Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

Chapter 72 First Dispute (2)

“I've been helping you, never complaining in front of you because I love you. Love so much that I'd rather starve with you than go back to my own time. You want to keep so many people, you want to keep them alive. Well, use all my means to help you achieve that. I am also a follower of Machiavelli and can do whatever it takes to achieve my purpose. My purpose is to live! So what if we change history? So what if you take it or not? None of this can stop me from living on my own. I want your heart to live on. ”

“Aiqing, you...”

I couldn't bear to see the pain and shock accumulated in his eyes, and turned my heart toward home. After a long walk, the sound of the footsteps of the sand sounded. Knowing it was him, he bit the corner of his mouth and walked faster. He's been following me, no words. The sound of heavy footsteps, like a heavy hammer, struck my trembling heart. Tears slipped and wiped away. Big mouth, deep breath of cold air, this time, let me do it again. If it doesn't spill out, I'm not gonna make it. How much longer can I last...

We went back in silence. At night he held me as usual, but he remained silent. The next day it was time for him to let his disciples go out and beg, but he kept himself at home and looked at me in silence. When I walked out the door, I could also feel the grieving look behind me, like a sword slicing my heart. I took a deep breath, bit my lips tight, and couldn't hold back.

Hu Yanping escorted me back with two battles of food on his back that day. Rosh didn't go out for a day, still silent, and his painful eyes stared at me silently. We, still silent. The family also saw our differences and didn't dare speak much. Everyone fell asleep early in the morning.

Apply ointment to his injured hand before going to sleep. Through the faint moonlight outside the window, look closely at his wounds. It's almost healed. Just stick to the medicine for a few more days and you'll be fine. I looked up and saw his gaze gleaming on me, lips flashing, seemingly trying to say something. I turned away, put his hand down, and turned to the bed. Lie in the quilt, face the wall, and shrink in the corner.

He went to bed, lay down beside me, and, as usual, held me in his arms. I left him in his arms. Even if we don't, we know they're not asleep. It's been almost 30 hours since we've spoken, and this is the first time we've had such a big conflict, because of our differences in values.

Suddenly my heart is tired. Who's wrong with who? We've been in love for so long, we thought it was his hard to change identity and beliefs that lay between us. It now appears that the difficulty of breaking through tremendous resistance to love is far less compatible with the plight of the world in famine. Is it really a poor couple, Pepsi? Can't love be as much as we love each other?

He felt his feet rubbing under his nest with a slight chirping sound. He suddenly remembered the frostbite on his feet, which must have been due to the warmth in his nest, and started itching again when he got hot. I got up dressed and touched his feet at the end of the bed. Hold him in your arms and massage him so he can bleed and itch.

Rubbing the room, he sat up, retracted his feet violently and held me tight. Lie down in front of his thin chest and feel him trembling slightly. Soft lips in the dark put on my face, scouring all the way to find my lips and sucking them chestnuts. I answered him and kissed him in the eye with his head. The salty moss slipped on his tongue, and he was really suppressing his voice to cry. The embankment in his heart completely collapsed, intertwining his lips and teeth. He also trembled his lips into my eyes. Soft lips slipped over and this was the alarm, turns out, it wasn't just him crying.

Rosh, I'm sorry, I'm from the 21st century, I'm more selfish than you. You are not wrong, although modern people will not recognize your values. At the same time, my generation will think that you are so insistent on yourself that your height is a bit corrupt. But what about me? Must I be right to be contaminated with the modern notion of Machiavellian thought? Anything to keep you alive is just an excuse I found to use such disgraceful means...

“You're not wrong...” he swallowed in my ear with a very low voice, "Rosh has never tasted human illness since he was a child. All I know is that the scriptures explain that these things are useless in the face of disaster. We can't save people without food. Even though it's hard to save people, forget how much power you really have. Not to mention the fact that famine has been spreading for so long that even we have to endure hunger. It's because my husband has caused you suffering together...”

I bite the corner of my mouth to keep myself from crying. More than a dozen people lay outside the curtain. I hugged him, kissed him on the lips, clasped in his ear and said, "No, I'm sorry. Rosh, not you incompetent. No one can change the situation, including me as a future person. We are not in power. You, who have been deprived of divine power by the Lu Clan, are, like me, only a civilian in the face of disaster. You've done everything you can: beg every day, go to your place of power to get food. Now, let me do my best. Whatever the consequences, I will bear them by myself, and I will never involve you..."

He sealed my words with a kiss and wrapped them around. Rubbing me tightly into my chest, my firm voice softly sounded: "Rosh has been thinking about this all day. Monson is always better than Lu, so you did the right thing. As for the barrier you created, you're my wife, and you built it because Rosh was trying to save lives. Whatever the pain of hell, boil it hot, burn it, close the copper entrance, Rosh will bear it for you. ”

Tears couldn't help but slip and swallow on his shoulder: “Don't...”

He smiled softly, holding my arms and sending a steadfast force: "Then we'll be together. ”

“Okay!” kissed his cheek, leaning down in his ear and saying, “Rosh, as long as we get through this, I won't go on. Give me some time..."

He kissed me and slightly rubbed the rubbish on my face, whispering in his ear: “I don't want you to go, it's also selfish. Monson doesn't know you're from the future, but what you're saying is it might make him more interested in you. Ai Qing, your insight into wisdom, is what women of this era don't have. If he takes possession of you...”

“Don't worry, I have a way to protect myself. If I hadn't wanted to, no man in the world could have forced me.” Tighter to his chest, fingers crossed into his hands, "not to mention that you are not a nobody, and he is not a monarch now. Strong grabbing does him no harm, and a man as smart as him naturally knows the trade-offs. ”

“Rosh also understands your ability to protect yourself. It's just that getting your wife to go to another man's house every day, always...”

I'm stunned. Is he jealous? There was a little sweetness in my bitter heart, and I cried and laughed. If it wasn't in the dark, I'd really like to see his jealous expression. Cover his mouth and stick it in his ear and ask, "Rosh, do you believe I love you without shaking your heart? ”

He nodded hard.

Spread out his palms, stick them on his palms, and hit him silently: "I swear to you, there will be absolutely no transgressions. Are you sure about that? ”

“If it's so difficult, you have to live with Rosh. How can a husband not believe your heart? It's just that Monson is not a good man...” He sighed slightly and kissed my forehead, “Be careful...”

We held each other tight, fingers wrapped, and kissed silently. In his kiss, I thought, "This will give me strength, the power to live..."

The next day, I finished the class and walked out of Monson's door carrying a grain bag. Surprised to find Rosh standing with Hu Yanping. When he saw me, Rosh had a shallow smile on his face that hadn't smiled for a long time. The whole person was glorious because of that laugh. The sun is rare in winter, and the golden glow shines on his brown red monk robe, adding a touch of warmth to this hazy winter. Snow melts more, dripping down the roof like a little rain.

Hu Yanping took over my food and blinked deeply at me. Between them, Rosh held his hand and walked in the other direction. Looking back, Hu Yanping has gone far with the food.

“Rosh, where are we going? ”

He carefully helped me through a melting puddle and smiled back at me, glowing like the sun: “I'll know when I get there. ”