- This country is crazy.

When was the first time I thought that?

That seems like a distant old memory.

Was that when I was 10?

At the time I was in love with a slave girl my age. It's a slave girl who was hired at home. She was said to be a fine slave (...).

She didn't have a name. I never even heard of him. All I knew was that my parents bought me a slave for high gold.

"I can't do this at all... Can't you even clean it satisfactorily? My parents gave me a lot of money to buy you, so do it with satisfaction."

"Sorry...... Maid Chief"

My house, to speak for itself, was so called rich. In this country we rarely took three meals a day, and there were even more maids and slaves.

That is because my father was the minister responsible for the politics of this country. Its power was stronger than that of the king of this country. To the extent that it is no longer an exaggeration for my father to say king of this country.

So education for me was pretty tough too. I was taught the sword from an early age, and I was made to study late every day and night.

She was the base of my heart like that. Every day, I work hard, from a young age or many failures. Each time I felt approximated by her bowing her head to the maid length.

"Enough, just wash the dishes."

"Yes......"

I wasn't good. So I often touched my father's eclampsia saying why I couldn't. I thought she and I were alike as children.

But I was a coward and didn't have the courage to talk to her. Every day, I lived a day staring at her from the shadows.

She was a worker. The eyes worked and I cleaned up to the details, and occasionally I even went from work that other maids forgot to do. But no one praised her for such a worker.

That seemed strange to me at a young age.

If she fails at all, no one praises her as one, even though everyone he roughs up his voice and sometimes waves his fist and gets angry.

That was different from me. I was praised both by my father and by my mentor. I could do my best to be praised again.

But how can she work so hard when she only gets scolded?

I became more and more interested in her.

And I finally walked out of the shadows before her.

"Hey."

When I raised one hand and spoke, the girl rested her cleaning hand and lowered her head. The look she gave me before I lowered my head was a terribly faceless one.

"This is Lady Luxeria. What can I do for you? Then not slaves like me, but maids?

"No, you don't have to call me. I need to talk to you."

I was terribly nervous at this time. I didn't put it on my face, but my heart had to be calm.

"Can I help you?

"Ah, oh. No, I thought you worked hard every day. Thank you for taking care of us every day. Thanks to you, I feel comfortable every day studying and auditioning my sword."

I braved myself to pass on my daily gratitude to her. It's a little different than complimenting her, but I wish she could work hard with this.

But she's still a faceless face,

"I am a slave. There is no need for Lady Luxeria to be so willing. Excuse me."

That's what I said and left with a thank you.

I looked at it flashly. Because the reaction I imagined at the time was too different from the action she took.

For the first time on this day, I touched the identity of a slave.

Then the time passed a little.

Since that day, I have spoken to her many times to praise her for her daily gratitude and her way of working. So she never reacted differently, but once she talked to me, the hurdle dropped, and I looked at the fold and I repeated that.

One day like that, I was called out by the head of the maid who was watching the sight.

"Dear Luxeria, has that slave done any disrespect?

"Yeah. Because every day, you take care of her and the maid chief. I was just thanking you."

I told the maid manager without hiding anything in particular.

"How sweet. But you don't need to thank the slaves or anything. Slaves are things. There's no one to thank for anything."

The maid chief said something so incredible. Young I immediately denied it.

She said she was human.

"Things? Maid chief, that's not true. She's human."

"No, it's stuff. As you may not know, Lady Luxeria is still young, but she's not human, she's a thing."

But the maid chief has reinforced the tone and pushed the idea that slaves are objects.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell you. I'm still young and I don't know many things. So I thought maybe she was a thing, not a person.

From that day on I stopped talking to her. Back to watching closely from the shadows again.

That was the action she took with the intention of identifying whether she was a person or a thing.

But no matter how many times I tried to think of her as a thing, I could only see her as one person.

She was faceless, but not emotionless, sweeping the floor at best and wiping the windows and vases. The emotions shown were not bright, but she still had a heart.

