In the mountains where no one is, I am.
Katie told me.
Then I... I don't know how I did it myself, but I left Mr. Katie as if there was nothing on the surface.
I don't even remember what I talked about.
I, on my own, wrote heartless letters on paper.
Content is, what I've done. And what I will do in the future.
I could write it off surprisingly calmly, like I locked the emotional door tightly.
I don't even remember what I wrote.
There was only one more person I could entrust to.
"Emmy......? What's the matter...?
When I looked, Janet was at the potion sales office.
Magic potion, Janet uses it frequently. Now both attack and healing magic, because Janet uses them the most.
Honestly, as much as I wonder if it's too much work.
But I couldn't afford to think about that right now.
Pass Janet the folded paper silently.
"Read this, where no one can see it"
From his own mouth, a voice leaks so emotionally unfeeling that he doesn't think he is.
"Hey, really, what..."
"After reading it, burn it. I don't think Janet would have to tell you that."
Really, I wonder who's even talking out of this mouth right now. Is it really me?
"Hey, hey...? Shall we calm down for once? Emmy, now..."
...... no. You can't do that.
Now... it's moving, so I keep it.
When you calm down... maybe... I...
... so.
"Janet."
"... ma, wait...!
I don't look back anymore.
"-- Goodbye"
I put my strength into my legs and go down to the roof of the store.
"Emmyee!
... What, Janet can make that voice, too.
Good luck, best friend with the pull-in proposal.
I did not react in any way to that voice and left the city for roofing.
And now, deliberately off the road that connects the village from the city, there is only one person in the mountains.
Weapons, shields, and money. That's about it for your belongings.
Mountains sometimes have demons overflowing from dungeons escaping intact, and there's even talk of a total unknown dungeon.
I don't show up on the road first, but I show up frequently in the mountains. So people walking down mountain roads are not usually there.
I can't hear anyone, I can't hear bugs.
I haven't even blown the wind. It doesn't sound like a sound.
Oh.
No, you can't.
There has to be so much.
—— It calms me down.
Just then, a beast with big wolf-like fangs appeared in front of me with black fur.
My body length would be as big as mine when I stood up.
Definitely, a demon overflowing from the dungeon.
Quite a few.
I showed up just when I was thinking.
Just.
Just fine.
"--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Going for a bunch of demons, I fly with my sword.
The shield... stay on your back, don't use it.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!"
A sword in both hands severs the demon from spine to spine under one blow.
The power, undoubtedly multiplied by the level of competence, with the protection of the profession of [Holy Knight].
In a normal girl, a power that can never be.
"Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa --!"
Russell, who had the strongest sword among us, finally gained no power.
He looks at me poking around by myself, and a demon jumps at me all at once, not knowing if I have emotions or not, and bites at the clothes and skin I just cleansed yesterday.
Without defending it, he ignores the fangs sticking out on his body and one after the other cuts off the demon in front of him.
Maybe there's pain.
Maybe not.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaa!
I wanted to be a pretty girl.
For a long time, blurry, I wanted to be a princess.
For just one, I wanted to be a princess.
I wanted to be.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA --!"
When the rest of the demon becomes two, the sword slips with blood and falls out of his hand.
I put my own hands in the mouth of the demon, who bowed down and jumped in momentum this way.
—— That was when Russell was only about nine years old.
Russell, who was a little grown up, asked Frederica to do him a favor that day.
"I want to help you cook…"
Mr. Frederica was perfectly happy with such a cute 'favor'. So Russell started cutting vegetables alongside Mr. Frederica in the kitchen.
Still clumsy, dangerous kid Russell. But I remember how much I envied the way the two of us lined up, looking more like another relationship than a parent or a child.
But Russell had removed the kitchen knife as he was cutting vegetables, trembling and putting his finger on his mouth.
'Well, my God!
From Russell's finger, where Mr. Frederica took his hand, there was blood.
I got furiously scared at that moment.
Russell's blood is flowing.
What if I can't stop that blood?
Now I can laugh off that it's a stupid kid's idea, but back then I seriously assumed that Russell would die just like that.
And I cried so loudly behind Russell that I was instead more worried than Russell.
... No, that's a lie now.
I still can't laugh about those days.
I feel scared, sad, and crying out like a child if there's just a few cuts in Russell's fingers.
So much so that if Russell's finger skin is enough to cut off, he even thinks I'd be better off getting my arm cut off instead.
—— Oh well.
That's why I became [the Holy Knight].
The highest defense in the world. Benefits as a top position.
All of them, because I don't want Russell to get hurt, are what the goddess gave me.
Russell's level didn't rise, naturally. I thought if I let him have a cane more than a sword, he would stop fighting in the avant-garde.
If I don't pass the demon, Russell won't get hurt.
That's why I pushed Russell into the rear guard so he wouldn't fight.
It was my fault that Russell's level remained low.
—— The demon's jaw in front of him can pull a thousand pieces.
Oh, that's brittle.
More... I wish you'd hurt me more.
"... aaaaa..."
The voices that were screaming to exhale their own black emotions that had accumulated in their bodies were also a lot dead when they noticed.
And I was caught off guard by the demons who could defeat me even in such a nasty way that I was sometime late to notice the demons flying from behind.
"Ah--"
Is that supposed to be a horse lantern?
For a moment, Russell's nostalgic smile comes to mind.
At that moment, the shield I was about to erect glows and the demon blows horizontally to the far side.
The head of a demon crashing into a tree is distorted by the impact.
It was uninterrupted power. With a blow more powerful than any sword, the demon was doomed.
I've seen the moves now.
"Ah... oh..."
I understood everything.
My business.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
I... I had it all.
Standing next to a boy, unnatural, and normal looking.
Best profession in the world, too, to keep boys from getting hurt.
Best moves in the world, too, to protect any boy you like.
I had it all.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sorry..............................................................................................................."
With a sword I had to make a talking cut, I gained more power to fight than Russell.
As a result, it was designed to prevent the level of Russell from increasing.
And with the power I gained just to help Russell... I only hurt Russell.
All….
I broke it all...
I don't deserve to blame Vince.
I don't deserve to doubt Mr. Katie.
You can't be qualified to say you're Janet's best friend.
...... I'm --.
"Heels"
—— I don't know, I'm getting a little calm.
When I look at the shield in my hand, it's glowing, but somewhere, I feel like it's turning black.
It's like something that makes me up has changed my mind...
I don't know why... but being calm, I know exactly what I'm going to do now.
To Russell, let's apologize. Immediately.
And let's be Russell's shield.
I'm not the girl Russell has the right to love anymore.
Even if we were together, we don't have to be able to have any conversations.
I want one thing.
Be Russell's shield and die.
—— and, in my memory, I see a little kid with dark hair.
The child approached me crying woefully as she grated.
Then the weight I loved came back to my head.
A toy tiara that was such a favorite, but I lost it. He found it and put it on my head.
Still a little grumpy for me, says the boy of memories.
'Emmi, the... uh, yeah. Oh... cute, and... oh my God, you can be, you can already be... right?
Instead of completely stopping crying, I couldn't wait to get my face on.
But the boy who said that, too, was so bright red that he couldn't beat me.
That, remembering the most important memory I'd ever forgotten —— I had a slight crack in my heart that was supposed to have frozen so fast that I didn't even realize I was silently weeping.