Chapter 228 Can’t Move On from That Day
Emilia’s POV
I felt annoyed at the knocking, so I started the engine and drove off.
In my rearview mirror, I saw him sprint to his own car.
He stayed right on my tail the whole way. Caught between grief and fury, I kept pushing the car faster, and at a few intersections I nearly caused a crash.
"Girl, be careful," Eve kept shouting in my head.
I ignored her. The pain rolled through me, sharp and relentless.
I didn’t know where I was going. I just drove, taking turns at random, my vision blurred with tears. Behind me, Sebastian’s car kept pace, never falling too far back.
Eventually I pulled into the lot near Silverlake Beach. I got out and walked toward the water, needing the sound of the waves to drown out the noise in my head."Emilia," Eve said gently. "He’s here."
I heard his car door slam, then his footsteps coming closer. When his voice came, it was rough with some emotion I couldn’t name.
"Emilia, did you have to do that?"
I turned to face him, surprised to find I wasn’t crying anymore. The tears had dried up, replaced by something colder. Something harder.
"Did I have to do what, exactly?" I asked. "Call you out for forgetting about me? For running to her the second she crooked her finger? For making me feel like an idiot for actually believing you when you said you’d moved on?"
I took a step toward him.
"Tell me something, Sebastian," I went on. "What should I have done instead? Smiled and pretended everything was fine? Gone home and waited for you like a good little Luna while you had dinner with the woman who broke your heart? Just accepted that I’ll always come second to a memory?"
The wind whipped my hair across my face, and the waves crashing against the shore made a fitting soundtrack for this disaster of a night.
"Tell me," I said again, my voice breaking on the last word. "What exactly should I have done?"
I said those words out loud. I really was hurt. I couldn’t shake the way my husband had looked at another woman across a dinner table. The way Sebastian had looked at Abigail, so focused, so attentive.
"You can do whatever you want, but please don’t do anything that makes me worry like that. Are you trying to get yourself killed, driving at that speed? Do you have any idea how many times out there I thought you were going to crash?"
"Yes! I really did feel like dying!" I shot back. "But would you even care? How could you do that to me back there, in front of all those people?"
Sebastian’s jaw tightened. "There’s nothing between Abigail and me. I just didn’t want you humiliating her in public."
A bitter laugh escaped me. "So you decided to humiliate me instead? In front of your precious first love, I don’t even get to speak?"
"If there’s something you want to talk about, we can go home and discuss it," he said, his voice strained. "We don’t have to do this in front of everyone."
"Oh, so that’s what this is about?" I threw my hands up. "You’re just protecting her. You’re worried people will think she’s your mistress. You know what? I honestly thought a woman who humiliated you the way she did would get treated worse than me. Guess I was wrong. Turns out I’m the only one still angry about the pain she caused you."
"Emilia, I’m grateful you’re angry for me, but can you let me handle this myself?"
"Handle it yourself?" My voice climbed. "By the time you ’handle it,’ you’ll already be back under your first love’s spell!"
"Don’t you have any faith in me?" His green eyes flashed with frustration. "You think the promises I made you were just a passing whim?"
"Aren’t they?" I threw back. "Do you dare tell me Abigail’s sudden return hasn’t shaken you at all?"
Sebastian raked his fingers through his hair. "What do I have to say to make you believe me? Nothing is going to happen between us. I know exactly who my woman is, and who I’m responsible for. Tonight meant nothing. Even if Abigail told me she wanted to get back together, I’d say no, because you’re the one I should treasure most."
His words should have comforted me, but they didn’t. I sank down slowly, wrapping my arms around my knees as the tears started. I hated crying in front of him, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore.
I felt him move closer, then he was crouching in front of me, pulling me into his arms. The scent of mint and cedar wrapped around me as he held me tight.
"Don’t cry," he murmured into my hair. "No one can ever take away what’s yours, and I’ll never leave you. I’ll never leave the woman who stayed with me through my darkest days and pulled me out of that pain."
A vow is supposed to be the most beautiful promise in the world, but right then it couldn’t ease the ache in my chest. Because I understood, better than Sebastian himself, just how much of a hold Abigail still had on him.
"Not leaving me doesn’t mean your heart will always be here," I said quietly.
I wiped my eyes and looked up at him, serious now. "Answer me honestly. Do you really not love Abigail anymore? Or when she asked to see you, you just couldn’t stop yourself from going?"
Sebastian went completely still, and I saw something flicker across his face. Surprise, maybe, that I’d seen through him so easily.
His silence was the most honest answer he could have given me.
"He can’t even deny it," Eve growled softly in my mind.
I stood up, suddenly too tired to keep fighting. I didn’t want to hear any more excuses or explanations.
I turned to walk away. After a few steps I stopped, and without looking back, I said quietly, "Breaking up with someone isn’t the terrible part. The terrible part is never being able to move on from that day."