I forgot to tell if she was a person or a thing because I saw all her dark emotions that way, and I purely wanted to see the face she was laughing at.

What kind of face do you laugh at?

Is that a cute smile?

How can you laugh at me?

and I began to think like every day.

And the day came.

The day I was convinced this country was strange.

I was watching her that day as usual. It was no exaggeration to say her stalker at the earliest opportunity.

She was cleaning the mansion with her usual faceless expression on her face. But when I clean every day, mistakes happen.

She broke the fancy vase she was decorating that day.

The cracking sound of a vase called Gashahan! echoed the mansion, and soon the maid director rushed to see what was going on.

"What is it!

"Sorry...... I broke the vase"

The slave's girlfriend bowed her head deeply and honestly apologized to the head of the maid. But the shoulder was shaking and scared of something.

I saw it and felt it was an opportunity.

If I help her here, she must smile. I thought so.

I crawled out of the shadows and came before the two of us.

"Maid Chief, I'm sorry. He bumped into me when I ran by. I was scared and hidden, but this kid's not bad. It's all my fault."

"Ru, Master Luxeria? And yet..."

I lied. Lied and bowed his head, sheltering her.

The maid chief couldn't scold the slave's girlfriend because I bowed my head. I thought if the maid chief received my apology like this, she would surely smile.

But...

"What's going on?"

"Dear Parent..."

Things changed with my father's appearance.

"I heard what happened."

"Yes. Actually..."

"Father! I'm sorry! I broke the vase!

I apologized to my father for blocking the maid's words and allowing him to wear them.

My father hung his eyebrows at me like that. And when I glanced at the slave girl, I told her to throw up.

"Keep the slaves there in the cage room. Be tough."

"Father, wait, Father! I did this! This child has done nothing!

I ate and hung up on my father, who told me to go to the slave cage room with his ruthless eyes. But my father shouted out loud and scolded me just because he couldn't get into my ears, such as my words.

"Luxeria! What will my successor do with that! In this case, it doesn't matter if the slave broke the vase! Slaves must not have something to truncate, admit and shelter their inadequacies, etc!

"... ugh!

I couldn't argue with my father's words. I didn't understand what they said.

I thought they said it was important if you were a slave or not, not if you broke a vase or not.

At this time, I gradually understood what slaves were.

Slaves are things, things to throw away.

Anything less than a person.

What is that...

Slaves, even though she's the same person...

The slave girl was taken to the cage room while I was scolded and stood up by my father. The body was shaking badly.

I couldn't even stop it.

I went back to my room and thought.

My father's words.

I still respected my father at the time. Father, the minister in charge of the politics of the country.

So I thought. Say what my father said.

But my mind didn't try to understand that. I thought that was because I was an impossible person. A fine man like my father can accept that slaves are things.

I can't even see one girl smile when I can't do it that way.

I couldn't sleep that day.

- By the time I was in the middle of the night, I had left the room and came to the front of the cage room. Then he opened the door using a key hung on a nearby wall.

I still remember the sight in detail. The sight was so shocking to me.

The slave girl was like a doll. His hands were fixed against the wall, hanging without force, and the flesh was decided. There were countless other marks of cuts and bruises on the body besides the kind of wounds that cut through the body with something similar.

The floor stained bright red with her blood and was naked with nothing on her body, a girl.

The smell of raw blood and the smell of something rotting makes my nose about to bend. The air with that smell on it was so cold that even I, dressed in clothes, felt the cold.

…………

You noticed that I opened the door, and the slave girl shook and looked up. But her face was especially terrible. Unbroken, swollen eyelids, many teeth fell below, hair partly pulled out and blood seeped from the scalp. The nails have been peeled off many times and are very painful.

I threw up.

For being too cruel.

This is the slave......?

It's not a human treatment... it's a thing.

How can you do this...

She just broke a vase...

