Chapter 105 A Little Less Than Love
Sebastian’s POV
"You sound like a bad romance novel," I muttered.
"Maybe." He shrugged. "But tell me honestly, Sebastian. Do you really have no feelings for Emilia at all?"
I didn’t answer right away. Fynn and I had known each other for over a decade. We didn’t lie to each other.
"You know who’s in my heart," I said finally.
"Yeah, I do. But that doesn’t answer my question." He leaned back in his chair, studying me carefully. "There’s nothing at all? Not even a little bit of affection? Friendship? Something?"
I sighed. "There’s something. I just... I can’t explain it."
"Try."
"It’s..." I hesitated, searching for the right words. "A little less than love. A little more than friendship."
Fynn grinned. "That’s called falling in love, you idiot."
"No, it’s not—"
"Yes, it is. You’re just too stubborn to admit it."
I stood up and grabbed my coat, done with this conversation. "I have to go. Aren’t you leaving?"
"Right behind you," Fynn said, still grinning.
I arrived at Ember Lounge early and sat in a private corner booth, nursing a glass of whiskey. The dim lighting and low music did nothing to calm my nerves.
Would she come?
Part of me doubted it. But another part, the part that knew Emilia Taylor better than she probably realized, believed she would. She wasn’t the type to run from reality.
And I was right.
At exactly six fifteen, she walked in.
She looked composed, her posture straight and her expression neutral. But I could see the sadness in her blue eyes. The kind of sadness that came from trying too hard to pretend everything was fine.
"Are you planning to keep avoiding me like this?" I asked as she slid into the seat across from me.
"No," she said simply. "I just wanted to wait until I’d adjusted my mood before facing you."
Her honesty caught me off guard. It always did.
"I’m sorry if I made you upset," I said quietly. "I’m not a good man, Emilia. But you’re a good woman. I don’t deny that I have feelings for you. But those feelings... they’re not enough. Because Abigail has never left my heart. And it wouldn’t be fair to you if I accepted you while still loving someone else. I can’t have two people in my heart at the same time. And I know you wouldn’t want me to pretend to love you when I actually love someone else."
She looked at me for a long moment, her expression unreadable.
Then she smiled. It was a small, bitter smile that made my chest ache.
"Yes," she said. "I understand."
She picked up the menu and scanned it quickly. "Let’s order something to eat. I’m hungry."
I nodded, even though I could barely think about food.
I’d ordered a variety of dishes. When the food arrived, Emilia looked at the table.
"I guess you really don’t like me," she said. "You ordered everything I hate."
I felt like an idiot. "I’ll have them change—"
"There’s no need for that." She cut me off. "Let’s just finish them together. Wouldn’t want to waste good food, right?"
We ate in silence. Every few minutes, our eyes would meet across the table, but neither of us held the gaze for long.
"So close yet so far," I thought bitterly. We were sitting right across from each other, but it felt like there was an ocean between us.
"What are you going to do now?" I asked finally, breaking the silence. "Will you stay at the pack house?"
"If you don’t kick me out, I’ll stay," she said simply.
"And you’re okay with... no love between us?"
She shrugged. "There wasn’t love in the past three months either. But here we are."
She had a point.
Not every marriage was built on love. Some couples stayed together because they tolerated each other. Others stayed because it was convenient. And some stayed because they thought the other person was "appropriate."
Maybe that was enough. Maybe life could still go on, even without the fairy tale.
But as I looked at her across the table, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were both lying to ourselves.
After we left the lounge, I walked her to the parking lot.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "You can go back first. I have something to do."
"Should I give you a ride?"
"No, you don’t need to. It’s not far."
I wanted to argue. I wanted to insist. But I didn’t.
"Alright," I said finally. "Be careful."
She nodded and turned to leave.
And as I watched her walk away, something twisted painfully in my chest.