Chapter 111: I’m Trying Hard to Remember You
Bai Ye lowered his head, resting it against Yun Sheng’s as the tip of his nose gently brushed against hers.
The gesture was far too intimate—so intimate that Yun Sheng’s heart was thrown into complete disarray.
"Because," his voice was impossibly hoarse, yet it held a trace of gentleness that even he didn’t seem to notice, "you need it, and I want to give it."
Yun Sheng leaned against his chest, her mind still a near-total blank.
The warmth of his touch lingered on her lips, and the hand at her waist hadn’t loosened its grip. Deep within her spiritual landscape, the sensations of being filled were still vivid, as if every nerve ending his spiritual power had touched was now gently burning hot.
She wanted to say something.
She wanted to say "Thank you." She wanted to say "Let me go." She wanted to ask him what he really meant by, "you need it, and I want to give it."
But all the words were stuck in her throat.
Because the moment she looked up, her eyes met Bai Ye’s.
His deep, dark eyes were gazing at her. They were so close that she could see the reflection of her own crimson cheeks in their depths and feel the rhythm of his breath.
Bai Ye didn’t speak.
He just watched her, his gaze slowly sweeping over her brow and eyes before landing on her slightly swollen lips. It lingered there for a few seconds, then returned to her eyes.
His gaze was too heavy.
So heavy it made her heart pound erratically.
"...What are you looking at?"
She forced herself to speak, but her voice came out impossibly soft.
The corner of Bai Ye’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly—it could have been a smile, or just the rise and fall of his breath.
"I’m looking at you. I want to see you clearly."
This void-like space was strange. He was so close—he could see her eyes, her lips—but he couldn’t seem to commit her face, her features, to memory.
After leaving the dream, his memory of her appearance would become a complete blur; he couldn’t recall a single distinguishing feature.
Yun Sheng froze for a moment.
She could clearly see the undercurrents in Bai Ye’s eyes, the curve of his lashes, the rise and fall of his chest with every breath.
But she knew he couldn’t see her clearly. Otherwise, he would have already caught her in reality, not just been suspicious of her.
She had always known.
She just never imagined that Bai Ye would bring it up himself.
"You can’t see me clearly, can you?"
Bai Ye’s gaze shifted slightly.
He didn’t deny it.
He simply raised a hand, his fingertips gently touching Yun Sheng’s chin and tilting her face up slightly.
"Mm," he said. "I can’t."
Bai Ye’s thumb gently grazed her jawline, as if using touch in place of sight, tracing her contours bit by bit.
"We’re so close. I can feel your warmth, hear you breathe, and smell the scent on you that puts me at ease. Yet I can’t see your face.
Every time I leave the dream, everything about you blurs. The color of your eyes, the shape of your brows, the curve of your lips... I can’t remember any of it."
Yun Sheng was utterly stunned.
She knew Bai Ye couldn’t see her clearly.
But she never realized that every time he woke up, she was truly just a blurry shadow in his mind.
"So now," Bai Ye’s fingertips still rested on her cheek, their touch as light as a feather, "I’m trying to memorize you."
His gaze was fixed on her face, staring stubbornly even though he knew he couldn’t see her clearly.
"Memorize how you look right now. That way, after I wake up, maybe the memory will last a little longer."
Bai Ye lowered his head, his lips almost touching Yun Sheng’s, but he didn’t kiss her.
He just paused there, their breaths mingling.
He knew he couldn’t remember anything, yet he was still trying.
He was using this almost clumsy method to show Yun Sheng that he cared. Even if he would forget after waking, he wanted to remember just a little bit more.
"You... Why are you..."
Yun Sheng’s voice caught in her throat, unable to continue.
Her mind was a complete mess.
She had always believed Bai Ye’s relentless pressure in the real world was because he suspected she was the person from his dreams. She thought he felt offended and toyed with, and that’s why he was trying to catch and interrogate her out of sheer anger and humiliation.
She had assumed his "help" and "goodwill" were just another form of testing and control.
But now, his words had crashed into the once-calm lake of her heart, sending out layer after layer of ripples.
Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure anymore.
Bai Ye’s relentless pressure in the real world, his scrutinizing gazes, that suffocating sense of oppression he exuded—was it all really for the reasons she’d imagined?
Or was it...
She didn’t dare let her thoughts go any further.
The next second, Yun Sheng suddenly shoved Bai Ye hard.
Perhaps he was caught off guard, or perhaps their earlier exchange of spiritual power had drained him too much, because her shove actually managed to push him back half a step.
Panting, Yun Sheng looked up at him, a trace of panic in her eyes that she herself didn’t even notice.
After being pushed away, Bai Ye didn’t pull her back into his arms as he had before. He didn’t show the slightest hint of offended anger, nor did he fix her with that dangerous gaze.
He just stood there, half a step away, watching her.
Then, the corners of his lips curved up slightly in a soft smile.
The smile was faint, almost imperceptible, but Yun Sheng saw it.
There was no mockery in it, no danger, nothing that would make her feel uneasy.
Only a kind of... gentleness she couldn’t comprehend.
"It’s time for you to wake up," he said.
Yun Sheng’s heart tightened.
She instinctively wanted to say something, but the edges of the dream were already beginning to blur.
His figure was fading, bit by bit.
Yun Sheng stared at him blankly, a look of surprise on her face that she herself was unaware of.
In every previous dream, she was the one desperately trying to escape while he was the one forcibly keeping her there.
But this time, she had no desire to flee, yet the dream was coming to an end.
"Rest and recover," Bai Ye’s low voice drifted from the distance. "Next time, I’ll be waiting for you."
As his voice faded, his figure dissolved completely into the gray-white void.
The next second, Yun Sheng’s eyes flew open.
She had fallen asleep leaning on Cheng Nian’s shoulder, and she was still in the same position when she woke up. To keep her comfortable, Cheng Nian had held that same, slightly stiff posture, not moving at all.
A warmth spread through her heart as she slowly sat up.
"Yun Sheng, you’re awake?" Cheng Nian immediately turned her head, undisguised concern on her face. "Are you feeling better? Your color was terrible while you were asleep. I didn’t dare move, I was afraid I’d wake you..."
As she spoke, she stretched her obviously stiff shoulder but didn’t utter a single complaint about being tired.
Watching her, the warmth in Yun Sheng’s heart grew even stronger.
"Much better," she said softly. "Thank you, Cheng Nian."
Cheng Nian waved her hand, but just as she was about to say something, the transport vehicle lurched and came to a sudden stop.
The stop was completely without warning. The carriage swayed slightly, jolting awake many of the cadets who, like frightened birds, had their eyes closed but weren’t actually asleep.
"What’s wrong?"
"What’s happening now?!"
The cadets on the transport tensed up instantly. One by one, they sat up straight and stared nervously out the windows, terrified of another incident.
Yun Sheng also turned her head to look outside, her brow quickly furrowing.
Outside the window, a thick, gray-white fog pressed against the glass, flowing slowly as if it were alive. Visibility was less than five meters; everything in the distance was completely swallowed, and even the landmarks that should have been visible on the side of the road were gone.
"This fog..." Cheng Nian’s voice was tight. "Why is it so thick?"
The moment she finished speaking, the fog outside the window suddenly began to churn violently.
It was as if something was moving slowly within the thick white haze.