"Ugh..."

I didn't even get hurt, but I started crying. I had no idea why the tears were overflowing.

Why do slaves have such identities?

How can a deceased be so cruel?

Why does a child like her have such eyes on me?

Weird. My father, the maid, the one in this house, no...

- This country is crazy.

I went into that bloody room crying. And untie her. The moment she untied the restraint, she collapsed.

I stop holding it.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help you. I'm... helpless."

…………

I apologized to her in tears. I thought it was my fault she had such eyes.

I couldn't save her. I couldn't argue with my father's words. It was in my father's eyes because of my mouth.

"............ ru, Luc, Dear Celia, because, no"

With a voice so weak that if the wind blows, it's going to scratch out, that's what she said. But I immediately denied the word.

"No, it's my fault. It's all part of what I asked."

"............... listen, can I, please?

"Oh."

Pinching such a conversation, I took her out of her room. I didn't want to keep her in that room.

And I let her bring blood all over the hallway wall.

And I glanced straight at her.

"... why are you a slave, a certain, kind, kind to me, do you,"

Her right eye was not empty. He only opened his left eye and asked me.

"It's..."

I'm stuck in words. I knew what the right answer would be.

Because she's a slave?

Because she's the same age?

I didn't think they were all perfect answers.

If you insist.

"Maybe I like you."

It was the first time at this time that I put it into words and realized it. She burst into tears at my confession like that.

"There, there, there, there. I've never been told that before."

I didn't want her crying, I wanted to see her smiling. But all this time, she looked like she was laughing crying.

"Let's cure the injury first. Drink this."

I gave her the liquid in the vial as she was crying. But she couldn't drink alone. You didn't listen to your body, you just shook your hands.

I spoke gently as I lay my own hand over her hand like that.

"Open your mouth, please"

I opened my mouth shaking my lips at my words. I poured liquid into it.

That's the finest potion. But this injury was not cured by a single bottle. I poured the bare matter that was in her room into her mouth.

Gradually her wounds heal. But it wasn't magically perfect, and the missing teeth, hair, and nails didn't go back.

Still, her tremors stopped. He also pulled swelling on his face and stared at me with both eyes.

And he thanked me to squeeze it out.

"Thank you......"

"Does it hurt anywhere?

"It's okay. The pain has gone away."

She was still in tears. But the look was back to its usual faceless expression.

Emotions and expressions don't match. That's what I felt.

"I'd like to see your smile if I could. Will you laugh?

"Smile, is it?..................... here's the deal?

That's what I've been checking. Nothing had changed her face. The faceless expression itself.

I felt sad about it. She's...

"I'm sorry, Master Luxeria. I don't laugh well."

"No... you just have to laugh at me one day"

- I've forgotten how to laugh.

I couldn't have thought of it as more cruel than what I had done earlier.

"Yes, I'll practice to be funny one day"

"Oh......... then I have to thank you for making me smile. Is there anything you want me to do? To the best of my ability."

"Thank you? Such a thing, to me as a slave..."

"You are not a slave. Human. Just like me."

I denied it so that I could wear it on her words.

Slaves are human. It is not a thing.

That was the most valuable value of my life that I cultivated on this day.

"... Then I want a name,. I want proof that I'm human."

I didn't think you could do that.

Her sincere wish is her own name. I've never been as fond of a person's name as I was at this time.

"Yuika"

"Yuika...... that's my name...... yuika"

Yuika muttered her name so she could bite it off.

"Yuika seems to mean 'smile' in old words. I put it on so that one day you could laugh."

"Smile...... Yuika. Dear Luxeria, I will never forget this grace. I remember this every time they call me Yuka."

I guess she's 'smiling' now. But the expression remains stiff.

Will one day she have a laughable day from the bottom of her heart?

... No, I'll make it.

Let me make her smile.

I was so determined.

But I still didn't know that at this time. how sad and merciless her smile was.

I immediately moved that determination into action.

