For Some Reason, the School Goddess Likes to Hang Out at My House

Would it have been long enough?

I don't know the exact time.

Time would be running out for sure, but the situation that is happening now was driving my time interval crazy.

The room is quiet and silent.

All you can hear is Rin's exhale and the rubbing sound of the cloth you make when you move your body.

Rin hasn't stopped crying already, but apparently he's not going to move from here.

As always, with my chin on my shoulder and my arms spinning around my back,

When I say that, I have such an occasional glance with Rin that we both turn away...

I was just doing that repetition.

It's like getting hot from the core of your body every time you repeat that interaction... I feel that heat all over your body.

Even though the air conditioning stuck in the room does run, it doesn't cool down a bit because of this heat.

Originally, the heat is unpleasant, but only this fever seemed oddly comfortable.

"Um, Showa..."

Reacting to Rin's voice, I look at her.

Rin, with her eyes together, brought her face closer together with her seemingly wanting eyes.

"Or he said his face was close."

"Not close"

"No, that's..."

"Do it"

Say the word of refusal briefly.

I felt a strong will from Rin's eyes, and I was pressured by it and closed my eyes.

For some reason in my head, I said, 'Did you paint a lip?' and care like a woman comes to mind.

... No, to a boulder. That sounds early.

My body must have reacted to such a mental upset.

I felt naturally, and my mouth was filled with strength.

But I never hit anything in my mouth, and instead, the sound of her head hitting this one because of Cocksucker and me.

"... what I was doing wasn't a mistake, was it?"

Whimpering like that, her exhale hits her face.

Sweet, mind-blowing smell of her......

That felt close, and I swallowed my saliva.

"Really... glad to hear it"

"Pfft. To be honest, this one smells kind of bright, too."

"It was a lot of embarrassment."

"I'm your son because I was embarrassed too"

Rin's face detaches and the heat hits from the contact area.

I make sure Rin leaves with a thin eye and then I open my eyes.

Then, when I saw her again, she turned to me with a reddish face and a smile on her face.

... that look is against the rules.

Combined with the original charm, that smile looks brighter than usual.

I couldn't see Rin like that and scratched her cheek to deflect my gaze from her.

"Sorry I bothered you so much..."

"Nothing's fine. Neither bothering nor thinking is fresh and not bitter at all for me"

"You're strong Rin..."

"Showa is the one who's strong."

"Oh well... But there are things that bother me. I always thought I was straight and just pushing."

"Even I can be troubled. Because this is the first time it's all happened, and I know it's not always the right thing to do."

Rin laughs lonely and puts his head on my shoulder again.

I slapped that head gently.

Rin is always straight.

That hasn't changed since we met.

Even if there was something troubling about my parents, like before, it always seemed like there was no stray in a straight ball against me.

But —— no.

The truth is she was anxious, too.

I wasn't thinking about it...

... No, that's not it.

I was just turning away, trying to be blunt so I wouldn't notice... I was actually feeling it.

If you watch her get sweeter from time to time, that's easy to imagine.

Rin was sure of me in his actions.

—— Is it really rejected?

—— Am I reacting with my actions?

I was sure of that by sweetening it.

Because I'm anxious, because I want certainty, because I don't know the words...

By touching my skin, I was trying to know how I felt.

Because I was trying to hide that, too.

Because I shut my heart and put up a line of defense.

--Rin probably wanted to know my deep psychology.

"I'm sorry I just made you nervous"

"Yeah. That's okay. I'm only halfway there, but I'm honestly glad. Showa-kun moved on for me... So never mind the old days."

He shook his neck to the left and right, and Rin grinned.

'Never mind,' she says... but you shouldn't be convinced by that.

... I'm a terrible guy.

You have to admit that.

Because I've been putting up a wall for months since I met her...

It was all as “Think of Rin and act”, “Don't engage with people like me", “Don't get me wrong about her behavior", yes I was telling my own mind.

But the nature of this behavior is different.

