Chapter 121 Nowhere to Go
Emilia’s POV
"No, I won’t."
The words left my mouth with a finality that surprised even me. I looked at Sebastian standing there in the hallway, his green eyes unreadable as always.
"Every time I wanted you to persuade me to stay, you never did," I continued. "So I gave up waiting. You were right about one thing. I don’t have much self-esteem left. So now I’m going to save what little remains. From now on, I’m done expecting things from people who have no intention of giving them."
I tightened my grip on my suitcase and turned toward the stairs.
"Emilia."
I didn’t stop.
The moment the door clicked shut behind me, the bond in my chest twisted painfully.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about him.
I started walking. The Silver Moon Pack estate was located in the wealthiest part of Silverlake City, where the houses were spaced far apart and the streetlights cast everything in a cold, sterile glow.
My phone buzzed. Scott’s name flashed across the screen.
I declined the call and kept walking.
It buzzed again. This time I turned it off completely and shoved it into my coat pocket.
The city stretched out before me like a labyrinth with no exit. Silverlake City was huge. Millions of people, thousands of buildings. And yet there wasn’t a single place I could go where I truly belonged.
Not the Taylor house. Goddess knows Henry and Dorothy would love nothing more than to see me humiliated and homeless. Linda would probably laugh in my face.
Not the Simons estate. I had just walked out of there like some dramatic heroine in a tragedy, and my pride wouldn’t let me crawl back even if I wanted to.
Not Scott’s place. That would send entirely the wrong message, and I wasn’t cruel enough to use his feelings as a safety net.
So I just walked.
I walked until my feet ached, until the expensive part of town gave way to the commercial district with its bright neon signs and 24-hour convenience stores. I walked until the crowds thinned and the streets grew quieter, the only sound the occasional car passing by.
And then, because I was apparently a glutton for punishment, I did something stupid.
I opened my mind.
I flung the gates wide open and let every single voice within a three-block radius come pouring in.
[need to get milk before I go home]
[she’s definitely cheating on me, I know she is]
[if I don’t get this promotion, I swear to the Moon Goddess]
[why does my daughter never call anymore]
[that woman is so beautiful]
The thoughts crashed over me like a tidal wave, a cacophony of human and wolf consciousness all screaming for attention at once.
My head throbbed. My vision blurred at the edges. It felt like my brain was being squeezed through a juicer.
Good.
If I was drowning in other people’s problems, I couldn’t think about my own. If every neuron in my brain were firing in protest, I couldn’t feel the hollow ache in my chest where Sebastian’s rejection had carved out a space.
I kept walking, kept listening, let the sensory overload wash through me until I couldn’t tell where my thoughts ended and theirs began.
And then I grew tired of it.
The minds around me continued their endless chatter, but I was too exhausted to keep listening. I let my ability retreat, the mental gates slamming shut with a finality that left my head ringing.
And in the sudden silence, there was nothing left to distract me from the truth.
I missed him.
I hated him. I was furious with him. I wanted to march back to that estate and throw something at his stupidly handsome face.
But Goddess help me, I missed him so much it physically hurt.
You are such an idiot, Emilia.
There was only one place left to go.
Lily opened her apartment door in pajama pants and an oversized shirt that read "I DON’T NEED A MATE, I NEED A VACATION."
She took one look at me standing in the hallway with my suitcase and sighed.
"Do you take my place as an asylum?"
"What should I do?" I pushed past her into the apartment. "If you don’t take me in, I have nowhere to go."
She grabbed my suitcase and dragged it inside, muttering as she went. "I’ve never seen someone like you. You have your family, you have your husband’s family, but you still want to squeeze into my tiny apartment? Are you purposely trying to make me feel inadequate?"
"No matter how good the Simons family is, they’re not as good as you," I said, collapsing onto her sofa. "I can only breathe freely when I come to you."
Lily sat down next to me, propping her chin on both hands with an expression of concentration.
"Okay, let me guess what happened." Her eyes gleamed with barely suppressed glee. "Sebastian found out you’re going to Paris. He was furious. He tried to stop you, but you insisted on going. Then there was a huge argument, and he pointed at the door and said, ’Fine! If you want to leave so badly, then leave right now! I don’t want to see you again!’ And your stubborn ass actually left with your suitcase."
"Do you write fanfiction in your spare time? Because that imagination is wild."
"I’m usually right though," Lily protested.
"Not this time." I kicked off my heels and tucked my feet under me. "The truth is actually the opposite. Sebastian found out I’m going to Paris and was extremely supportive. In fact, he encouraged me to go and heavily implied he hopes I never come back."
Lily’s jaw dropped. "No way."
"Yes way."
"That cold-blooded bastard." She looked genuinely outraged on my behalf. "Your heart must be shattered."
I laughed, but it came out bitter. "My heart was never whole to begin with. Can’t shatter something that was already in pieces."
My phone, which I’d turned back on during the walk to Lily’s, buzzed loudly on the coffee table. Scott’s name flashed across the screen again.
I declined the call without hesitation.
Lily raised an eyebrow. "You know I’m here, right? You don’t have to hang up on him because of me."
"I’m not hanging up because of you. I’m hanging up because I don’t have feelings for him, and it’s cruel to keep giving him false hope."