Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

Chapter 75 Waiting Before Dawn (1)

Lu Shao brought dozens of baskets of buns and hungry people poured like wolves. Without strength, he climbed to the ground to receive the bun. The chewing sounds sand, eating everyone's nerves. Some people eat too hard to choke on their throats. Unhelped, by the time we found out, it was still alive. Lu Shao's silent face announced the order of Lu Guangtian to divide the field wheat seeds, demanding that the displaced persons register within five days and return immediately to their farmland.

Without gratitude, Dade, everyone was crying to get the wheat. I held the dog and waited in the registry office. After a day down, I did not see a woman named Qin Su-e. Ask, and nobody knows. I went back to find a job, and he had a roster of all the soldiers. After a long time of searching, I finally saw a few words cut off by a red bar: Dunhuang Liuyuan, Wei Changxi.

Take the dog home and meet the people who have received food and are ready to return home on the way. Stand on the side of the road and gauge every woman who walks past me, hoping to see the dog's mother. He's lost his father, and I really don't want him to be an orphan. The sky grew darker, the wind rose dust and blew ruthlessly on those who survived. And they stood, and their faces were filled with shadows, and their eyes were in a panic that they knew not. When I think back to a North Korean folk song called "The Language of the Song", I feel sad.

Running down the mountain. Read me alone, wild and wild.

Chao Faxincheng, Twilight Head. I couldn't speak, my tongue rolled down my throat.

Running water, whimpering. Looking away at Qin Chuan, my heart was cut off.

With this cold poem in mind, it is as if to see these returnees wandering alone on dangerous mountain roads, the spring chill cliff is no greater than the horror in my heart. They, I'm afraid, won't be able to sleep well for the rest of their lives.

Back home, more than two hundred people walked half the way, and they were all anxious to leave this nightmarish place. For the rest of the time, I coddled the crying dogs and accepted their farewell with Rosh. At night, it was discovered that there was no need to squeeze another bedroom together. For the first time in so long, we have a world of two in our own home.

I brought the hot water in and let him rinse. This was firewood that Houyanping spent an afternoon searching everywhere outside the city. He stood in front of the window, and when he heard me scream, he rinsed silently. After that, stand back in front of the window.

“What are you thinking?” I wanted to clean the room, clean it up, but I didn't feel comfortable with his silence.

He didn't look at me, set his eyes on the cold moon outside the window, and his voice was as clear as a cold spring: "Ai Qing, remember when the famine started, I was willing not to let a man starve to death? ”

I sigh, he still thinks about it. “Rosh, don't blame yourself anymore...”

“It's not self-censure. ”

He interrupted me softly, his eyes burning: "I have done all I can to save people. I thought I could keep one person from starving to death, but I only blessed 200 people. More than a hundred thousand people, We saved only two hundred people with our possessions. In the last month, you still survive selling monarchy. ”

He raises his slender hands and looks them over and over again. Bitterly he laughed: "Turns out my own power is so weak. ”

He put his hands down and gazed out the window: “If Rosh had been willing to cling to Lu Guang, he would have been greeted with a false latitude. How many more people can be saved by Ken letting go of his so-called self-esteem and clandestine food for the displaced to live where they stand? ”

I looked up and bathed him in the gloomy moonlight as if he were a lonely tree with sharp edges cut from the side of the moonlight. He laughed bitterly, helplessly and crisply: “At least, there are more than two hundred people. ”

All kinds of thoughts poured through my heart, and I couldn't wait to hear him continue bitterly: “How many more people can I save if I can convince Lusho to give up closing the gates? ”

He turned to face me, and the corner of his mouth was still grinning with cold bitterness: "Ai Qing, I have always insisted on believing in my heart that Jie was good enough to think that this was the right thing to do. After going through this, I realized that I had never understood the trade-offs. ”

He looked up, and the moonlight lit up his eyes, and his voice shouted: "You can do whatever you want to teach Monson's monarchy. The Grand Buddha Law also has convenient rights and interests. But I care too much about my self-esteem, not with the Lu family. But forget that no matter how unconscious they are, they are still the rulers of one side and the lives of the people are in their hands. Isn't it ridiculous that I could have saved more people and stopped the car with my own mantis arm? ”

“Rosh...”

