Dragon Canon

Hsu Yi was ultimately a young lady of a good family. She spared the old man some final dignity by leaving him in his moon-white undergarments rather than stripping him completely naked. However, there was likely nothing hidden on him.

Wei Yuan packed all the miscellaneous items into a box and sealed it. Then, he turned to the Zhao general.

A terrible chill ran down the general’s spine as he said in a hurry, “Hero, you’d best spare some dignity for the State of Zhao and Her Highness! If not, we’d rather die for the cause!”

Wei Yuan scoffed, “If you dare make a move, then the princess will lose all dignity. You will become the one who prioritized his own face over the princess’ safety and the royal family’s honor, and everyone here will be the witnesses.”

Shifting blame was an all-too-common tactic in the historical texts. Hence, it took no effort for Wei Yuan to use it.

The general was speechless for a moment. When Wei Yuan started walking toward the boat-carriage, he cried out in anguish, “What exactly do you want?”

Wei Yuan replied calmly, “For you to do as I say. It’s not like there’s any room for negotiation, is there? The fact you’re still hesitating seems to prove that your loyalty toward your king isn’t worth much.”

The general’s complexion alternated between blue and white. In fact, the King of Zhao probably wouldn’t doubt his loyalty if Wei Yuan’s words actually made it to him. However, the princess’ opinion of him was definitely much lower than what it was before.

Gritting his teeth, he could only say, “I’ll do whatever you ask as long as you do not harm Her Highness!”

“I want horses, weapons, and your personal belongings. You may keep the royal standard.”

The general gritted his teeth and turned to his men, “All units, dismount and strip off your armor!”

Only then was Wei Yuan satisfied. Just then, a voice came from within the carriage. “Will you step inside and have a word with me, hero?”

The carriage door suddenly opened of its own accord, revealing a deep, dark interior. It was impossible to see anything inside. Clearly, the boat-carriage was an exceptionally high-grade mystic artifact.

Wei Yuan paused to consider for a moment before snorting coldly. “Why not? It’s not like I have anything to fear.”

That was what he said, but Wei Yuan first pulled out a pile of elixirs. First, he swallowed eight pills that recovered his Dao energy. Second, he produced a small jade bottle and sniffed it for a long time—it was for neutralizing poisons and warding off curses. Finally, he took two steel-barrel spears as thick as a bowl from someone nearby and slung them over his waist. Only then did he carefully climb into the carriage and disappear inside.

The interior of the carriage surprised Wei Yuan. Far from being luxurious or opulent, it resembled a general’s field headquarters. Seated across from him was a young woman dressed casually in a set of clothes designed for ease of movement.

At first glance, Wei Yuan didn’t think much of her, other than finding her quite pretty. But the more he looked, the more captivating she became. The fact that the carriage was filled with sabers and swords also gave her an air of boldness and grace that set her apart from the crowd.

When the young woman saw Wei Yuan, she covered her mouth and giggled softly. “I did not know you’re so afraid of death, general.”

Wei Yuan wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. If there was one thing he had developed after venturing into the world for several months, it was a thick skin.

That said, he couldn’t admit that he was afraid of death. Fortunately, he had a wealth of excuses at his disposal thanks to extensive reading. He declared with righteous indignation, “A gentleman does not place himself in danger. I must preserve my body for the benefit of all—how could I possibly fall for your provocation?”

The young woman paused, then giggled even more heartily than before. “If that is true, then why didn’t you just send one of your men up?”

Wei Yuan paused. She... was right. Why hadn’t he sent a subordinate to test the waters?

It was because he had grown accustomed to charging into battle first before anyone else. He also hadn’t encountered enough situations like this to think this through.

The young woman suddenly asked, “Is it because you want to see what the princess looks like? Well, you have now. What do you think?”

Wei Yuan looked at her intently before paying her a compliment, “You’re not bad.”

The young woman was speechless for a second. Then, she flew into a rage, “You ba... is there someone else by your side who’s prettier than me?”

Wei Yuan replied, “Among the women I know, there are indeed some who aren’t as good-looking as you—though not many. But yes, there are quite a few men who can’t hold a candle to you.”