"Father, I'm sorry I'm late at night."

"Luxeria? Get in."

"Yes."

After I laid Yuika in my room, I headed to my father's study.

First, change the country from within this House.

"Excuse me."

"So, what can I do for you? This is not the time for a child to be awake. I have a lot to learn tomorrow. Go to sleep."

Was my father still at work, wearing glasses and looking through something? But when I went in, he took off his glasses, looked at my face, and scolded me like a novel. It was just not like yelling earlier.

"I apologize for that. But I couldn't really sleep tonight. I've been thinking about my father's words in my room."

"Right. You understand what I'm saying about coming here, don't you?

"No, the other way around. I came to tell you that what you said was a mistake."

"What?"

My father's eyes narrowed. Those eyes are always those that scold me. But I didn't flinch.

Because I was confident that I wasn't wrong or anything.

"Slaves are not things. Slaves are alive. If you get hurt just like us, you'll bleed and you'll feel pain. I weep when I'm happy. Slaves are like us."

My father stared at me tightly. But still, I kept my eyes out of my father's eyes. I don't know how I felt about that, but my father exhaled deeply.

"... Was it too early? Luxeria, go to sleep already today. Tomorrow we'll change the content of the class."

"Father, wait! We're not done talking yet! Admit that she is not a thing!

My father tried to kick me out of my room. I ate it. But that gets kicked in the ass with one word from my father.

"Terrible! Let's say it again now. That slave's daughter is a thing. Luxeria, the smaller ones may still not understand. Did you come into my room to see that thing about to break? But I don't need that kindness. Be more rude. You won't be able to do it any time soon. So starting tomorrow, they'll learn how to use that slave's daughter."

"Father, what the hell..."

I looked like a monster to my father at this time. Turn people into monsters that don't even think of them as people.

I was expelled from my father's room shortly afterwards. And I'm literally thrown into my room by a man with my father.

"So, are you okay? Dear Luxeria,"

"Yuika...... Yuika, I'm sorry. I couldn't help you again. [M] Rather made the situation worse."

Yuika worried about me being thrown in. I apologized to her again.

I tried to help her and made the situation worse again.

"Please don't apologize. You don't have to be heartbroken for me. I am grateful to you. So don't apologize for me."

No, not me. Even if you despise yourself, I do not despise you. [M]

"Yuika, I'm sorry. Because of my reckless behavior, I'm going to put you in a hard spot. Father... that monster is trying to make me hurt you. They want you to learn how to use slavery. [M]... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

My father told me to let him learn. So no matter how much I resist, my father will force me to hurt Yuka.

"It's okay. I'm not afraid of anything if you want me to. Because you're so sweet. I'm not afraid of anything if you're the first person who's ever been nice to me who couldn't be nice to anyone."

Same faceless expression. But I felt Yuka's heart smiling at me.

That night, the two of us slept in hugs. Because they were both trembling. In Hell's days starting tomorrow.

Yuka is afraid of pain.

I'm afraid of hurting Yuka.

I resented it. This country. Think about it, maybe this was the first strong negative emotion I was born with.

The grudge born on this day has not yet disappeared.

It kept burning deep inside my chest without disappearing.

- It was a hell of a day.

The man who received his life from my father grabbed my arm to resist and made me hurt Yuka many times. Crying and calling, the man didn't stop.

Me and Yuka slept together, shaking our bodies like every day. And a hell of a day that starts again when you wake up.

Yuka increasing scratches day by day. Soon the potion I had disappeared and my awkward recovery magic healed her days. But I can't completely heal her wounds.

As it is, Yuka dies. I was realizing in those hellish days.

So I decided to take Yuka and run away. I thought there was nothing else. To escape from the hands of a monster demon...

It was in the middle of the night without my father that I executed that escape plan. The two of us worked out a plan beforehand and decided this day was the least watchful and tried to escape.

But what I read was what the child thought.

