Ascendance of a Bookworm

I can't help but miss my downtown family because of the memory that connected me at once and because I was in tune with Ferdinand. Although I'm not sure what the hell is going on with Ferdinand, it's very unusual for me to gush, so I'll take a ride and turn my hand around my back too. As soon as that happened, Ferdinand left Ba as a vick.

"What are you going to do?

I hope you don't say it with such a disgusting face. Mostly, I think that's this line. May I ask who the hell has been holding me at the same time as my awakening? I thought so for a moment, but if I say anything extra, it just doesn't matter. The contention just starts, and I have no winning eye at all right now when my head doesn't move.

"I think it's a bad idea to calm down only Master Ferdinand, so I demand an extension until I calm down."

"... an extension?

"My memories connected once and for all in tune, so it's a mess in my head and emotionally."

As a result of stopping asking and stating my request, I earned the Gyu extension from Ferdinand, who looked so disgusted. I finally could afford to look around here and still find myself in between the foundations and being held in a Ferdinand sitting on one knee. My body doesn't feel cold because of reason.

"Hey..."

He twisted his body slightly to make it easy to gush and turned his hand around Ferdinand's back. Although I am comfortable with the smell I am used to and the warmth of people, Ferdinand beats very fast and I feel like I have no heart or breathe shallow.

"... you'll settle down within what you're doing"

"I am utterly restless"

Sensing signs that I was about to be stripped with a sighing voice, I hurriedly cling to the hand I turned on my back.

"I'm not comfortable because Master Ferdinand still doesn't have enough gu, I'm sure. You can fill it up."

"That's not what I meant"

Ferdinand put his strength into one arm that was turned around on my back and began to mess with my hair with the other, as you said in a tired voice that seemed troublesome. Definitely not honest enough for you.

"So what's the point and you've been gushing from Master Ferdinand?

"... that was... suddenly out of tune and you didn't wake up at all no matter how many calls you made. It's your fault"

That's what they said in a really disgusting voice. Ferdinand didn't seem to mind that this time he was going up the stairs leading to much higher heights.

"... me, was it in such a dangerous state?

"I've been walking all these days in my life and death, and I really don't understand how you can talk so much about swallowing things."

He was dead at a time when his magic powers became normal under the influence of the Gods' power. I have to reduce my magic, but I can't even use my healing pills, and there was always a danger that either my strength or my magic would run out first. Besides that, if I hadn't dyed my magic at the same time as depletion to restore my magic as quickly as possible, I would have more than likely died of magic depletion this time. Whenever and wherever you die these past few days, it's not weird.

"I know that. Because I was afraid to sleep and my magic would recover. But I wasn't even so pessimistic because I thought Master Ferdinand would do something about it..."

I was relatively optimistic that I would manage if I even depleted my magic powers, but Ferdinand, who was entrusted with the aftermath, seemed to have had a hard time.

"You didn't quite react, even though your magic was depleted or not, you drugged me with the same medicine that liquefied my magic, and you poured magic into your consciousness using more magic tools to peek into your memories. Besides, it's hard to remember, and if you think the thread is finally grabbing you, you're suddenly out of tune at the same time that all attribute blessings are pouring down."

Ferdinand also regained consciousness as to what the hell had happened, but I was unresponsive without consciousness, having cut the tone earlier, he said. From the memory of the blessings of all the attributes, he said, he was in a desperate mood to see if there had been any reaction to the power of the gods that remained slightly in me.

Listening to the Ferdinand side like that, "I thought Master Ferdinand was broken because his memory began to connect at once with the prayers of all the attributes and he was embraced at the same time he noticed" is a bit hard to say.

"Thanks to Master Ferdinand, my memory is back. You don't have to worry anymore."

Ferdinand's heartbeat doesn't calm down a bit, even though he says so with a tongue and a gentle slap on his back. The fingers that were moving to play with my hair stopped, and the arms that hug me caged with more strength. It's starting to hurt because it's comfortable. I look up to Ferdinand worried that something was wrong.

