
"You’ll complain no matter what I say."
"That’s probably true."
She looked toward Chenghai, as though expecting him to explain what Zhenlan was planning. Chenghai only lifted her hand and pressed his thumb across her knuckles before releasing it.
He didn’t know either.
That was the point.
For once, Zhenlan hadn’t planned around workers, supplies, or a future disaster.
He had planned something for Rouxi.