That's what I told myself, but in the end, it was my own protection.

—— Because I don't want to hurt myself.

--Because I don't want to feel that way again.

I was just running away for her and shifting responsibilities......

I can't believe I was rejecting her for her anxiety but hard work... it's cowardly and irresistible —— cowardly.

Aware of it made me angry with my attitude so far and at the same time my chest was painful.

"You don't have to worry about a past that doesn't exist anymore"

Rin called out as if he had guessed into my heart.

I move my body a little so I can see her face.

"Rin told me, 'You don't have to worry about it'. You have to care...... Because of what used to happen, I don't know what the impact will be in the future..."

That's what I said, as I denied Rin's words.

Regret for the action I took then, and because I was showing such an attitude, it's impossible not to care.

I had that attitude because it's a fact that I can't change, like I only have anxiety in the future...

As she sighed and glanced at her shoulder, Rin stared sharply at her.

"I still don't think I need to worry about it"

"No, but..."

"The past is nothing but a metaphor, a memory and a record. You don't have to worry about things that have disappeared, even if you're immersed in memories."

………………

"All we can do is live the present based on the" past ”. You don't have to suffer from the past or the future. The past doesn't exist anymore, and the future doesn't exist yet… even if it bothers you, it's just this time."

I listened to Rin in silence.

Usually even one of the rationales is to say, but nothing comes up.

About that time, Rin's words stabbed him in the chest.

Do you want to live the present based on the past...

That's a pile to think about and get over.

I dropped my gaze on the floor and exhaled.

Rin strokes my head gently like that.

"So if Showa works hard, it means she only has to act."

"Ha, sounds like Rin. But it's thanks to Rin that I want to work hard."

"No, I'm not. Showa is the only one I chose. I chose to change, to move on… I chose to change."

"Oh well..."

"So I want you to feel confident without being humbled. Instead of worrying about your past self and regretting it... please rejoice in your present changes and hope for the future"

Rin supports my face bending over with both hands and smiles gently.

It's a gentle grin that encloses everything, the Goddess of Mercy.

And

"Showa is never alone."

Unexpectedly, I felt my chest grabbed.

At the same time I feel my feelings, which were about to get dark, gradually clearing up.

Always is.

Saved by one of her words, my heart is excited by her presence.

... We have to work hard.

That can't be a half-baked effort, but I want to try not to run away.

Because I want to be able to stand next to such a nice woman...

I nodded and stared straight at her face without looking away.

"Hey Rin. I was just..."

"When you say that earlier, you mean 'I want you to wait'?

"Oh."

"So what should I wait for that 'wait for me'? If you can, please don't mislead me."

"It's, uh..."

………………

Stare at each other silently.

I don't even think I'm going to get the word out, I'm not coming out well.

Even the feeling of impatience just gets stirred up.

He looked at me like that and laughed all the time, poking me in the nose.

"I'm sorry. I just got a little greedy and mean"

"... greedy, you."

"Pfft. Now I feel like I'm in the mood for someone I like."

I grinned innocently like a child planning a prank.

"I know, Showa... People are not so easy to do as to stomp on everything. It won't change immediately yesterday and today, and I don't want to force Showa to finally stand on the starting line."

"... I'm glad to hear it. But I can't believe I can't say anything, as a man... you know, you're pathetic, right? I'm timid, and I'm not sure..."

My feelings are hardening.

I'm still anxious about what's to come... but I just have to do it.

Because I made that decision, I don't think I can do it as a person, as a single man, without putting a bullet in Rin, who will get me this far.

Rin wants that word too...

But Rin said the opposite of what he thought, "Isn't that nice, chicken?" on the back of my chest.

I thought I was gonna say something like 'I want you to be manly and tell me how you really feel'...

I tilted my neck and asked Rin back.

"Chicken, do something like Mr. Vine... Well, you're right, but that's not gonna work, is it?

"I'm personally very satisfied to know how Showa feels, right?