"Dear Ferdinand, what's wrong?

"Rosemaine, are you..."

The plundered voices are interrupted and I can't hear them afterwards. I said, "What is it?" Hearing back, Ferdinand, who had seeped the color of hesitation for a while, loosened his arms and let go of his body a little.

"Do you want to go back to being a civilian?

"Yes?"

I do not know what Ferdinand has suddenly mentioned, and I blink my eyes and lean my neck.

"Now that the magic of the gods has dried up, maybe we can make it look like you've risen to much higher heights and return you to the civilian population"

Dodgy. In tune, I wanted to jump with a proposal that was so fascinating to me now that my memories of my civilian years were coming back to life in color. But I am also well aware that it is impossible for me to return to the civilian population.

"... Um, Master Ferdinand. Could that be a life sentence? We only have a few moments before we die, so just in the meantime it feels familiar..."

"It's not. I understand that by being in tune, the most important thing for you would be Rutz? I thought if I could bring you back to the civilian population, I'd be able to accompany you with someone I care about."

... Dear Ferdinand, are you serious?

My throat is tingling and my heartbeat is quicker. It's getting shallow to my breathing.

"What exactly are you going to do about returning it to the civilian population? Me, Mine is already supposed to be dead!? Even Alexandria's foundations and library city plans..."

"You will be Aub Alexandria once at the Lords' Conference, and I will be the official fiancée. Externally, it seems that I could be formatted so that I could be Aub Alexandria, and on top of that, I would be relatively sure that I could return to the civilian population if the impossibility just happened here for a while and you died. The basics, the library, the city plan, I'll do it."

If you go back as a civilian in Alexandria as the Gutenbergs travel, you're basically the ones who know what's going on. It's not that hard to keep your mouth shut, it'll make you cooperative, Ferdinand said.

"It's impossible at Aerenfest, but if I become Aub Alexandria, it might be possible to protect your family."

What floats behind my brain with the expectation that I may be able to return to my family is the appearance of Ferdinand, who continues to fight alone as Aub to protect my family. I can quickly see what happens to this guy who holds all the blame on himself without showing weakness to anyone.

My chest hurts. I hold my own chest. I don't know what my chest hurts against.

"Master Ferdinand doesn't have to carry a guilt or responsibility towards me, does he? Because you've given me back enough."

"... isn't your happiness with that family? I just came up with it in tune earlier, so I have to think a lot about the details, but it would be worth a thought."

There's no way Ferdinand would say anything that's not feasible at all. Thinking about it from what I was showing hesitation would mean that it is difficult but not at all impracticable.

In my head, I said, "Master Ferdinand says we can go back, so we just have to go back!" and I want to go back to my family. I scream, "Are you going to let Master Ferdinand carry it all!? I don't want to be so irresponsible!" and I who have ever lived as a nobleman bump into each other in my heart.

"Master Ferdinand is right. I wanted to be with my family at all, and I wish I could still be with them.... but just as much, I want Master Ferdinand to be happy. I do not intend to sacrifice Master Ferdinand to bring me back to the civilian population."

When I glanced at Ferdinand with a kick, Ferdinand erased his expression and shook his neck loosely beside him.

"If your memories are all connected, your demon stone phobia may be back. It's even difficult to live as a nobleman if you can't handle demonic stones. Aub would be miserable. Probably the magic is about the same. I'm going to do the conditioning as Aub. All you can do is decorate Aub. It's no different with or without you."

Ferdinand's words are mostly correct, but some are not. Because the incarnation of the goddess was to be Aub and cleansed, Ahrensbach was allowed to be reborn as a new territory from a rebellious territory. If I am not Aub, how will Alexandria be treated from the nobles of other lands? Ferdinand can't possibly not figure that out.

"No matter how useless or decorative Aub is, you need the title of incarnate goddess, right? How far are you going to carry the burden of bringing me back to the civilian population? You think I'm so stupid and irresponsible that I don't realize it?

"... I don't think you're stupid and irresponsible, but you should be with your family. It's the only time, isn't it?

