Two days after Doris' incident, a guard came into the room a while after lunch.In the past two days, the meal was brought in, there was no meeting with Rachel, and the daily routine of walking alone for the sake of the sardines was gone, and nothing in particular was done.I was just a little surprised because I was just reading in my room.Looking at the fact that Rachel and I were allowed to see each other, apparently not.Then I waited for him to open his mouth as to what he was communicating, but the guard in front of me seemed uncomfortable.This is the first time the Guards have behaved like this, so I have trouble with how to deal with it.I've never seen him in front of me look down on me or be in a mood that's freezing cold.Waiting in trouble, the guard opened his mouth, somehow turning away from me.
"... what were you doing?"
"... um... I didn't do anything in particular..."
I was able to understand that the lack of the documents I always had with the Guards did not bring me any notice.Then why?Even if you think about it, you don't get an answer.The guard's eyes were still swimming, but they were set on one point.
"... what is that?"
It is the book that I have been reading before that Crisford sends his gaze by saying "that."When I said, "This is a book," they said, "I don't know if he wants to respond or if he's making a fool of me."I am confused because I have never seen such a guard before, but it goes without saying that it is better than the usual absolute zero degree attitude and mood, so I will describe and answer what is being asked as much as possible, fearing not to make you angry.
"... this is a novel I borrowed from Rachel the other day in our library..."
And as he looked at the guard, he said, "Really?" And he said, "How far have you read it?"I heard.
This book is a fantasy novel inspired by a female adventurer.When Rachel recommended it, it was very interesting and I was embarrassed.
I have no idea why I am being asked how far I am reading this book, but honestly, when I say "I'm almost done", I get a slightly bounced voice and say, "I see."After coughing up one, the guard began to speak calmly.
"... then I'll take you to the library.It will take two days for the Duchess to see her.You can borrow something to read in the period until then. "
"... is that good?
"Yes, I have permission.Let's go. "
"Ah, thank you...."
Honestly, I don't want to spend too much time with these bad guards.It's rude to go to the library together.But it's hard to spend the next two days without books.I can't help but think of Julius and her mother, and I think that saying that she has nothing to do will push her spirit away.
After placing the balance firmly in my head as to which was painful, I honestly thanked the guards and dressed up to go to the library.When I opened the door of the room and was given something like an escort, I thought I'd throw up lunch in surprise, but the guards didn't even seem to be paying attention.
While I was heading to the library, when I tried to follow the guard behind me, he stopped a little and kept pace.I was trying to walk as late as I could, and his legs stopped snapping.When I looked up at the ground, I saw Chris Ford catching one eyebrow in a mood.
"... what are you doing?
Even though I understand the words, I don't understand the meaning of the question.He went on to say more to me.
"Are you hurt?
"Yes, no. It's healthy."
"... so why are you so late?"
"... but I'm sorry..."
"Why, I apologize."
"... I thought you made me feel uncomfortable..."
There were wrinkles between Mr. Crystal's eyebrows as he watched me answer in fear.
"--I was just curious.I'm not offended. I wish I hadn't hurt anyone. "
"... ah, yes... ah, thank you."
I wonder if walking next to me instead of behind is the right answer because the guards who walked out again are obviously trying to take the same speed as me, and I try to keep pace while asking about the situation.Then it didn't stop this time, so apparently it was the right answer.Until now, I was walking behind Mr. Rachel when he was taken by the guards.Of course there were other soldiers behind me, but now they're gone, so I assumed that walking behind me would get them out of sight.
Sneaking a sigh of relief, my favorite scent blurs my nose.I loved the smell of flowers from the garden I went to the library.Gardens that have been maintained to every corner are like a paradise in the world, and you can't stop looking at them many times.I was impressed that it was a beautiful garden after many passes, and I thought how many more passes I could make and tried to burn it in my eyes without regret.
"Do you like flowers?"
When asked to do so by the guards, who were well aligned with nature's slow pace, he answered bewildered and said, "Yes, I like it", and for some reason he was surprised and awkwardly leaned down.He waves when he wonders if something has gone wrong.
"What kind of flowers do you like?"
I didn't expect this guard to ask me what kind of flower I liked, so I was surprised this time.He repeated his uncomfortable expression again, wondering why he needed to hear what I liked.
"Eh, I like white margaritas."
"... I see..."
Naturally, "What kind of flowers does Crisford like?I didn't have the courage to ask, so I turned back to the garden for the good that the conversation had been interrupted.
While doing so, I went to the library, borrowed a few more books of the novel I was reading, and walked back to my room next to the guards, just as I did when I arrived.
When I was asked to "lend" the book when I rented it, I realized that I really didn't understand the meaning, but that I had it because I returned it in front of the room.For a moment, I secretly apologized in my heart for thinking that this was harassment by the guards.
I found out today that this man must be short of words.
I went to the library and borrowed a book, but I felt more tired.After entering the room, I feel unexpectedly relieved and breathe.Although it was an inevitable event to borrow a book, I honestly sat down on the bed thinking I had to apologize twice.
I'm ready to face my sins.I'm sorry about Julius, but I don't think I can do much for my brother right now, so it might be a burden.As long as it is enough for my beloved brother, it is better to purely atone for his sins and disappear.
Whatever Rachel said, I was already too happy.
I don't want to fly around the world like the female adventurer in the novel I'm reading.It's just that my destiny was like this, so I guess I can't help it.With that in mind, I gave up laughing.
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, and I don't want to hurt anymore.
I'm tired of living.
I know that it is not the right word for a healthy daughter who has lost her mother to illness and has a brother she loves.However, Rachel told me that Julius was doing well, and I ended up with Doris.When I remembered everything and it seemed like I had finished what I had to do, my tiredness filled up my body and mind.
It is very unlikely that you will be able to betray your mother by losing your life on your own, but there is no prospect of living alone from now on.I'm tired of thinking about the future.I wanted it to be kick-ass because it was okay for anyone and everything.
That is the heart of my determination to atone for my sins.Of course, I regret not being able to stop Mr. Tanaka Hitomi.However, 60% or 80% of the heart was determined to come from a terrible egoism.
I open the book I was reading, mocking myself.
The next time I was born, I looked through the text with a longing for life like the heroine of this book.