He didn't seem to hear my soft voice, but he was still immersed in his world: "When I was a little girl, I went to school in Jubilee, and I heard a story. Once upon a time, King Pubin got a bird, and Wang wanted to hear it sing, but it didn't ring for three years. The queen said, 'Why don't you suspend the mirror so that it thinks it sees its kind?’ With this method, the bird sees herself in the mirror, moaning and singing. ”

He looked out the window at the cold moon, surrounded by a thousand windows of loneliness. In a moment of silence, the floating voice sounded again: "Ai Qing, since coming to Auntie, Rosh can't save people, can't preach law. Looking around, I was alone and independent. Like that trapped mourning, singing alone on the dead tongue. Do I have to depend on these so-called kingdoms who kill people, like Ma'am, as grass mustard, to save people, to preach? ”

Tears poured into the orbit and the sour flushed his nose. How could a man of such high moral character not contaminated with vulgar dust let go of his self-esteem and think about these compelling trade-offs if he had not witnessed the suffering himself?

Leaning on that shoulder that reassured me, he sighed: “The famous monk who adhered to the firm explained that Ann had said, 'If you do not obey the Lord, the law will not stand.' You used to be honored in the West, partly because you're from, and the Turtles Royal Family is your strong backing. The whole western realm of Buddhist statehood, you from the royal family, naturally do not need to consider dependence on privilege for the purpose of promoting Buddhist law. But Nakahara is completely different from the West. Your strengths disappear when you reach Nakahara. Buddha is already upset here, no one cares about your background, no privilege to support your ideas. ”

He looked at me, and the pain was worse in his eyes. I stretched out my hand to touch his wrinkled eyebrows, heartbroken by his deepening wrinkles.

“Rosh, you should learn from the Buddha. He is from a similar background to you and a member of the royal family of small nations. He practises Buddhism in Boromian geraniums all over the country, which is more difficult than your spreading in the unhappy Middle Plains of Buddhism. You now have at least 24 disciples, and the Buddha had only five disciples in his early days. He is desirable, hard-working. ”

Pause and look back at what you've seen: "Yes, he's married to the king. The Buddha comforted Arashi, the son of the King of Bottle Sha, when he stood on his own and confessed to the Buddha. In the meantime, he contacted businessmen, sought wealthy businessmen to become housekeepers, and accepted the gift of Forest House for the lonely elderly. On the other hand, he also deals with prostitutes, who invite him to eat at the brothel and send him to the garden, which the Buddha accepts with joy. You're more familiar with these scriptures than I am.” (For a kiss interested in how the Buddha preaches the law, please refer specifically to Seasonal Jealousy Lim's "Discussion of Jamuni")

Fingers crossed into his hand, smiling and telling him: "The Buddha was thirty-five years old, preached the law forty-five years, and by the time he was eighty years old, there were only 500 disciples at most. But, you see, even in China, there are definitely more than 500 monks. Sixteen years later, you took 3,000 in Chang 'an. Fifty years later, North Wei wiped out Monson's North Cold, and more than 3,000 monks moved to North Wei Ducheng. It can be seen, however, how much Buddhism has developed in the Plains in just 50 years. ”

“So you're not a lonely bird. You have me, you have the heart to follow your disciples, there is a whole land of thoughts that is still desolate suffering. If you don't come to Nakahara, you're just a respected monk in a small oasis country, and the wheels of time roll, and you disappear into the long river of history. This Buddha is not happy, it's the stage where you develop. It needs you more here, as long as you can stand it all from scratch. ”

“Aiqing...” he sighed, his loneliness in his eyes drifting away, his eyes warming up, rubbing me into his arms, his voice not mourning again. “You can always get Rosh out of trouble at the most confusing times. Starting from scratch, okay, Rosh. Starting from scratch, no more grudges, no more self-righteousness. ”

He looked at me with a warm smile on his face: "It must be the Buddha's will if you are his wife. ”