For Some Reason, the School Goddess Likes to Hang Out at My House

"Pfft. You look surprised, don't you? Did you think maybe they'd even kiss you?

I smile and tell him to make fun of me.

Then I immediately red my cheeks and turned away, complaining, "... you'd think if you were just that close..."

Good......

Looks like he seemed to have as much room as possible.

To those to whom Showa is directed I move my body and look to peek into his face.

And I put my index finger on his lips.

"We will not exercise our strength. My first kiss, because I want it to be a real anniversary."

Flat nature and......

I desperately embrace my nearly trembling fingers.

As luscious as possible...... fascinating......

As you can think of at all......

My body starts to get fever to resist my resistance and my face is so hot that I illusion that I was sprayed with hot water......

The heart beats so hard that it seems to be torn apart to stir me up...... my pulse rips fast.

—— Please calm down.

Please......

I didn't think communicating it as an emotion was such an embarrassment, and then so much thought.

"Commemoration... what are you talking about..."

You can tell that by the look on his face.

I dye it bright red to my ears, and even as I give it a tedious attitude, it conveys that I care about this one.

... You're not really honest.

Usually, I'd say, 'There's something cute about it,' but you can't say it now.

I swallow that word all the time.

"Now I'm refreshed to say half of what I want to say"

I'll hold his hand.

He repeated it over and over and finally gripped it back.

"How much is half... Rin is strong, really..."

"I'm not strong, I'm strong."

"Stronger..."

"Exactly."

I'm never a strong person.

I'm just better at acting than people and I'm just patient......

Like this, you're not ashamed... aren't you?

But I feel like I can be strong for Showa.

You taught me to like people...... if it's for him, I can be strong.

So I can't afford to lose such shame about being “embarrassed” now.

That doesn't mean I can end this offense.

Because if we stop walking around here, the presence of him will overflow from hand.

Because he'll bump his tail like a goldfish, tear it and run away......

So —— I have to say.

You have to tell him straight and like me.

It won't change soon, because we have to get it to him.

I turn my back on him just a little and in the meantime calm my feelings.

Don't shake your shoulders, don't see from him...... get your breath ready......

"Showa kun..."

"Yeah?"

"I am somewhat aware of the circumstances of Showa Kun's house…"

"Oh well... Sorry, let me be careful."

"No...... I'm really helpless, I..."

"... that's not true"

Showa is kind enough to give me a denial.

But I felt bad for that voice, like I was giving up somewhere.

……………………

The silence of each other and the awkward atmosphere surrounds us.

My chest is getting stirred by the unspeakable bitterness......

I bite my lips and open my mouth.

"To me...... I can't make you understand all of Showa's hard feelings, I regret it, but it's impossible. I'm not a party. I can't be irresponsible enough to say," I would understand everything. "

"Well, yes... But I can't help it."

Showa looks up at the sky laughing in mockery.

My chest gets more and more painful watching that.

Feeling hurt over the years.

What you suffer from.

What are you afraid of, what's underlying it...

All of them —— I wouldn't understand them all my life.

That, naturally...

Differences in the environment I lived in, it's impossible for me not to have the same experience.

I want to think together but I can't help you.

Just thinking about it is sad, hard and...

It's -- it's just vain.

It's creepy and even irritating to remember.

Showa feels the pain and loneliness to herself that she can't understand enough...

To speak of it as' understandable 'is arrogant and hypocritical and only makes him suspicious.

So I never speak of it.

But... I don't think I can do anything.

I stroke his head gently, looking lonely.

And wait until he looks this way...... keep gently and gently stroking.

Showa-kun, finally in sight, was looking a little lit up.

"I want to know about you"

I'll hold him again.

Much more than just now so I don't find out about the tremor......

Anyway, strong, hug me.

"He wants to know..."

"I don't mind talking about things I don't know, when I played with Mr. Kato. I don't care what Showa takes for granted, or philosophical. Anyway --"

"--I want to know more about you," I stare him straight in the eye.

"It's not just fun to know, it's something that makes me want to block my ears..."

"I know that. But I still want to know..."

I'm sure you wouldn't understand if I asked.

But you can try to understand.

"Knowing it, I want to be Showa's biggest understander"

This is my wish, arrogant and greedy.

But I can't help but hope.

"Understanding... you're always reading my behavior..."

"That's not what I meant."

I gently deny the words of Showa, who deliberately tries to distract me from the story.

He distorted his mouth at first sight.

The bottom of the dark sea.

It's dark and I can't rise inside even if I want to.

Past trauma is like that......

So as the light I plug in there, I have to pull it out.

"I will change you...... no, I have decided to let it change"

A brighter future than a tied past.

Now, not back in the day.

I can't change the past.

No millionaire, no wise man... can make a difference.

It is in the past that you continue to live in your heart for the rest of your life and sometimes make yourself a geese... erode.

But —— you can get past the past.

No matter how hard it is, people are able to get over it in the past that makes them want to cry.

However, there are several walls there, and it is not surprising that they are semi-productive.

Pushing the wall yourself will exhaust you and exhaust you along the way.

Assuming it breaks through, people don't realize that scattered shards are stabbing their bodies.

I will remain a lump and hurt myself at some point......

"You mean change... I think it's changed a lot..."

"I'll show you more"

"You're strong, really..."

"You two can do it."

"Oh well..."

As I tell Showa, who listens in silence, speak gently...... I will take the words with me in my ear.

"I'll chase you even if you run away"

"I'll support you if you're about to fall"

"I'll lend you my breasts if you want to cry"

"We laugh together when we laugh"

"I'll break it from the front, even if there's been some ordeal."

Just like I was, I think there's something in his chest that breaks the wall.

I'm gonna step on it and stagnate. I'm gonna push him, you should be able to pull your hand and walk with him.

To him who looks up at the sky and doesn't try to give me a look...... I have to say here.

That's the same as I said in the amusement park before.

"I will teach Showa to fall in love. Make it so full that I can't think of anything else. And --"

I put my index finger on Showa just a little further away from him and stick a gun to his chest.

And I declare.

It's just not a "be prepared" declaration.

Nor is it a declaration of war that challenges the battle.

This is like my vow to shoot my heart.

--It's my readiness.

"I'm going to dye you my color!

End of summer vacation.

The sea at night is dark, anyway, and black.

But that's just for the night.

So that there is no night without dawn, so that the sea will all regain its blue and beautiful colour.

Sometimes black turns into a clear color.

Like the future ahead --.