For Some Reason, the School Goddess Likes to Hang Out at My House

"Nagaki. What do you think and what do you want to do now?

The words Rin's father tells him play again and again in his brain.

A little more, I felt that query echoing my heart, which I had been surprised just to think I was going to ask around.

"... Rin's straight line was his father gave in, wasn't it?"

"No, no, Rin and I are different."

"Really?

"I suppose so. Rin is“ pure ”if you can metaphor me, and I am“ impure ”. I know it's effective to do this, until I'm acting that way."

Indeed, Rin pushes anyway with a swine rush.

Anything was a direct ball when I asked, and in a way it was easy to understand.

But I didn't feel that way about Rin's father.

The discomfort I felt even though it was the same direct ball...... but the reason is convincing.

But...

"Is that what you can tell me...?

"If I didn't tell you, you'd split your thoughts on extra reckoning, wouldn't you? Well, I'm not saying this is impossible because it's gonna be hard to say in your mouth."

Rin's father smiles bitterly and exhales with hot water in his face.

Then he fixed his posture and looked to heaven to miss something.

"But I didn't know you were going to talk to me face to face like this."

"Right. I'm surprised too... maybe the world is too narrow."

"Hehe, it must be"

A man I met by chance.

Even though we didn't have much conversation, the relationship was connected around.

I guess this is what you call a strange fate......

"Sure... is this the fourth time I've seen you, including before? Remember the day we first met?

"Yep. When you were in junior high, right? Thank you then."

"Oh? I thought you'd be completely deluded."

"Because you lent me a handkerchief. I remember a boulder."

"Phew, yeah," he smiled, staring at my body.

Now if they saw me lick it around, it would be goosebumps, but they seemed to observe one way or another.

"You've become a healthy body from what I've seen. For one thing, I'm relieved by that fact."

Thanks to Rin.

"I like it when you say it straight. As a father, I'm happy to be complimented on my daughter."

"No......"

"But you admit it quite honestly. That's kind of different from what my daughter told me, isn't it?

You know what I'm asking, this guy.

You smile, but you look so mean...

It's not what I was hearing right now.

The reason must have an approximate conjecture.

But you dared ask me because you're waiting for words to come out of my mouth.

I swallow my saliva and try to hold back the tension that comes in.

"I honestly think it's no use hiding things on this occasion. Besides, the only thing I can do to take care of myself... is this."

"About this... right? Nothing. I don't think I need to be humbled."

"No... because I'm just really being given"

This is true.

During the months I started dealing with her, I was just given and helped...

I am so thankful that Rin can't give me back.

While that accumulates every day, I have to give it back at all... but I haven't.

If I'm gonna do something, she's gonna give me something back a few times what I've done.

Thank you, and I'm glad...

"That's what you say, Nagaki. Rin himself is getting it, right?

All of a sudden, my hands were on my head and my body was stretched out.

I think I heard something suspicious about my ears, and I move my gaze to Rin's father, who I fear.

He smiled gently, just staring straight at me.

"... Really? I don't remember giving Rin anything..."

"That's not true. Rin got an uncontrollable emotion from you."

"Out of control... The way you put it now, it sounds like you pushed a nasty substitute..."

"Ha, that was a bad way to put it. It's troublesome and it's hard, but it can't be lacking. It's necessary."

"... Really?

"That's right. The old Rin lacked emotional ups and downs, and his interest in humans was sparse. Besides, I suck at expressing myself... no, no, no, I was in trouble."

"That changed because of you. That kid is," Rin's father said happily.

However, that look looks lonely somewhere even though you smile.

There seems to be a mix of delightful, sad, complex emotions.

An unimaginable side from Rin today.

But when I think back a lot... there were occasions when people around me responded to salt.

I mean, you used to be like that...

The attitude I only know makes me feel a little superior and happy.

"Rin is a hard-working man, and even though he works harder than anyone else, he doesn't understand that around him. Rin is a genius around me, so I put it in a lump sum. It was her problem, too."

"Right...... So did I at first."

"Well, you seem to have saved that aspect, too. In that sense, I can't say I owe it to you."

Rin is amazing, the boulder is the rear god.

I live in a different world. I live here!

I thought of that at first.

But the more we spend time together, the more humane we become, and the harder we get to peek at her endeavors.

I would certainly have the talent I was born with.

But Rin has nothing to be proud of or hush about.

I work hard on everything, and I work twice as hard on people.

That's why he's so amazing... he's elevated to a fascinating being.

But it's only her power.

Her efforts were rewarded.

It just changed from before depending on the result.

"Rin may indeed have changed. But I don't think I gave it to you. Because it was the person who made the choice to change, and I didn't want to be there."

So I shook my head left and right and denied his words.

I see, but you're right.

"What?"

"You didn't give it to me, so I don't need it back. That's what you're trying to say, isn't it? So you don't have to thank me, and you don't have to feel obliged."

"Yes..."

I thought they'd argue, but I didn't think they'd agree.

That's unexpected, and I clog the words.

Rin's father, who saw how it was going, came with words as if not to give him a think gap.

