Chapter 166 Love Without Trust
Emilia’s POV
I stared at the photos scattered across the floor. Each one was proof I couldn’t argue with.
Of course.
It all made sense now. Richie’s sudden change of heart about the engagement, his willingness to "negotiate." He’d never meant to let me go. He’d set this whole thing up, had someone follow me, catch these moments, and deliver them straight to Sebastian.
And I’d walked right into his trap.
"Well?" Sebastian’s voice cut through the silence. "Still going to tell me you don’t know him?"
I looked up at him, and for a moment, I didn’t recognize the man in front of me. This wasn’t the Sebastian who’d held me through my nightmares, who’d marked me as his, who’d whispered promises against my skin in the dark.
He’d turned back into that cold, powerful, moody Alpha.
"Sebastian, I..."
"Don’t." He held up a hand. "Don’t you dare lie to me again. I gave you chances, Emilia. So many goddamn chances to tell me the truth. And every single time, you chose to keep your secrets."
He walked toward me and grabbed my wrist. The touch burned, but not from pain. From everything else. From the look in his green eyes that said I’d already lost him.
Tears blurred my vision, but I blinked them back. I wouldn’t cry.
"There’s no why," I said, my voice raw."It’s exactly what you think it is. There’s no reason at all."
I bit down hard on my lip to keep from breaking. Did I feel wronged? Maybe I should have. But Sebastian had given me a chance, and I’d thrown it away. I’d given up the last chance to be forgiven. So no, I didn’t feel wronged. I just felt sorry that I couldn’t hold on to the love I’d fought so hard to protect.
My mother. Sebastian. Everyone I loved slipped through my fingers like water.
"Don’t you have a heart?" Sebastian’s voice rose, shaking with anger and pain. "You know my heart is bleeding right now, and you won’t even give me an explanation? Do you know how much time and effort it took me, how many times I had to fight myself, just to let you get close? I asked you here because I wanted to start over with you. I wanted you with me until we’re old. Not to have you stab me in the heart like you’re doing right now." Do you feel nothing, seeing me like this? Don’t you feel guilty at all, after hurting the one person who was willing to believe in love again because of you?"
Each word cut deeper than the last, until I felt like I was bleeding out. I looked up at him, tears finally spilling over. "So if I say I feel guilty, will your heart stop hurting? If I explain, will you forgive me? If I get down on my knees, will you believe I know I was wrong?"
Sebastian’s face twisted with fury. "Do you know you’re wrong? Do you really? I gave you three chances, and you didn’t value a single one. If you really loved me, you’d have trusted me. You’d have believed I would forgive you. Love without trust is nothing. You never believed in me, so how can you make me believe you know you’re wrong?"
"That’s because no one has ever really loved me!" The words tore out of me. "I lived my whole life in a pack that hated me for not having a wolf, surrounded by hate and contempt. I’ve been betrayed by people I trusted. I’ve heard every cruel thought, every twisted plan, whether they wanted me to or not. You say I should trust you? How? When I spent years in a world that taught me love is just another weapon people use to hurt you?"
Sebastian’s grip on my wrist loosened, but his eyes were colder than I’d ever seen them. "You disappointed me again and again. Should I thank you first, and then forgive you for hurting me?"
"I never meant to disappoint you," I shot back, anger flaring through the pain. "And even if you’re disappointed, you don’t need to worry about it. The disappointment I’ve lived with is far worse than anything you’ve ever felt."
"Heh." Sebastian laughed. Nothing but bitter mockery. "Emilia, do you always use such pretty words to smooth things over with the men you cheat? Ten years ago, you sold yourself to Richie for a hundred thousand dollars. Ten years later, you sold yourself to me for 18 million dollars. Looks like you’ve gone up in value like gold over the years. But I’ll bet that in another ten years, no matter who you sell yourself to, you won’t get a price that high. Because no one will ever be more stupid than me and that fool."
The words landed like a slap across the face.
Before I could answer, he turned and walked out without looking back. The door slammed behind him, the sound echoing through the empty office.
And just like that, it felt like a wall had gone up between our hearts, one that could never come down.
My legs gave out. I sank to the floor, surrounded by scattered photos of a day that was supposed to be harmless. For a long time, I just sat there, numb.
Then the tears came.
They came hard and broken, until I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. My mother had been right all along. Love was a tumor.If you didn’t cut it out in time, it only grew worse, turned into a thorn that would hurt forever.
Thunder cracked outside the window, and then the rain came down hard. I don’t know how long I cried before I finally pulled myself to my feet and stumbled out of the building.
The rain hit me the second I stepped outside, cold and steady. Within moments I was soaked through, my hair stuck to my face, tears mixing with rainwater. I walked with no direction, no purpose. Everywhere I went would be sad. What did it matter where I ended up?
My feet carried me to the beach. The ocean stretched out in front of me, dark and churning, waves crashing against the shore. The sound was loud, almost mocking.
If living hurt this much, why keep going?
I stepped forward. The water reached my ankles, then my calves, then my thighs. I’d never learned to swim. I wasn’t afraid.
I kept walking until the water reached my waist.
"Hey, miss!" A voice shouted from behind me. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"