We can't even get out of the mansion and get caught.

And the two of us were tied up and brought to my father's study. That's where you've been waiting for us.

"Hey, why are you here...?

Father, no, it was a monster.

"What you're reading is what a child thinks. I know what I'm thinking. It's easier to direct that idea."

"Oh no..."

I darkened before my eyes. We were only dancing in the palm of my father's hand.

"Luxeria, take a good look"

"Ya, stop it - yuka! Yui Ka Ji"

"Dear Luxeria,

Yuika was dragged out before her father with the sword. I knew what my father was going to do without being told.

Namely, uh...

"Yuika? Is that the name of this thing? A slave doesn't need a name or anything."

He said he was going to kill Yuka.

An eye that saw an inorganic object, not even my father's intent to kill, captured Yuka, and without a moment of confusion, he put his sword up against his chest.

"Yuikaruuuuuuu"

"Le, luque, celia, dear......"

I saw Yuka skewered by my father and screamed in tears like a waterfall.

"Let him go."

"Ha."

My father, who pulled the sword out of Yuka's chest, commanded the man who was capturing me.

I ran out tied up towards Yuka at the same time.

"Yuika! Oh my God..."

There was a lot more blood on the floor than I once saw in the cage room. The sword pierced her chest with every rope that was tying her, and a bloody rope scattered across the floor. That's the blood. A eucalyptus lying on its back in the whole neighborhood. Yuka opened her half eyes as I rushed over, shaking her eyelids fine.

"Luc, Celia, Dear…"

"Yuika, hold on! Now, me!

I stayed tied up and chanted healing magic. I directed the best I could at healing her wounds.

But the blood spilling out of Yuka's chest without stopping never seems to fit. On the contrary, the blood colour is lost from her face as she looks at it.

To me with such a desperate look, Yuka put a thin hand stained with blood on my cheek.

"Dear Luc, Celia, I liked you."

"Yuika......?

I listened to her. Because I realized that unconsciously.

I can't help her. That's what Yuka knows.

"Yuika, you gave me the name, you... you tried to protect me, you did... and before sleeping, you must, speak, you gave me, your, your ideals..."

I remember her last words word by word, to that breath. For me, she was the beginning.

"Please, fulfill your ideals… we can laugh… live in a country…"

That became her last word. Yuka's hand is blood. He went back inside.

I shed a tear of blood in front of her remains.

"Why... why, at the end of the day, laugh... you won't be able to say what you think or thank you..."

She was laughing. At the time of death. You did me a favor.

"I want to see your smile"

Yuika showed me that at the end. He had a very poor, gorgeous smile. But then it was also a sad, merciless grin.

"Luxeria, this is slavery. Just my will, it breaks easily. That's what slaves are for."

To my father it was education. Taking Yuka's life in front of me.

I wasn't even willing to argue with my father's words like that. However, tears fell from the cheeks as if they were loose shells. On the remains of a squid lying unbroken...

Why did Yuka have to die?

Why do slaves suffer such injustice?

Why am I so helpless?

"You got your room dirty. Keep it clean. The remains of the slave will feed the dog."

"Ha."

I doubted my father's words.

How can this man say such a cruel thing flat out about the brutal trick of keeping her life and feeding a dog even the carcass? A man who accepted that without any particular doubt.

Is this country nothing but monsters?

"Dear Luxeria, stay away from that filthy thing"

"Say no! What's going to happen to Yuka after all the more terrible things she's done to Yuka! At least in the dirt......!

"Unfortunately, I can't do that. Parent's orders."

My tearful appeal made no sense either. When the man forced me away from Yuka, he wrapped Yuka's remains around every carpet on the floor and took them somewhere.

I crawled into my father's study and couldn't stop it.

"Yuikaaaaaaaa"

I don't know. to see what happened to her remains afterwards.

I found out. That this country is rotten.

I took an oath. Changing this country.

This is what I remember when I was 10.