Chapter 179: Goals, independence, pride.
{Exactly. That's her limit.}
"Do you think she can break through it? Su Yeon did."
{The two of them have completely different problems, meow. Su Yeon had rich, abundant emotions trapped behind a shell that was too hard to break. Priya's different. She's been hiding something she already knows about herself.}
"Something she knows... about herself?"
{In a way, her problem might be simpler. But even if she overcomes it... her emotions still won't be very rich. She's spent her whole life suppressing them...}
Miho's explanation was cryptic.
Apparently, she could see something Yu Myeong couldn't.
She didn't explain the details, but she clearly knew more.
"Then... did Director Kyler Unshaw see her true nature?"
{Maybe. Either way, she wouldn't be the kind of actor he'd be drawn to. Her darkness is deep... but it isn't colorful.}
"So in the original timeline... he only worked with her because she won?"
{Probably. If she ever accepts her own darkness and gradually learns to express her emotions honestly, she might become someone different one day...}
A knock interrupted them.
Knock, knock.
"Come in."
"Um... would it be okay if we practiced together?"
It was Priya.
With an apologetic expression, she asked if they could focus on the areas where she was weakest.
Yu Myeong agreed without hesitation.
She's got determination.
Unfortunately, determination alone wasn't enough.
After two hours of practice, both of them collapsed onto the floor, gasping for breath.
"Haa... haa..."
"I'm sorry. I ended up wasting your time because of me..."
"No, it's fine. We're on the same team. It's a little warm in here. Want to take a short walk?"
Yu Myeong led Priya outside.
There was something he wanted to ask her where no cameras could see them.
They chatted casually for a while.
When her tension seemed to ease a little, he carefully broached the subject.
"Priya."
"Yes?"
"Do you... know that you're a sleepwalker?"
He had wanted to pretend he hadn't seen anything.
But he couldn't.
After looking into it, he'd learned that sleepwalkers sometimes unknowingly put themselves in dangerous situations.
The night before, she'd been using a utility knife to cut paper.
She froze.
It looked as though her heart had stopped.
So she had known.
"...Did it happen here too?"
"I came downstairs for some water last night and heard a strange noise..."
Yu Myeong explained everything.
How she'd walked right past him without reacting.
How she'd been cutting up a newspaper.
How the article had been about Priya herself.
As she listened, Priya anxiously searched his face.
Yu Myeong met her eyes calmly.
"I won't tell anyone. But you should get treatment as soon as possible."
"I'll see a doctor tomorrow."
"Good."
His promise visibly eased her.
After hesitating for a moment, she reached out and tugged gently on the sleeve of his shirt just as he turned back toward the residence.
"Um... could I ask you for some advice?"
Even after stopping him, Priya couldn't bring herself to speak.
Eventually, Yu Myeong decided to help her along.
"Priya."
"...Yes."
"The expression Hugo wanted... you can already make it."
"...?!"
"Last night, when you threw away those shredded newspapers... I saw that expression on your face."
The color drained from her face.
"As an actor... it was an expression worthy of admiration."
At Yu Myeong's sincere praise, the smile she always wore began to waver.
Maybe... he'll know the answer.
That was what Priya found herself thinking.
"Beautiful thoughts. Good intentions. A philanthropic spirit devoted to making the world better."
Those words sounded like the motto of some prestigious academy.
They were, in fact, the "Hartroit Spirit"—a creed Priya had heard so often growing up that it had become etched into her mind.
A father overflowing with conviction.
A gentle, beautiful mother who never lost her temper.
Older brothers and sisters who were flawless in every way.
She had grown up in wealth.
As the youngest child, she had been showered with affection.
The problem...
Had always been Priya herself.
"Our house has something much better than that!"
One day, a friend proudly showed off a new toy.
Like any child, Priya had proudly boasted about what she had in return.
That evening, the nanny relayed her words to her parents.
She was gently lectured for hours.
"Boasting about what you have is petty."
"If you're a member of the Hartroit family, you must cultivate beautiful thoughts and noble character."
She thought it was unfair.
She protested that her friend had started bragging first.
Her parents told her that wasn't what mattered.
"Other people's actions don't matter. What matters is that your own actions are righteous and beautiful."
There had been something in their expressions...
A faint look that suggested they could never understand her.
Perhaps even a trace of disgust.
It made her flinch.
As she grew older, she occasionally felt ugly impulses.
Because she'd been conditioned over and over again to be "worthy of the Hartroit name," whenever she wanted to smash something in anger...
Whenever she felt the urge to steal some insignificant object...
Whenever she desperately wanted to cover the mouths of her family, who constantly preached beauty, and sew them shut...
She was overwhelmed with guilt.
I'm defective.
No one can ever find out.
The stronger those boiling impulses became...
The kinder her smile grew.
It was desperate acting.
Her entire family adored her.
"That's our Hartroit."
They loved her all the more.
"I want to become an actor."
At fifteen, she found herself irresistibly drawn toward acting and announced that she intended to pursue it.
Fortunately, acting did not conflict with the Hartroit Spirit.
Seeing the warmth in her family's eyes as they sincerely wished for her success...
She fell into despair.
They're genuinely wonderful people.
I love them.
I just... can't love myself.
One day, she began sleepwalking.
Her family was deeply concerned.
They summoned her personal physician.
But no one ever tried to understand where her stress truly came from.
This latest relapse had probably been triggered by the revelation that she was a Hartroit.
