Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

Chapter 47: Precursors of a Storm

We have a full day. He wrote a Sanskrit scripture first, and then worked it out verbatim with me, sometimes taking half a day for a word. We are not progressing fast because, although he can speak Chinese fluently, it is still very difficult to form words, especially ancient Chinese, which was 1650 years ago. And I, being able to read ancient books doesn't mean I can write, and I'm very hard at it. However, we do not need to rush. In the future, Rosh, with Yao Xing's support, will set up a large translation station in Chang 'an, with thousands of participants. The Vermouth is said to have involved more than 1,200 people. All we do now is practice and hope to lay the groundwork for him in the future. So look at each other like this and smile, and it melts. Often when the palace ladies come in to serve food and light the lights, they realize how quickly time passes.

There is also an essential part of our common life: sex. As we become more familiar with each other's bodies and reactions, our sex becomes more harmonious. He is not without struggle, and this psychological contradiction has always accompanied him. But besides being a devout Buddhist, he is a man with a man's body and a man's desire. Every time he fought, he surrendered to his body. Love triumphed, at least temporarily over religion. But how long will it last? I can't predict. Strict abstinence has been in place since the Buddha's time. I cannot change his belief in unquestionable values from the age of seven. He has served Buddha much longer than he loved me. I don't want to deprive him of his quest for ideals with love, I just want to implicitly infiltrate him that sex is not a sin and that love and ideals can coexist.

Can love and ideals really coexist? Can a fish and a bear clap go hand in hand? As with an unprovoked philosophical proposition, this contradiction, whether I want to admit it or not, persists. It can be forgotten temporarily in the closed environment during our house arrest, but once we get out of this golden cage, how do we face the world? Bitter smile, so this cage still looks good.

So when I wrote my journal, I kept thinking about why Buddhism had to abandon sexuality and what religion was like with sexuality.

Primitive religions take a positive attitude towards sexuality, admire it, and allow people to enjoy nature's happiness. In the ceremony of the original religion, sexual activity becomes the noblest and most mysterious worship. The underlying reason is that primitive religions arise in the early days of humankind, when productivity lags behind and living in deplorable conditions. Performance brings about racial reproduction, adding more population to tribes.

But as productivity gradually improves and material pursuits fail to satisfy spiritual pursuits, systematic theoretically based religions emerge. Nearly all higher religions have the fundamental principle of denying the present world, worshipping the hereafter and pursuing eternal life. But one can feel the irreplaceable happiness of other things in sexual activity. If one affirms sex, it affirms the joy of this world, and it affects faith and loyalty to the claim that the soul is saved.

Religion worships gods, and gods are superior to the common man. Religious spirituality, while the common man's desire to indulge in the joy of the flesh and mouth in this world, cannot be on the same level as the common man's. When religion rises to the spiritual level, it is necessary to deny the happiness gained in this world, to elevate the physical need to the spiritual stage, to elevate it so that people can have faith and pursue it.

Hinduism worships abstinence from vegetarianism, but in Khajuraho there is a world-famous temple of sex in which tens of thousands of sculptures of various sexual postures are engraved. Sexual postures that these ordinary people can't do are only enjoyed by the angels in heaven. Hinduism has a story where a young man is indulged in the joy of this world and is unwilling to preach. And the angels questioned him, saying that he had already enjoyed everything in this world, and that he was unwilling to give up his vested enjoyment, and to go to heaven in a painful way. So the angel brought him to heaven, and he saw the most beautiful woman that the world could not find, and he tasted the delicious dishes that the world could not make, and everything was incomparable. So when he came back, he was no longer interested in the women of the world, the usual food. Then, relying on painstaking repairs, he finally went to the paradise he wanted after his death.

“What is it that you write every day? ”

I closed my notebook and smiled back at him: "Write about my own mood. If I had to leave you one day, at least there would be a blank letter reminding me of the little drip that happened with you. ”

“Aiqing, we will never part again...” He trembled, holding me tightly, like a drowning man in the sea holding a broken mast tightly. His head rested on my shoulder, his cheeks on my neck, and his new stubble stuck me in a slight pain.

Can you do that? Why do I always have a bad feeling? Rosh, your intelligence is higher than mine. I'm afraid you've smelled the smell long before the storm hit...

