Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

Chapter 31 I still have to go...

A wooden platform was erected by the copper mill river, and the cormortis was covered in white cloth and placed on a wooden frame. Turtles were supposed to be buried in the ground, but Hawthornitis was geranium, so the practice of geranium cremation was used.

White leads all the members of the royal family, His Majesty the King, in rows and rows. On the other side of the wooden shelf was a group of monks, carried by Rosh, and his master, Dato, sat on the beach reading the scriptures.

Fursatilla was white, with white strips wrapped around her forehead, a torch in her hand, reddish eyes, and a sad look. The first-born was supposed to hold the torch, but Rosh, having left home without his secular identity, was left to his youngest son.

White nodded purely at Fursati's place, and Fursati walked to the wooden shelf and lit the hay over the wooden shelf. Soon, the fire broke out and swallowed up the phylloxeritis. A cry filled with chanting, solemnly mu.

Fursatilla knelt on the floor with her hands on the ground, her head dropped down and her shoulders shrugged constantly. I looked at Rosh, and he seemed to forget to read the scriptures, and just stared at his father, who was disappearing in the fire, and the sadness on his face made me unbearable. Rosh's "Medium Theory" of the Dragon Tree Bodhisattva reads: “From birth to life, from birth to old death, from old death to grief and affliction, but there is great agony. It is the knowledge that the mortal is not intelligent, and this life and death are fundamentally done.” Life, old age, death, everything is painful. So the wise will “do nothing without understanding”. It's just, how could Rosh cry for his father that night if he was truly blind?

I looked at the fire, and I thought, "Master, I hope you'll meet someone you've loved all your life." Your thoughts, the Buddha will accept. The Buddha himself has suffered from the desire to love, and he should reunite you. May you in heaven be happy...

The funeral lasted for more than an hour and was eventually burned. With the help of a servant, Fursati cleaned up his father's ashes and spilled them into the copper mill river. Watching Fursatilla cry with her ashes, my heart was torn together.

Upon returning to the National Master's Palace, I did not immediately propose to Fursatilla to leave. He's still in grief, and I can't stand to talk about it. Rosh did not continue to live in the house and went back to the Bird Leaving the Great Temple with Pantou. As he walked away, he stared at me and his light grey eyes revealed too many complex myths. I couldn't read them and I didn't want to understand them. Heart, very tired...

I watched the sky in the yard. I never understood before. The sky here is purer than it was in the 21st century, of course, but what's so good about the sky? Now I understand, not how beautiful the sky is, but when people are concerned, it does look more elegant to look at the sky than simply to look at the hair.

“Irene! ”

Turn around and see Fursati standing on the steps. He was still dressed in the filial clothes of the Turks, his eyelids dimpled, his otherwise lush face slimmed around and his chin had a green beard. He looks much more stable, as if he's mature. No wonder someone said that the boy grew up at his father's funeral.

Haven't talked to Fursati for days. He walked down the steps and stood beside me, not as hairy as ever, just looking down at me. He's been following my rules ever since I got back to the master house.

“Ai Qing, that day...” I was a little confused when he swallowed up. What day is it?

“I mean the day in Subash...”

Ah, I remember. I shook my head softly: "After all this time, why are you talking about it? ”

“I've never been strong on women. I don't know why I can't control you. ”

“Fursati, if you want to apologize, I've already forgiven you. ”

“Then... here...” He fingered his lips, his face was actually a little red. “I hear Han women are very conservative...”

I suddenly realized that he meant the kiss. I smiled: "Well... I'm fine. Just think of it as a dog bite...” Honestly, I don't even remember what that kiss was like. For me, it's not called kissing, it's just being forced to stick objects on it.

“You... call me a dog...” He was a little angry and jumped at me, "Be careful I let you get bitten again by the dog. ”

I hid, and he didn't chase like he used to. He had to succeed, just standing there laughing. Almost two months later, I finally saw him smile. Or does the laughing Fursati look like him?

His smile instantly erased, looking around, some sad: “After my father left, I found the house so empty and unstoppable.” He looked at me with tenderness in his eyes, "Luckily you were still there and made me happy. ”

He reached out to touch my face, and I was shocked, leaning back and hiding. He was a little grumpy, retracted his hand.

“Ai Qing, that time I kissed you, I knew I was wrong about you. ”

I hadn't figured it out yet, so I stumbled.