That's why I'm not going to sacrifice Ferdinand. If Ferdinand was an ambitious man who wanted the status and power of Zent and Aub, and had no hesitation whatsoever in getting to the First Lady, or even the Third Lady, to stabilize Alexandria, and at the end of the day he wanted to surround himself to his mistress, I would have returned to my family without any worries.

"Master Ferdinand will be too worried to be able to go back! I'm not good at relying on other people, and I can't wait to die of overwork every day when I'm drugged with all my own work."

"But if we don't make up our minds here and back to the civilian population now, there will be no more buds for you to accompany Lutz and you will marry me."

To Ferdinand, who said so with his face in his face, I have been cut off from my previous momentum. Why is the story of wanting to go home to my family talking about accompanying Lutz?

... Is that it? Anything off?

"Um, Master Ferdinand. When the hell did you get married? There's no way Lutz can marry me when I get back to the civilian population. I, among the nobles, may be quite a daughter-in-law candidate because of their magic and status, but from a civilian point of view, they are totally out of the daughter-in-law candidate at a time when they are unhealthy and their children don't want them."

In aristocracy and civilians, what you ask of your wife is completely different. I've never wanted to marry Rutz, although I'd like to go home to my family. Lutz is the important person who connected me here, but as a married person, I think I deserve more other girls. I'm pathetic with them.

By the way, I don't like socializing or embroidering, I think maybe I don't even meet my daughter-in-law's standards as a nobleman. If it's not a political marriage, there's no such thing as a stranger coming to me.

"Nevertheless, what does it mean to be married to Master Ferdinand? Don't you just have to marry me if you don't want to"

Aub's marriage is up to Aub himself to decide who to deal with and get Zent's approval. There is no need for Ferdinand to marry me with such a disgusting face.

"... right. If you don't want to, you don't have to get married."

Ferdinand lays down his eyes for the first time and exhales slowly. Then I put up three fingers.

"Rosemaine, you have three options right now. The first returns to the civilian population and marries whomever he wants. The second one goes as planned and marries me. The third orders Master Eglantine to dissolve his royal life, to destroy his engagement to me, and to engage other men who deserve Aub Alexandria.... Which option do you choose?

... Yes?

All of a sudden I turned my eyes round to the choices poked at me.

"Dear Ferdinand, I'm very sorry, but I'm not sure what that means. Doesn't the way Master Ferdinand put it, it's like me and Master Ferdinand are already engaged? When the hell was I engaged?

"By the time you got the foundation of Earlensbach?

"To?"

To me as Pocan, Ferdinand explains the contents of the royal decree which was sent down to Traokvar. At the time I gained the foundation of Ahrensbach, I became Aub, a single woman who was not young enough to be in office, and I must son-in-law Ferdinand as fiancée of the royal decree, apparently.

"No one said a word about that..."

"It's not like I'm going out of my way to say in the middle of a battle, and when the series of battles was over, it would have been in better shape not to inadvertently shake your emotions with the power of the goddess"

"Ah...... So the attitude of the neighbors has changed."

When I approached him, he was complaining, but it was strange that the neighbors suddenly stopped saying anything, but the mystery was solved. Ferdinand sighed softly as he looked at me pounding his hand.

"Because you said at Aerenfest that I was the ideal match for a political marriage, the closest people started to move like that. Your far-fetched words and actions are not the cause of it all."

"Yeah!?

I didn't know that was happening.

"You were about to make a big deal out of me for being a detour. Master Ferdinand has a strong sense of responsibility, but you don't have to take care of me that much. Therefore, the dissolution of the royal life…"

"Rosemaine, don't get me wrong. That's what I wanted and planned."

I don't know what Ferdinand has mentioned and I look at Ferdinand. What was the plan?

"I have always watched you interact with a family that cares about a thin connection even when you leave as a nobleman and a civilian, trying to take the hand you have extended. That's what you said about me as family. And, as I said, he was reaching out to me, even away to Arlensbach, without interrupting the connection. You're the one who made my family view. Would you have known if you didn't like it in tune? How thirsty I was for your family-like connection."

