Diary of Guarding Monster Girls

Why does Herbert have such a look in his eyes?

He...

Staring into those wild eyes, Svanni could only manage a faint smile, hoarsely saying, "Herbert, this statement doesn’t sound like something a Paladin should say...this, this isn’t right."

"Haha!"

The Paladin laughed heartily, shaking his head in carefree amusement, "Wrong! Svanni, you’re completely wrong thinking this way!"

"You haven’t learned enough about me yet."

"In your eyes, am I still just a conventional, old-fashioned Paladin like everyone else?"

Isn’t that true?

Svanni didn’t answer, simply returning the look with a puzzled gaze.

Do you lack self-awareness?

From Svanni’s perspective during the journey to the Dark Territory, Herbert had always vocalized his indifference to slaves, planning to turn a blind eye to those in danger.

But in the end, when faced with a crisis, he stood unhesitatingly to fend off Sinful Desire, rescuing those people.

He granted Stella liberation, took away those surviving inhabitants, saved himself, and brought Teresa back from the brink, allowing that city to reach its deserved conclusion.

To those who were about to die, Herbert was a Hero, unquestionably a Hero.

You’ve done so much, do you still feel it’s not enough?

Isn’t this sufficient to be a qualified Paladin?

Even knowing Herbert’s close relationship with Eliza, Svanni found no issue with it.

Some blemishes in personal affairs cannot overshadow the immense justice he carries.

However, Herbert denied her speculation.

"No, you’re wrong, you’re all wrong."

The Paladin laughed loudly, his smile wild and unbridled.

"You never knew what the real me is."

"What you’re seeing now, is the real me."

What is the real Herbert?

It’s a very complex question.

He is the second son of the Albert Family.

A noble youth who embraced his circumstances from a young age, choosing to pursue art rather than indulge in conflicts.

A poor soul betrayed by family, trapped in a cage unwillingly.

The father had long perceived the discord among the brothers, aware but inactive, inadvertently brewing this tragedy.

Friends, although empathetic afterwards, remained indifferent to his suffering, calculating mere cold gains and losses, ignoring his inner feelings, purely deeming the benefits greater.

At that time...in that cold cage, did he not harbor grievances? Did he not feel anger?

Yes, he did.

Towards the Frost Crystal Nobles, towards the friends, towards the father, and towards...this world.

Although later, upon leaving, Herbert suppressed that anger, burying it deep within.

But it never truly vanished.

Merely repressed, fermenting within, like wine continually brewing, gradually growing intense.

At the same time, he was once a lonelier soul.

As an orphan in that lifetime, the encounters endured along the way were already scarred.

Herbert had quite a profound understanding of the complexity of human nature.

Some, relying on prowess, enjoyed bullying the weak, while the pitiable victims preferred directing their blades towards even weaker souls.

Herbert once was that very weakling at the bottom, trampled upon by everyone.

Yet those painful experiences did not break him; Herbert eventually made it through.

Where there’s evil, there’s good.

Those selfless acts allowed Herbert to narrowly avoid going astray.

He grew unyieldingly like wild grass seen everywhere, turning anger into motivation, proving his own capabilities.

However, the unexpected came too early.

Herbert had merely repaid the kindness of others, but hardly had he avenged when he unexpectedly came to a new world.

The years of anger accumulated within his heart had nowhere to be vented, stuck in his throat like a fishbone.

He had the right to be angry, possessed the ability for revenge, but lost the target of that retaliation.

And now, he was Herbert Albert, an unconventional Paladin.

He was an ally of the Evil God.

A gambler without any chips yet relied on bluffing, weighing the pros and cons to form a pact with the Divine.

Now, he had power.

He was mighty, effortlessly reaching a height many spend decades cultivating to barely reach.

He is strong.

Whenever he wishes, he can transform into a new oppressor, indulging the various desires in his heart.

It’s a world where strength reigns supreme, lacking those moral constraints.

Yet Herbert is unwilling to become the people he once hated, refusing to misuse strength recklessly, thus suppressing his emotions once more.

Although he maintains a facade of calm, becomes the perfect gentleman in everyone’s eyes, disguises himself as a model of Paladins.

But the real him, far less rational than the surface suggests.

He was never perfect.

Deep down, there’s always a tint of madness.

In some respects, the real him can be seen as someone always on the brink of insanity yet supremely rationally controlled.

He is dangerous, yet safe.

Herbert doesn’t know how many discerned his essence, but now he wishes to share this secret with Svanni.

For, if you intend to peep into others’ secrets, yours should be revealed too.

Shouldn’t it?

It’s fair.

Though they exchanged no words, at this moment Svanni fully understood.

As the shock in the Dark Elf’s eyes gradually faded, the surprise ultimately turned into a trace of pity; she raised a hand to gently stroke his cheek, embracing him tightly, no longer avoiding.

She didn’t ask Herbert what he had specifically experienced; it was all in the past, and asking further served no purpose.

All she could do at this moment was to hug Herbert tightly, sharing her warmth with him.

Herbert felt that silent affection, the corners of his lips slightly lifted, gently reciprocating the hug, softly saying: "I’m not a normal Paladin and you’re not a normal Dark Elf; isn’t it a great match?"

"Maybe, I’m fond of your madness?"

Svanni no longer evaded, fully reverting to her usual self, raising her head with a bit of coquettish helplessness: "But I’m indeed indifferent, I certainly can’t meet their expectations..."

It’s not that she doesn’t wish to get along well with others, but truly lacking the disposition.

Simply pretending to be sociable was already pushing her limits.

"It’s okay; just don’t be indifferent to me, and take your time with the others." Herbert smiled without pressing her, instead comforting, "I’ll always be with you; someday, you’ll fully accept others and get used to goodwill from them."

Svanni pursed her lips, hesitating briefly, tentatively asking: "By then, will I have a ’heart’?"

"At that time, I..."

Will becoming a Loyal Dog be sufficient?

Of course not.

Who doesn’t want to truly fall for others?

But Svanni is uncertain whether she qualifies without a heart.

Once I possess a heart, will I then qualify to "love" you?

"Hm? Are you still confused because of Lukalia’s words?"

Herbert blinked, understanding dawned on him, murmuring: "I see, that’s where the problem lies; no wonder your wish is so humble..."

He smiled at Svanni, leaned his forehead against hers, whispering: "Svanni, you’ve always had a heart."

"You have the right to be loved."

"Naturally, you have the right to fall in love with others."

"In fact, you’ve long been loved already!"

Upon saying so, Herbert suddenly pushed Svanni away gently, winking at her.

"As for how I’ll prove to you that you are loved — I think, shouldn’t you switch to your true form first?"

He gazed at the bewildered Dark Elf, speaking meaningfully: "After all, what I’m about to do next will be your first time."

"Such a precious experience, I think it’s best left to your true form."

"What do you think?"

Svanni: ???

First time?

What first time?

Wait, what are you planning?

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