“The beard is growing again. Come on, let me shave it for you. ”

The precursor to the storm finally arrived twentieth day after our house arrest career, Lu Guang wants to see Rosh. I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't allow it. I was going to insist, but he said to me, “Ai Qing, do you want Lu Guang to know how important you are to me? ”

Watching him leave tenaciously, my heart trembled and my eyelids jumped straight. I can guess that Lu Guang saw him for the purpose of seeing if he had been wiped out of his mind by a luxurious life. I can also guess the end of this meeting, and Rosh will certainly refuse to acknowledge him. I am more aware of the consequences of this rejection, and Lu Guang will suppress his sacred authority among the people in a manner that is publicly insulting.

I don't know how long I waited. When he appeared heavily in front of the sleeping palace with his iron blue face, my heart kept falling...

“You still reject him, don't you? ”

He lifted his eyes, and his eyes were heavily tired. “Don't worry, I'm fine...”

I looked around and looked at the luxury hall under house arrest for twenty days: “This gourmet food will soon be over...” Turning to him, I said, “Rosh, if you don't, he won't have the patience to wait. The rest, there is only one way. ”

He looked a little pale. Smart as him, you can't guess Lu Guang's last method.

“Since you cannot be used by him, he will find ways to destroy your reputation and suppress your prestige among the people of the West. As a result, your appeal is lost, and the threat to him is gone. ”

“Irene, these, Rosh all thought about. But what will happen if I succumb to him?” He looked out the window at the pure blue sky, full of compassion and a clean and handsome face, "the people were devastated and the spirits were charred. I'm more humiliated than a tiger. ”

“He'll make fun of you for riding a bad cow horse in front of everyone and watching you fall one time. ”

“It's just physical humiliation. What's your fear?” Clear eyes look at me, and the corners of my mouth smile, "Ai Qing, aren't you afraid to blame Buddha for leaking the planet for Rosh? ”

“I don't have any other planes to leak.” My eyes were red, and it was painful to think of such humiliation. But why only a few words, if I could be more detailed, I might be able to find a way to prevent it. “Rosh, all I know is that he'll let you ride a bad cow horse, but I don't know when or where it's going to happen, and I don't know what other more cruel means he's using against you. ”

“No, but the heart. None of this is Rosh's biggest fear..."

I paused, probed him. What's his biggest fear? He turned away from my eyes and stared at the blue sky in front of the window. Under the sky, a few birds fly, free and happy. When can we fly out of the cage? It is not just the cages that hold our bodies, but more importantly the cages of our own minds.

Thereafter, our days fell into an unknown tragedy. Every day when translating the scriptures, I'm good, he's good, he's distracted, but he smiles at each other. The evening became more obsessed and intense, each time seemingly a moment of soul destruction before the end of the world, until exhausted to sleep in each other's arms.

Five days later, he was called away by Lu Guang, and this time he stayed longer. When he came back heavy, he had a big red bag on his glossy forehead. What scared me the most was not the redness, but the despair he'd never had on his face.

I jumped up and held on to his shaking body and sat him down, heartbroken to pieces. Ask him exactly what happened, but he doesn't answer, and his eyes are stuck. He tried to get the ointment, but he pulled it.

He looked at me with a heart and touched my face: "Ai Qing, as soon as you are free, you go to Fu Sha Ti's and he will spend his life protecting you.” He suddenly held me in his arms, his heart beating from his chest more disturbed than ever. “The Buddha pities, hears Rosh pray, sends you here. Even if it's less than a month, Rosh is so grateful he can't ask for anything else. ”

This resolute tone made me freeze all over at once. The last thing I was worried about, the last thing I wanted to happen, it really happened. Earn him open, stare him in the eye, bite him hard in the corner of his mouth, only this pain can make me speak soberly. “Rosh, tell me, are you wondering how to die? ”

His eyes covered me with excitement and sadness, but he turned his head quickly and shook his shoulder steadily: “Ai Qing, don't be ridiculous, how could I... ”

“Rosh, have you forgotten your mission to promote the life of Fabfa Pu?” I interrupted him and shouted, “Have you forgotten how many other people in Nakahara struggled in this mess? ”

“And me, after a thousand years, I'd rather abandon my family and come to you with radiation than spend a month with you.” I growl, I've never been so angry before, "If you love me, you have to live for love, that's great! ”

“Death is the easiest thing. It is the strong who endure the burden of living and ultimately complete their mission.” I grabbed his hand, harshly bitten it down. A hint of saltiness mixed with tears poured into the mouth, bitter and sour.