He smiled slightly: "If that reaction is not virgin, I, Fursati, have really been dealing with women for so many years. ”

“You...” I stamped, "Why do you care so much about this? What does it matter if I'm a virgin or not? ”

“You lied to me before you came back, but it wasn't until that day that I realized that you had been alone with him for three months. A lonely widow, three months together, even if he's tall enough to be a man, can you convince me there's nothing between you? I was better off than him, my parents spoiled him, Uncle Wang respected him, and the world respected him. Look at me, I'm the brother of the Archmage Tamorosh, who knows my name? It was easy to show up with a woman he liked, and he was going to take it. ”

“So I've been upset. If you hadn't come back for so long, you must have gone to the temple to find him. I'm really mad, actually forcing you like that.” He looked down and smiled again: "But after I kissed you, I was fine. I was wondering, okay, how could you have had sex with him if you were so greedy? I still have time to rob you. After all, he doesn't deserve to be married, and I do. ”

I was upset: "Fursati, you are so childish. You treat me like I'm fighting him just because you're jealous of him? I don't understand. What's wrong with being a normal person? Smart people have the misfortune of smart people, too famous to be involved. Do you want to be a happy ordinary person or an unfortunate celebrity? ”

“Well...” he looked at me with determination and a serious and promising look in his eyes: “Would you like your husband to be an ordinary man? ”

Well, what's the problem? My heart pounded for a while. Press it, it's time to tell him, "Fursati, I've reached out to the merchants. Five days from now, they'll take me to Bangchao, Dry City, then Chang 'an.” To get them to take me to Dry City, I paid double the price.

“You...” He changed his face and grabbed my shoulder, "You still have to go...”

“I have no reason to stay here. ”

“Marry me and you'll have reason to stay. ”

Alas, he's still clear. “Vsativo...”

“If you deny that I've ever been good to so many women, I swear, ever since, I've only been good to you alone, only to you one woman. ”

“Vsativo...”

“Don't tell me you're older than me, I'll be older than you in a few years. And don't say anything you don't belong here. What fun would it be without me, Frau Saati? All I have to hear is one answer: Marry or not.” I have never seen such a serious look on his face, and if my heart were not filled with another person, I would certainly be unable to resist such an expression.

“Fursati, I don't marry.” I earned his hand on my shoulder and told him the truth calmly, "for only one reason: I don't love you. ”

He shook his body and left a smile in the corner of his mouth: "Ai Qing, you taught me what love is. When I finally learned to love, you told me that you never loved me. ”

“I'm sorry,...”

“Don't tell me I'm sorry!” He shook his head maniacally and pulled me over. "Is that him you love? ”

“I...” How can I admit it out loud? I can't resist his identity.

“Don't lie to me! The whole time he lived at home, he changed your meds every day, and the way he looked at you, I don't get it?” He pulled me closer, and his sharp eyes turned on my face, "You know he can't marry you, you still love him? ”

“Fursati, I wish I loved you too. I'd fall in love with you 100% if I changed the time and place. I'm really happy to be with you. You'll give me a lot of fun. It won't make me lonely.” I can't deny it anymore. What difference does it make if I don't admit it? Nothing can change.

“But love is blind, and I can't say why, I prefer him. Even if I knew it was impossible, I still couldn't control myself. That's why I'm leaving. ”

He suddenly let me go and smiled coldly, but the expression on his face was very complicated: “I'm still a step behind him... this year I'm really tired of playing games with women, without the heart, a moment's soul cannot withstand the loneliness of the whole night. So I started waiting for you to come back, and the fairy told me that if I backed out of the Book, I would come back. You think I started carrying poetry 10 years ago? I started last year, and I wanted to see if what you said was true. And you came back when I could carry it all out. Still as pure as a silly smile 10 years ago. My father used to be unfamiliar with me and pushed me to marry him. I always told him I was looking for a woman who was unique in the past. That was just a euphemism to my father. When I saw you, I suddenly thought," Aren't you the unique woman of all time? "So I want to keep you, and I want to see your pure eyes forever. I think I'm finally faster than him this time. But he took you away from me in silence. ”

I'm not unimpressed, but I always felt something was wrong with his words. “Fursati, I was only with you for three months ten years ago, when you were ten years old. After ten years, I'm afraid you won't even remember what I look like. Why would you do that to me? ”

“I remember...” He reached out to touch my face and I took a step back. He did not approach, only portrayed my five officers in the void. “Your appearance has been in my mind all year, becoming clearer and clearer. So when you foolishly ate the skewers in the street, I recognized you at first sight. ”

I sigh, I can't get into this anymore. I still don't understand why he was so passionate about me, but I don't want to find out. If that's the case, what's the point of understanding too much? I look at some fading vines in the yard, and I breathe: "Fursati, I'm leaving the temple tomorrow. ”

“Are you going to see him? ”

“Yes, but don't worry, I'm just going to say goodbye, we won't have anything.” I laughed bitterly, “Me and Rosh, we're all rational people...”

I took off the fat jade lion around my neck and handed it to him: "Give it to the woman you will truly love in the future. ”

He looked at the Jade Lion not picking up, just silent. Half a dozen said, "This is what you are. ”

He also taught me to look up to heaven. Sunset skewed, evening glow stained on his tall back.