The young woman was so angry that she burst out laughing, “So you’re saying you know a few men who are better-looking than me, is that it?”

To her shock and fury, Wei Yuan nodded.

He was telling the truth, though. Forget Hsu Henshui, even Xiao Yu would be better-looking than her if he was dressed in women’s clothing.

“Get out. There’s nothing left to talk about.” The young woman didn’t want to exchange another word with Wei Yuan.

But Wei Yuan showed no intention of leaving. “I’m here on someone’s behalf to retrieve an item. Might you tell me what it is that’s supposed to be handed over to me?”

The young woman paused—she didn’t know what the item was either. “I don’t know!” she snapped.

Wei Yuan did not get angry. “If you won’t tell me,” he said, “then I’ll have no choice but to search you. I’m pretty thorough when I search a person. Surely there is no need for me to go that far, right?”

The girl gritted her teeth and glared at Wei Yuan for a moment. Suddenly, she said, “Take off your mask and show me your face. Only then will I let you search me!”

Wei Yuan figured his true appearance wasn’t exactly a secret, so he took off his mask. True to her word, the girl closed her eyes, thrust out her chest, and declared, “Go ahead[1]!”

Wei Yuan wasn’t about to hold back. He ran his hands once around the girl’s head, and her long hair immediately fell loose. Every piece of jewelry on her head—including her earrings—ended up in his hands. Even the powder on her face and the rouge on her lips had diminished by a thin layer.

Some treasures were finer than a strand of hair. It could easily be hidden within one’s rouge.

Wei Yuan was going to keep searching until he spotted a faint smirk of triumph on the young woman’s face. So, he stopped.

“Why are you stopping?”

“It’s not on you.”

The young woman blurted out instinctively, “How did you know?” But the moment the words left her mouth, she realized she had been tricked.

“I have no idea what that thing is; only that someone is coming to retrieve it. Anyway, continue!” The girl stepped in front of Wei Yuan.

Wei Yuan took a step back and replied, “We will meet again in the future. How about this: tell me what your plan is. Depending on what it is, I may choose to lend you a hand.”

The young woman replied, “I’ve come to Western Jin for a matchmaking arrangement. It’s not certain who my match will be in the end—it could be King Cheng’s grandson, or one of the royal princes. However, I’ve heard they’re all quite detestable, so I’ve decided to give each of them a hat[2] to wear first. That way, the marriage won’t go through. Of course, if anyone can tolerate this, then there’s nothing I can do.”

Wei Yuan quickly replied, “An impressive measure, princess! But I’m afraid I can’t help you with this.”

Marriage alliances between nations were never as simple as a single weeding. Behind the scenes, there were countless major events and political schemes. Wei Yuan wasn’t stupid; he had zero intention of getting mixed up in this. Besides, the history books taught him that political marriages between nations[3] rarely ended well—they were usually only resorted to as a last resort.

But the young woman laughed. “From the moment you set foot inside this carriage, it’s already too late for you. I’m definitely going to say you’ve touched me no matter what happens, so you might as well see this through until the end. At least you won’t have taken the blame for nothing, right?”

Wei Yuan immediately clasped his hands in a bow. “Farewell!”

He then turned around and stepped out of the boat-carriage.

The Fifty Bandits of Heaven Fighting had arrived like the wind, but left like beasts of burden, carrying boatloads of loot and almost 7,000 prisoners. Of Yue Qilin’s original 4,000 men, only 3,500 still remained. There were also the 3,000 or so Xu Clan private soldiers who disguised themselves as horse bandits. All in all, they constituted the spoils of this expedition. Fortunately, Feng Tingyu ultimately remembered to dig Wang Ziyan out of the ground at the last moment, or the jianghu would have lost yet another promising young talent.

Ironically, Feng Lin and his own troops were completely unscathed, even though they had been stripped down to their personal belongings as well. As for why Wei Yuan hadn’t taken his men, that was because they just weren’t up to his standards. Their frail physiques were one thing, but their deep-rooted vices made them difficult to mold.

Horse bandits were horse bandits. When it comes to plundering, never doubt their willingness to strip you down to your last piece of clothing. Still, they had managed to survive, so neither Feng Lin nor his men had any complaints. After all, they could always regain what they had lost by plundering the common folk again.