She had wanted to walk this path on her own, without relying on her family's name.
Instead, circumstances had thrust her into the spotlight as one of the strongest contenders to win.
Every time she saw another article with her face on it...
Every time she watched fellow contestants whose performances were so brilliant that she felt ashamed to be called a favorite...
The pressure only grew heavier.
"...That's what happened..."
As Priya exposed the ugliest part of herself to another person, her body trembled.
It was the first time she had ever spoken her darkness aloud.
Yu Myeong was a colleague whose breathtaking acting never made him arrogant or intoxicated with praise.
Someone she trusted.
Someone who had promised first that he would tell no one.
And...
The first person who had seen her hideous expression...
...and called it beautiful.
Yu Myeong listened quietly until she had finished.
Then he spoke.
"Will you watch me act tomorrow?"
"...?"
"After that... let's talk again."
Priya nodded.
Yu Myeong stayed up all night.
The performance was still seven days away.
He didn't actually need to push himself this hard yet.
But for Priya...
Every day mattered.
Even if watching him allowed her to realize something...
She would still need time to practice.
After finishing his overnight rehearsal, Yu Myeong entered the practice room.
"You look exhausted. Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine."
Once they finished the warmups, Yu Myeong spoke before Hugo could assign the next exercise.
"Director."
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry, but... could we rehearse Act Three first?"
"Act Three? We haven't even blocked it together yet."
"I practiced it on my own. Marta and Priya only need to read the dialogue."
Hugo narrowed his eyes.
Is he trying to show off because rehearsal went well?
No... that's not the kind of person he is.
He has a reason.
His gaze shifted briefly toward the other two actors.
Priya's usual smile was gone.
Is this about her?
"Very well."
"Let's see it."
The structure of Hugo's fifteen minute play was simple.
Act One.
An Angel who grants the first human, Pandora, bright and joyful emotions.
A Devil who grants her darkness and evil.
Act Two.
Pandora is given a jar.
The Angel begs her not to open it.
The Devil urges her to do so.
Pandora opens the jar.
Not because curiosity overcomes her.
Because she chooses to.
Then...
Act Three began.
Before stepping into the scene, Yu Myeong glanced meaningfully at Priya.
Watch carefully.
He crossed the stage.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Each time he spun around...
Pandora grew older.
Impossible...
Hugo's eyes gleamed brighter and brighter.
Every time Yu Myeong turned, his face disappeared for only an instant.
When it emerged again...
It belonged to someone older.
Pandora aged from his twenties into his thirties...
His forties...
His fifties...
His body slowly withered.
At times, incomparable joy filled his face.
At others, unbearable misery consumed it.
Then illness came.
Watching him weave countless emotions together until they became an entire human life...
Priya felt as though she'd been struck.
Wasn't this...
...the reason I'd fallen in love with acting in the first place?
To become someone capable of expressing joy...
Sorrow...
Hatred...
Misery...
Everything.
Her heart pounded.
Thump.
Thump.
The next scene.
The Angel arrives before Pandora as death approaches.
Still staring at Yu Myeong, Priya spoke her lines in a trembling voice.
"See? I told you not to open the jar. No... you never should have accepted those dark emotions from the Devil in the first place. You regret it now, don't you?"
Even on the verge of death...
Pandora answered in a clear voice.
"No."
There was a quiet dignity in his voice.
The voice of someone who had chosen his own life.
The Angel—
No.
Priya herself felt a chill race down her spine.
"Because humanity knew suffering and illness, we never stopped seeking truth in order to overcome them. The ability to lie gave birth to countless acts of hypocrisy... but that same hypocrisy also protected the weak."
He spoke of the good born from evil.
"Jealousy and hatred are emotions that turn against others... yet they can also become the driving force that pushes us to better ourselves."
To humanity...
Evil was not separate from goodness.
It had been given equal weight as part of human nature itself.
"And because death exists... we have never stopped contemplating the essence of existence."
Depending on how it was mastered...
It became something that allowed humanity to grow.
"And curiosity.
No other living creature possesses this trait.
It is what allows humanity to approach the divine."
Because human beings chose their own destiny...
They became beings capable of approaching the gods themselves.
The first human...
Pandora...
Looked quietly into the Angel's eyes.
I chose to become an unhappy god... rather than a happy beast.
What will you choose?
The question was directed...
Not at the Angel.
But at Priya Hartroit.
Priya shivered the rest of the day as though she had come down with a fever.
She barely remembered how rehearsal ended.
Afterward, Yu Myeong called her over.
Her heart pounded with equal parts anticipation and dread.
"You watched carefully?"
"...Yes. I can still see it vividly."
Yu Myeong looked directly at her.
"Priya."
"...Yes."
"Your family taught you the wrong values."
Her heart lurched.
She should have protested.
She should have defended her family.
Yet no words came.
Instead...
Her heart desperately wished he was right.
"I have proof."
"...Proof?"
"When you said you wanted to become an actor... and when you told them you wanted to enter this audition without revealing you were a Hartroit... what did your family say?"
"They told me it was wonderful that I'd found something I wanted to do. They said wanting to become independent was very worthy of the Hartroit name, and they supported me."
"I see."
He paused.
Then asked quietly,
"Goals... independence... pride."
"Do those come from the bright side of human nature..."
"...or the dark side?"
It was a question...
Perfectly worthy of Pandora.