I looked up, watching him tremble, but withstood the pain, and drank loudly: "Rosh, remember, your mission is more important than your life! ”

Staring into my eyes, the despair of the past gradually warmed him up. He suddenly laughed out loud, and his tone was full of flashbacks: "Okay! Axel, stay alive. We live together!” Looking at the dental marks on the back of his hand, he nodded firmly, "Rosh never said the word 'dead' after that. ”

And then he regained his constant tenderness, laughing into a light smile: "Ai Qing, you always have a way to keep Rosh awake. ”

I shouted and painfully searched everywhere for medicine. I just wanted to leave a toothmark. Why couldn't I just control it?

“Ai Qing, after a thousand years you'd rather abandon your family and come to me with radiation. Does a thousand years mean the difference in time between heaven and earth? Your family is waiting for you in heaven now, isn't it? What's the radiation? ”

His hands shaking with ointment, he looked up and saw his contemplative eyes. “Rosh...”

His mouth was gently covered, and he gently covered me with another hand that did not need to be applied. “Leaking the sky machine is not a good thing, Buddha will blame you. So be careful in the future. Not even to Rosh. ”

That night I was in trouble. The most commonly said thing about a lady in a clear passage is —— I know the outcome, but I don't know the process. But for me, 16150 years was too long before Kangxi's sons. Even the record of a thousand words in the history book is hard to guarantee how much authenticity, not to mention the process behind this phrase, which I cannot predict at all.

It is he who sighs in the middle of the night without a trace. He should also feel my insomnia. It's just that we all remain silent until the sun clears up.

After just one day, he was summoned by Lu Guang again. As soon as he left, a lady from the palace came in to change clothes and told me that they were up to date, patting clothes, eyes and movements filled with hints. I doubtlessly flipped over and found a piece of silk pad with words in it.

The sparkling letters hurried, and the brushes were scratched. “Yesterday, Big Brother and Lu Guang had a strong argument. Lu Guangguang blackmailed you. Big brother touched the pillars in anger. He tried to kill himself. Fortunately, he was blocked. But Lu Guangguang has given up convincing Big Brother, and now I fear he is deliberately disadvantaged. Three days later, Wang and Lu went to the Bird Leaving the Temple, and Big Brother would be taken away. Whatever Lu Guang requests, he should persuade his brother to give his consent for the time being. Now, only you can persuade him. Remember.”

Touching columns with anger, touching columns with anger... that striking red and swollen bag, it turns out... the pad falls, like a dead leaf, floating weakly, sticking to the ground. The windows were still blue and the hot wind blew in after the summer afternoon, the back sweated and the clothes were sticky and extremely uncomfortable.

“Lu Guang blackmailed you." Is that what worries you the most? Everything in front of you becomes blurred and sour into your nose. Skinny body like that, standing up for me in a day that won't rain. Irene, you're from the 21st century. Forget about history and save your loved ones with all your strength.

He returned shortly after, still pale, but still stubborn. “Ai Qing, he has promised to let you go and you can leave tomorrow.” His most common move when he was with me was to show comfort on his bright face and reach out and touch my face. “When I get out, I go to Fursati's, and when I get free, I come to you. ”

“Rosh, did you promise him anything to let me go? ”

“He's leaving the Great Temple Buddha in three days, and I'll go with him. ”

I turned around, swallowed back the tears I wanted to roll down, breathed a little, looked back at him. “Rosh, did you know he could blackmail you for trying to get me to hit a column? How could you let me go so easily with your plea?” Sigh, he's smart, but he always thinks people are good, and he doesn't know the art of conspiracy. “I'm afraid I won't be able to get to Fursati's house tomorrow when I get out of this courtyard. ”

His face was whiter, he bit his lower lip and closed his eyes painfully: "I thought I could at least do something for you. It's not that Rosh didn't think about it, it's just that I can't think of any other way to let you go. I can only believe Lu Guang once...” Open your clear eyes and look at me sadly, “I'm sorry, Rosh is incompetent, I can't protect you...”

“Rosh, don't worry about me. I have the skills to get away.” I leaned into his arms and approached his heartbeat. “I'm just trying to figure out how we can get away together. ”

We sat snuggly on the carpet and the sky was completely darkened. The Miyagi came in and lit the lights, and Rosh told them to back off. It's September, and the summer heat is over, and the night is cool, but it's like a winter at zero degrees Celsius. In a big palace, we can only find heat in each other.