As soon as the Heaven Fighting Gang was gone, Feng Lin immediately rushed to the boat-carriage, threw himself to the ground, and cried out, “Your Highness has been startled, and this general has failed in this duty! Ten thousand deaths would not be enough to atone for my sin!”

In terms of the depth of his sorrowful voice, he was the moon, and the Zhao general a firefly.

An icy voice came from inside the carriage. “Get lost. I don’t want to see you.”

Feng Lin’s heart sank, but he dared not disobey. The Zhao general, sensing the princess’ unusual tone, asked cautiously, “Did that man do something, Your Highness?”

“He did what needed to be done.” The princess replied in an icy voice tinged with a hint of grief and indignation.

The Zhao general was loyal, but he wasn’t foolish. He asked a bit suspiciously, “It’s... a little fast, isn’t it?”

Not much time had passed at all from the moment Wei Yuan got into the carriage to when he got out. After all, they had only exchanged a few words. It was such a short time that the participants shouldn’t even have enough time to take off their clothes.

Inside the carriage, the princess gritted her teeth and replied, “He was incredibly impatient, but he was all show and no go. He lost it after just three thrusts. Do I really need to say more?”

The Zhao general was at a loss for words. Feng Lin, standing nearby, was listening intently and heard every word clearly.

The delegation regrouped and set off again. In the end, the young woman sent word to Wei Yuan warning him that the object must not be lifted too high off the ground or moved too quickly. It so happened Wei Yuan was leading a large group of prisoners and couldn’t move fast anyway, so they proceeded toward the west slowly.

Meanwhile, Feng Lin was leading his troops back to the commandery capital with his tail between his legs. Halfway there, he suddenly realized he made a major mistake: his troops had emerged from the battle completely unscathed, and they were irrefutable proof of his cowardice. Sure, Yue Qilin’s whole force of 4,000 was routed, but not a single one of his 2,000 men had perished. It simply couldn’t hold up to scrutiny. His patron had no shortage of political enemies, and there was no way they were going to allow this opportunity to impeach him to slip by.

Moreover, the delegation had been raided, and the princess was... anyway, he was already going to be charged with failure to protect a member of the royal family. If he was also charged with cowardice in the face of the enemy, then even exile or banishment would be too good a punishment for him.

Feng Lin quickly glanced at his men, wondering if he should have some of them killed. It would seem suspicious if not a single officer or soldier was killed.

Unfortunately, his commandants had served under him for some time and known his character well. The second they saw him looking their way, every one of them immediately glared at him with murderous intent. A chill ran down Feng Lin’s spine. He realized that, if he made a single mistake, his men would very well behead their own commanding general first.

These commandants were thinking clearly as well. Feng Lin was absolutely going to lose his rank when he returned, so there was no need to act according to his whims any longer.

Feng Lin was helpless. Knowing this was Wei Yuan’s overt scheme, he could only curse repeatedly inside his head, “Curse you, Three Thrusts Wei! No wonder you couldn’t land a fourth thrust! And you never will for as long as you live!”

Speaking of which, every officer and soldier in Feng Lin’s army was a brothel veteran and a classic antagonist in a novel. Although they hadn’t heard what the princess had said, they had more or less guessed the “truth” just by piecing together the context clues. Because of this, they were all wearing strange smiles on their faces, and their jealousy of Wei Yuan had dissipated considerably.

A secluded courtyard, Hanyang Pass.

The old Confucianist opened an urgent dispatch. After just a single glance, he trembled with rage and shouted, “The audacity! This isn’t just a display of strength! He’s clearly shitting on our heads!”

Such was his fury that even his language had turned crude.

The middle-aged scholar took the urgent dispatch and read it carefully. He then handed it to the maidservant and said smilingly, “He’s trying to gauge our true strength. Haha, very well. I shall go and meet him myself.”

The old Confucianist said worriedly, “About Her Highness, she—”

The middle-aged scholar cut him off. “The princess is completely fine.”

1. Once more Wei Yuan’s good looks had earned him a search. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ☜

2. A green hat, if you can’t tell. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ☜

3. Especially when marrying a princess away for peace. ☜