Chapter 47 - 41: The Last Song for Myself
"My wife reminded me to fix the sewing machine’s pedal."
"Tomorrow, I’ll have to go borrow more money from the neighbors."
"The kid’s been crying all day, fussing for cookies."
"This blue polyester work shirt, a pain that pierces my heart."
...
His voice was simple and restrained, yet like a gentle knife, it slowly sliced open the softest parts of the audience’s hearts.
As the lyrics progressed, time flowed and scenes shifted. A touch of weathered experience entered Chen Lin’s voice—an emotion born from empathy, drawn from the lyrics and his own imagination.
"In nineteen ninety-four, the harvest was long over."
"My old mother passed away last year."
"My son ran into the schoolyard in a white shirt."
"But he’s seemed troubled lately, and he’s lost a lot of weight."
"I think about the future, when I’m old and nothing but a pile of joss paper."
"By then, my son will be a real man."
"A lovely girl will have made a home with him."
"I just hope they don’t have to live such a hard life."
...
By the end of the song, a faint, almost unnoticeable rasp had entered Chen Lin’s voice.
"This is what his life left behind."
"The prose poem it left behind."
"Years later, I look back and the tears won’t stop."
"But my father, in the wind, is like an old newspaper."
"These are the footprints that generation left behind."
"A few storms, and the traces will be washed away."
"This land once made me weep endlessly."
"It has buried the heartbreaking stories of so many souls."
When the song concluded, the accompaniment gradually faded away.
A brief silence fell over the audience, followed by a burst of thunderous applause and cheers.
Chen Lin opened his eyes and saw several customers secretly wiping away tears. The young man who had first come up to request a song was covering his face, his shoulders shaking violently as he sobbed uncontrollably.
His friend reached out and gently patted his back, offering silent comfort.
After the first song, the atmosphere in the bar began to heat up.
Soon, a second young man raised his hand. He looked quite a bit younger than the first, with the greenness of a student still in his features.
Sure enough, after he got on stage, he began his story. "I... My girlfriend and I had been together since high school, for seven years. Last year, she went abroad as an exchange student, then got accepted into a direct-entry Ph.D. program and stayed in the United States. I also applied to grad schools abroad, but the best offer I got was from the United Kingdom. And then... she broke up with me."
The young man’s voice was heavy. "Not long after we broke up, I heard from a friend that she was with a guy she’d met while studying in the United States."
He gave a bitter smile, as if trying to swallow all his resentment and pain. "I’d like to request a song. Let’s just call it a clean break from this relationship. I want to start a new life."
Chen Lin looked at him and nodded.
He might not have personally experienced this kind of youthful growing pain, but he’d certainly seen it happen often enough.
He closed his eyes, recalling the angsty young adult novels he’d read in middle school and the various fabricated, heart-wrenching love stories he’d scrolled through on a certain Q&A site. He tried to find a point of emotional resonance, a feeling he could pour into his song.
"A song for you, ’Guests’."
A gentle, slightly melancholic piano intro began, and Chen Lin’s voice followed—clean, yet tinged with a self-deprecating helplessness.
"How many winters since we broke up?"
"What day is it today?"
"Sometimes, I still think of you."
"Your sudden text message..."
"...caught me completely off guard."
"Frozen, I stood right where I was."
"While everyone was happy for you,"
"I was the fool who only just realized..."
"...that someone had already ordered a wedding gown for you."
...
The emotion built, layer upon layer, revealing the heartbreak hidden beneath a facade of strength.
"Thank you for the special invitation,"
"To come and witness your love."
"I keep reminding myself not to run away."
"You look exceptionally beautiful today."
"A beauty I once held in my arms."
"It’s just a shame this is your wedding with him,"
"And I am just one of the Guests."
"I’m letting go of all our memories,"
"To grant your love its happy ending."
"But I still can’t believe this is fate."
"The ’forever’ we promised has turned into ’what used to be’."
"I’m trying to wish you the best, sincerely."
"Please forgive me for being so undignified and pathetic,"
"For choosing to excuse myself and leave early."
...
Finally, there was release, and a final farewell.
Chen Lin’s voice was filled with blessing, but also with resolution.
"I’ve wrung dry all my memories,"
"To celebrate your wedding."
"But I still don’t have the courage to wish you happiness."
"Thank you for this final, sobering moment."
"For giving me back to myself."
"At least I can still be the one,"
"The guest who witnesses your love."
"He’s so lucky to have met you."
"I just hope he’ll love you more than I did."
As the song ended, another wave of applause and cheers swept through the bar.
Chen Lin saw that several of the younger men and women in the audience had cried their eyes out, the song having clearly stirred up some unforgettable memories.
But the young man who had requested the song wasn’t crying, though his eyes were red.
Chen Lin’s vision, tripled by the power of Little Champion, caught him looking down, his finger swiping across his phone screen. Then, as if he’d made up his mind, he tapped it firmly a few times.
’He probably deleted those photos of them he’d treasured for so long,’ Chen Lin guessed.
The third person to come on stage was a young woman. She didn’t look very old, like a college student, but she was dressed fashionably, wearing delicate, light makeup and carrying herself with a striking air.
"Hi, everyone," she said, her voice clear and bright. "I’ve been studying in the United States since I was an undergrad. This is my third year. I’ll probably apply for a master’s program after I graduate... After being abroad for so long, I’ve gotten really homesick. I miss the place where I grew up, and I miss my family and friends. I hope I can come back soon after I finish my studies."