"But I'm sure my daughter would say the same thing." I didn't mean to give it to Showa either. "

…………

"Or even once Rin said, 'I'm doing it for you. Thank you.' Did you say that?

"... I didn't"

"That's the thing. Neither do you, but so is my daughter. Because I want to, because I want to, so I just do it. If you say it without choosing a word, I mean --"

"I'm just being self-satisfied."

I didn't even have words to argue with right away.

'That's the way I say it to Rin, who's trying so hard...' I wanted to complain, but it just leaks my breath out of my mouth.

Self-satisfaction.

Just a treat.

This has a homogeneous meaning in a way.

I've been running away with this.

I did it because I wanted to.

So you don't have to feel anything.

That's why I've been using it. My escape route was easily blocked......

"You, Nagaki,“ you owe me, so I have to give it back. "It's all I've been given, so I have to give it back. That's what you think, isn't it?

"... Yes"

"Well, then, that's a mistake."

From my mouth I said, "Huh...?" My voice leaked unexpectedly.

Rin's father, who heard about it, leaves his body in the hot tub with his arms on the edge and looks up to heaven.

Then he opened his mouth to teach me.

"In the first place, there is no such thing as borrowing money for self-satisfying acts that we take for granted. All that exists is gratitude that you feel more unilaterally when you receive it. It's just a good excuse for your body to deduce gratitude with a damaging sentiment like borrowing. So..."

Breathe heavily and look at me with a crisp and sharp eye.

Things change for me.

"To lid one's emotions on account of a debt of gratitude… no more,"

His words, which shot at the target, made my heart run through pain.

I want to get out of this place right away and finish this story...... I would think so if it were meant to be.

As always, you just have to pierce the indifference and bluntness.

That's what I've decided...

But I even forgot the circumstances, and I accidentally saw his face.

Same as Rin, clear eyes that see through everything.

He's staring gently at me with those eyes that give me peace of mind.

"... you can ask me... okay?

"Oh, of course"

He smiled briskly and shook his head vertically.

Unlike the increase in body temperature caused by a long bath when you think about what you're going to talk about now, only your face gets hot.

Palpitations have increased in intensity and are likely to tear apart now.

"I think people leave one day."

No matter how close you get, people change if the environment changes.

Friends I've been close to.

Thoughtful lover.

This is all too, not forever.

Even my family is.

The relationship ends lightly......

♪ Until death divides us both ♪

There are words like this, but in other words, there is definitely an end to it.

Death is an extreme example at the end of the period, but even before that, the relationship ends easily.

No, Ninglo would be quite a lot.

Fights, mistakes, and new encounters attract me and at the same time move away from the original thing.

I can't help it.

Being a person, emotions don't listen.

It sprouts suddenly, and suddenly disappears.

So, "Always Together," “I Pledge Forever"... the idea is unlikely.

"If what you lose from the source is confirmed, you don't have to get involved. Don't notice, if you don't think about it, you can stay zero. The hardest part is losing it from having it..."

"I see."

"That idea remains unchanged. Thoughts stained since birth will not go away easily, and it is impossible to accept everything easily"

I was good at pushing emotions to death.

- Give it up.

—— Throw it away.

What I don't see is the usual.

Blunt, unaware, lazy, unattractive, good for me with someone like that.

And until Rin leaves me, he stays with me inert and engages in a squishy hippo life.

That's easier than that.

It sucks at least, but I wish you'd stayed away from me with that.

I won't lose it if I don't have anything.

If it doesn't exist, it won't even disappear.

Because I thought that was best.

I thought that way —— I didn't need to feel lonely.

But...

"But I... I want to be someone who can stand next to Rin. I'm starting to think so."

This relationship may end now.

That could be tomorrow.

If I get out of the bath, there may not be Rin there.

One day it will.

Even if I understand that, I want to stay next door for a little while longer.

If it's hard to disappear or even a small amount of time to stay together --I want to spend some time with you.

But now I don't deserve to sit next to her.

"But as it is now, I am a fragile light that will be sumptuous even next door. Even I could be her shadow like that. For the worst shadow of my life..."

As a shitty shadow, we're together like hipster wipes.

Keep tying her up like a parasite that eats her.

That's "hippo".

I don't do anything just to be given.

I can certainly be such a person.

"Sweet to yourself, given as much as you can be satisfied with now..., because it's easy if you just depend on it"

Continue to be fed like livestock and be satisfied only with the comfort.

I don't need any thoughts.

Such a sweet thought would be easy in all respects.

But...

"Well, you can't... It's just hard for me to push my emotions to death and just sweeten myself... to stand next to each other."

"Why do you think I can't?

"Because I..."

I bite my lips and breathe heavily.

And I saw Rin's father waiting silently for me to open his mouth.

"Because I can't hide anymore —— I like Rin, this feeling"

Feelings that started flowing.

If I didn't want to be like my parents, I felt like I had decided I should never let them bud......

I wanted to fake it, I didn't want to admit it, I wanted to throw it away...... that thought.

That doesn't stop anymore, like going down the rapids.

—— It was definitely starting to flow in me.