I snorted. Ferdinand showed me his longing and envy for his family. Then it was filled with regret and bitterness that set us apart.

"I might not have felt it if I had stayed at Aerenfest. If I had kept the thin connection between you and your family, I would have been satisfied with it. But when I leave Aerenfest, my connection to you is cut off with my surrounding voice. I didn't want to lose my connection to you. … so it was most efficient and feasible to use the engagement of the King's life to get you"

Then Ferdinand's hand strokes my cheek. My spine trembled.

"I dropped Lady Traokvar, who gave the royal life, from the status of Zent, so my plan cannot be disturbed even by the person who already gave the royal life. I'm threatening not to do anything extra unless New Zent has orders from you."

"Threaten... Dear Ferdinand"

Ferdinand's fingertips, who was stroking his cheeks, held my lips to seal my words. Much less powerful. I'm just touching it a little bit. Still, the objections were completely prevented, and I'm kind of hesitant to breathe.

"I did everything in my power to keep you from disputing your surroundings as your companion who became the incarnation of the goddess. Because I didn't want to give your real family position to another man."

Gokuri and his throat rang. I feel the heat in Ferdinand's eyes and I'm getting scared. I can't give the same thing back even if I'm turned on the heat like that. I'm getting restless and I want to get out of here right now. But the hand on my back will not forgive it.

"The only person who can break my plan is you in the name of the new Zent, Rosemaine. Will returning to the civilian population make you happy with your family? [M] Will you accept my engagement as it is and make me your family? [M] Or do you order the new Zent to lay down his royal life?... you choose."

I can't take my eyes off Ferdinand's thin golden eyes, which are still asking for my reaction, and I'm stuck breathing. Even if they say that and force me to make a choice, I'm in trouble. Throughout this period, I cannot understand what love feels like. I know that Ferdinand wants me. But I can't return just the same emotions.

"... what do we do, Rosemaine?

After a period of silence, Ferdinand lay down his eyes for the first time, urging him to answer.

Exhale gently and raise your gaze. The next time my gaze met, I gave up what was in my light golden eyes. The hand that was on his back is lowered, and the hand that was touching his lips goes away. I'm used to my hopes not being fulfilled. Above all, I shook my head sideways in the motion of my hand, which speaks of it eloquently, and in my eyes, which seemed to give up everything.

...... no.

I can't understand romantic feelings, but I couldn't just tolerate leaving like this. I do not want to see Ferdinand give up, who rarely speaks of his wishes, and I reach out to Ferdinand. I hugged it from myself.

"Rosemaine, what..."

"What's going on this time of year, but I, I don't know about romantic feelings between men and women!

"... I don't think it's what you say while you hug a man, but I know"

Ferdinand's voice crossed with a shudder and his body lost a little strength.

"All I want is to be your family, and I don't expect anything from you right now. If it's the same as before, it's fine."

"... is it really as good as before?

"I don't mind."

You even lose the same position as the family you get, and other men gain feelings as real families. Ferdinand shrugs that it's just uncomfortable. Ferdinand's hand touched the rainbow demon stone hair ornament inserted into my hair. They tell me I'm not looking for romantic feelings, and my powers fall out of my body, too.

"Wow, me, I'm going to try as hard as I can because Demon Stone Phobia is likely to return, but I'll pack it both as an Aub and as a companion. Is that all right with you?

"If you choose to return to the civilian population, even the decorative Aub will be gone. You're the one who won't make it back to the civilian population if you miss this opportunity."

"You want to go home to your family, but you don't think I can live a civilian life, do you? I couldn't get one water pump, so it will be a lot of luggage. … If Ferdinand sometimes prepares a place to behave as a family, that's fine."

Ferdinand's arm was turned again on his back. I can hold him tight as he is.

"... can you pick me, Rosemaine?

"That word, I'll give it back exactly as it is. Dear Ferdinand, don't regret it."