Chapter 189: Does This Count as a Confession?
Tamayo approached Shinobu with a serene smile. "Isn’t it a little noisy for you?"
Shinobu took in the commotion of the dining room and shook her head with a certain unease. "Not at all. It feels quite warm."
Tamayo watched her with understanding. "Come visit us more often. Bring Kanao with you. Even though Marcus doesn’t say it, he always keeps you two in mind."
Shinobu’s face reddened at once.
She immediately hurried to explain herself. "Don’t misunderstand—there’s nothing between him and me."
Tamayo smiled softly without contradicting her.
She reached out and, with the affection of an older sister, stroked her head. "Relax. What Marcus says is true; you think too much and demand too much of yourself in life."
Shinobu froze.
That hand was so soft, so warm...
It had been years since anyone had stroked her head that way, not since her sister was alive.
A sudden burning welled up in her eyes.
At that moment Nezuko came running, latched onto Shinobu’s leg, looking up at her. "Shinobu-neesan..."
Shinobu reacted with a start. "Nezuko, you can talk now?"
"Yes!" Nezuko nodded enthusiastically.
Tamayo explained. "It’s still hard for her, but she learns fast."
Seeing Nezuko’s eyes and expression, Shinobu remembered Kanao as a little girl.
She crouched down and gently pinched her cheek. "What great progress, Nezuko. Now you won’t have to communicate with just sounds."
"Hehehe~"
Nezuko laughed freely, stood on her tiptoes to give her a kiss on the cheek, and took her by the hand to pull her toward the dining room. "Let’s eat! Let’s eat!"
Shinobu let herself be led along while looking at Tamayo.
Behind her was Tamayo, as tender as her older sister, and in front of her was Nezuko, the same age Kanao had been back then.
The warmth of the atmosphere gave her a strange sense of disorientation.
It had been years since she’d experienced a setting like this.
If Kanao were here, she’d try to butt in, flustered from nerves. And if she herself were part of this...
"Come on, Shinobu, let’s have dinner," Tamayo’s affectionate call brought her back.
With her face completely flushed, Shinobu shook her head to clear her thoughts.
She couldn’t allow herself these distractions.
As long as demons existed, as long as her sister’s death went unpunished and Muzan remained alive, she had no room for personal longings. Much less to contemplate something like this alongside Kanao.
She silently covered her heated face.
...
Dinner turned out lavish thanks to the presence of guests, but even though the mood was lively, Shinobu ate stiffly.
Ivy watched her with concern from the kitchen, thinking the menu wasn’t to her liking. Tamayo, while tending to Nezuko, noticed the furtive glances Shinobu shot at Marcus and smiled discreetly.
When it was over, Shinobu devoted herself to chatting with Tamayo and playing with Nezuko. Even when Tanjiro came over, she spoke to him with complete kindness.
Marcus alone she treated as if he were invisible, shutting down any option of being left alone with him.
Marcus watched the scene with a certain frustration.
He had laid the groundwork for a moment alone and for advancing their relationship, but she wasn’t leaving him the slightest opening.
So he waited patiently until midnight came.
The moonlight covered the roof tiles like a thin layer of frost.
Shinobu sat alone on the ridge of the roof, legs together, hugging her knees and resting her chin on them.
Her butterfly haori swayed gently in the night breeze. Even she didn’t quite understand why she’d come up here; she only felt a great turmoil inside.
"Can’t sleep?"
Marcus’s voice came out of nowhere, making her give a slight jump.
"Marcus?" Her soft voice carried a hint of mild complaint. "Why don’t you make any noise when you walk?"
"Something my master taught me," he answered in an amused tone.
Shinobu shook her head. "How did you know I was here?"
"Pure coincidence," Marcus winked at her. "When I can’t sleep, I like to come up to the roof to get some air."
Shinobu lowered her gaze to the tiles beneath her feet.
The evenly accumulated dust gave away that no one set foot in this spot very often.
This man didn’t tell a single truth.
She sighed with resignation. "That nose of yours really is only good for tracking down women."
Caught in the act, Marcus laughed without the slightest shame. "It’s because you keep dodging me."
Shinobu’s body went stiff for an instant and, forcing herself to cover it up, she replied, "I came to negotiate on behalf of the Corps. Between us, it isn’t appropriate to discuss private matters alone."
"I understand," Marcus smiled without pushing and sat down naturally beside her. "Since you don’t want to talk about the personal stuff, shall we talk business?"
Shinobu was thrown off and looked at him from the side. "Business?"
"Yes. I didn’t actually ask during the meeting—how did the other Hashira react?"
Shinobu lowered her head, contemplating her interlaced hands. "They argued for days. There were those who supported the alliance, those who opposed it, and those who thought they should strike before you got any stronger."
"Wasn’t there anyone who suggested capturing me to study me?" Marcus tilted his head toward her.
Shinobu stayed silent, confirming the suspicion.
"You’re okay telling me this?"
"They reached an agreement," she went on. "The Master made the final decision and convinced them all."
"And you?" Marcus watched her. "Did you argue on my behalf?"
Shinobu’s fingers tightened. "I already told you, I was neutral."
"I don’t believe you. I get the feeling you were on my side."
Marcus contemplated her profile. Her long lashes trembled faintly, just like the wings of a butterfly.
Shinobu neither contradicted him nor admitted it.
The two of them stayed silent, listening to each other’s breathing under the moonlight.
After a long while, Shinobu spoke in a low voice, laden with deep incomprehension. "Marcus... why did you have to become a Vampire?"
He stayed silent for a few seconds.
"Tamayo asked me the same question."
"And what did you tell her?"
"I told her I want freedom... real freedom."
"Isn’t a human free?"
"A human..." Marcus paused. "A human dies."
Shinobu’s hands trembled faintly.
Marcus continued, "There are always those who say that joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness make up a complete life. That you have to be grateful for the bad things that happen in life and accept the inevitable sadness, because the blows of the past shaped who you are today."
He laughed mockingly.
"The way I see it, that’s pure nonsense. I simply don’t like to suffer. Out of joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, only the first and the last suit me. I want to live a happy, full life, with joy and without worries. Whoever enjoys going through grief for the fun of it and being grateful for suffering can keep all those misfortunes. I don’t want them."
Hearing those words so typical of a spoiled child, Shinobu shook her head with a faint smile. "No one can live the way you say, Marcus-kun, with only joys and no sorrows."
"That’s right, no one can..." Marcus tilted his head to look at her. "...which is why I stopped being human."
Shinobu shuddered.
"And I’m not the only one who stopped being human," Marcus’s voice was firm. "I’ll also take the people around me along, so we can go on living together. That way I won’t have the pain of losing my loved ones, nor the helplessness of watching time slip away from them day by day, and much less the regret of not being able to witness the future. A hundred years, a thousand years, ten thousand years... Until I myself decide it’s enough. Without letting anything or anyone snatch our happiness away."
He looked her straight in the eyes, driving home every word. "That said, isn’t that a good thing?"
Shinobu was left utterly stunned.
She remembered her sister’s face, the snow falling on that freezing night, and the bitter weeping that stayed with her until dawn.
Had it been possible, she wouldn’t have wanted to accept that sadness either.
"Th-Then..." her voice came out a little raspy, "you want Kanao to transform too?"
"Not just Kanao."
Marcus held her in his gaze, reflecting her completely.
"You too, Shinobu."
The night wind blew, making Shinobu’s haori flutter like petals in flight.
And in that precise instant, her eyes suddenly lit up. Paired with that radiant smile of hers, she looked exceptionally luminous.
"Marcus-kun... does this count as a... confession?"
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