"That's what I say--"

"Besides, I don't want to be flushed into the atmosphere, or serious, or obligatory... that's what I don't want. Therefore, I will wait for“ Showa's confident words and feelings. "

"Wait, is that okay Rin...?

"Of course. I don't want to force the relationship to proceed, and I will wait until Showa has sorted out her feelings. Just promise me this."

"... Promise?

"I won't worry about it alone anymore. He said he wouldn't run away."

He turned straight towards me and said that with a serious face like he'd seen for the first time.

I couldn't help but breathe in the atmosphere.

"I promise... it will, absolutely"

After a few seconds of silence, I nodded slowly and that's what I replied.

Rin mutters, relieved, "Good..." And when he grinned, Rin breathed relief.

It felt like the room was wrapped up in a unique moist atmosphere, either because we felt each other through.

Palpitations become more intense, itchy, and softly restless.

But Rin doesn't look like that, and Ning Ro seems very energetic.

"Yes, Showa."

"Yeah?"

"I said I'd wait, but I'm not going to stop acting now, am I?

"Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

"Do you think I will?

"Uh... right -"

I laughed unwittingly at Rin, who said it in Doya's face.

Rin's heartbreaking appeal and behavior.

I thought you would refrain from acting like that because you said "wait”...

Well, you mean my thoughts were sweet.

"This is the earliest, winning game. You can't loosen your hands to make it solid."

"How long have we been playing?"

"Love is a rush. I mean, you can't lose because you're winning and losing."

"I hate losing."

"Pfft. That's who I am."

Rin is the one who has the guts for everything and works hard.

Just for a minute...... no, I'm worried there's something pretty swine rushing about.

But when you can turn such a confident smile on me, I get energized.

"I have my own thoughts, too. Because this is the only thing I can do."

"What do you mean..."

"It's a secret."

"I told you all about it, didn't I?

"I don't want to be told by the secretive Showa."

"... is that so too"

"So wait and see then, won't you?

Rin gave me a luscious grin as if inviting me.

He reaches out white and strokes my cheek.

That colorful trick has fuelled my anxiety in vain.

"Wow. I'm so scared..."

"That's the same for me"

"Yeah? Same...?

"Nothing!

I blushed for some reason and turned away a lot.

... what is it?

I don't know what she's thinking.

That's just a little uneasy.

But more than that, her movements and tricks are cute and quench my anxiety.

I'm sure it's because you know what she's trying to do for me.

So maybe that makes her so loving that she can't help it.

I put my hand on Rin's head and gently stroked his head.

—— The sentiment of “love” that drove my parents crazy.

Until now, I've just hated it, and I haven't tried to admit it.

In fact, I still hate it.

I've changed my mind since then, the ugliness of those parents......

But I've only found out one thing about those parents.

It's —— liking people.

My parents kept chasing me, the sentiment of favoring people.

I think I only understood that feeling through Rin.

But this isn't with my parents.

I don't drown, just like a man I fell in love with.

—— I can assure you that.

There are fears that may stop someday.

But more than that...

The feeling that I can believe Rin enough to dispel such anxiety is certainly starting to budge in me.

So... it won't be like those guys.

No, there is no way!!

Yes, I swore to my heart, and I kept stroking her head as she followed me.

Watching Rin narrow her eyes and lean over her body, those words said at the end of the summer festival, the sight comes back to life like it was yesterday.

All I had to do then was wear a futon and run away.

And it's the same today.

Rin told me she was waiting.

Out of kindness, you're giving me an escape route...

But besides, you can't be sweet forever.

No matter how embarrassed you are or how nervous you seem to crumble... you have to return what you said then.

Because if you don't tell me, I can't move forward--

"... because my feelings are“ real ”too"

I think it was a small voice that disappeared.

Maybe it was faint enough not to hear.

But all of a sudden, her hugging power grew stronger... I felt that way.

So I...

I gently held Rin tight to meet it.