Chapter 472: Inexpressible
Lin Huanzhu lingered downstairs for a while. She only snapped back to reality when a cold wind blew past, making her shiver.
She turned, shook her head, and ran back home.
Liao Jin was busy in the kitchen. Seeing her return, she called out, "Pour some of your father’s favorite liquor, and set out some oranges and candy."
Lin Huanzhu froze for a moment. Only after Liao Jin urged her a second time did she agree, forcing herself to arrange everything.
Liao Jin fried two eggs, stir-fried a plate of peanuts, and set out a plate of plain white tofu.
The white tofu was completely plain, served just as it was.
Because her late sister had loved it that way.
Bit by bit, plate after plate, the small dishes soon filled a small table.
In a somewhat narrow alcove, there was nothing but a few memorial tablets.
They were for Lin Huanzhu’s maternal grandparents, her father and mother, and her two older brothers.
Lin Huanzhu arranged the items, silently lit a stick of incense, and left without a word.
Liao Jin watched Lin Huanzhu’s retreating figure and sighed, then knelt before the tablets and began to speak softly.
"Huanzhu is the same as always. She still feels she isn’t worthy to pay respects, so please don’t blame her... She’s determined to find the murderer and avenge you all. For so many years now, she’s been investigating whenever she can, against my wishes..."
Liao Jin tried with all her might to hold back her tears, but in the end, she couldn’t.
Liao Jin was Lin Huanzhu’s maternal aunt, her mother’s younger sister. Ten years her junior, she had been raised by her older sister since she was little.
The saying ’an eldest sister is like a mother’ wasn’t just a phrase; it was the truth. To Liao Jin, her sister was practically her mother.
But tragically, her sister’s family had met with disaster.
A criminal broke in and murdered the entire family of four, then vanished. Only seven-year-old Lin Huanzhu, who was playing hide-and-seek with her brothers, survived by hiding under the bed.
When a child gets quiet, they can fall asleep anywhere.
Lin Huanzhu waited under the bed for her brothers to find her. She waited and waited, and eventually fell asleep. When she woke up, her world had been turned upside down.
Little Lin Huanzhu witnessed her parents and brothers lying dead in pools of blood. She had a mental breakdown. From that day on, she couldn’t even look at the color red, let alone see blood, without collapsing.
Liao Jin, who had been married for three years without children, unhesitatingly took on the responsibility of raising Lin Huanzhu. But her husband’s family was not happy about it.
In the end, Liao Jin was driven out of her husband’s home. She left with Lin Huanzhu and raised her as her own daughter.
Liao Jin spent five years helping Lin Huanzhu return to a semblance of normalcy. Unfortunately, once she recovered, she became obsessed with finding the killer.
After that, Lin Huanzhu studied hard, ignoring the objections of Liao Jin and everyone else, wanting to become a police officer. She didn’t make it in the end. Later, she became a rescue worker, saving people’s lives and searching for clues in her spare time. Gradually, she became the person she is today.
Nearly twenty years had passed. Liao Jin no longer believed the killer who murdered her sister’s family could still be found. And even if they were, who knew what the situation would be by then.
But no matter how she tried to persuade her, Lin Huanzhu wouldn’t listen on this one point. As the years went by, Huanzhu slowly transformed into the person she was now.
She worked harder and more desperately than anyone else, and in her spare time, she continued to investigate the case from all those years ago.
The Lin Huanzhu who was once a delicate little girl, so spoiled by her parents and two older brothers that even a small stumble would make her cry her eyes out, had, after all these years, become tougher than any man.
Liao Jin hoped she could escape the shadow of her parents’ and brothers’ deaths, start a new life, get married, have children, and live a simple, happy life. But Lin Huanzhu refused.
Over the years, Liao Jin could see that Lin Huanzhu was increasingly ceasing to see herself as a girl. She had slowly made herself become like a man, shouldering every burden.
"I won’t consider major life events until I find the murderer."
Those were Lin Huanzhu’s exact words. And for seven years, she had lived by them.
No matter what Liao Jin said, Lin Huanzhu let the days pass one by one until she was twenty-six, still unmarried, with no signs of wanting to be.
"Sister, if you can hear me, please watch over Huanzhu. Help her find the killer soon, and keep her safe. Let her find a good man, get married, and have children..."
"I bought your favorite tofu, Sister. Have a bite. Brother-in-law, have some liquor. There are peanuts to go with it. The eggs are for my two nephews to share. No fighting over them..."
As Liao Jin murmured on, Lin Huanzhu stood outside the door, staring up at the ceiling with a placid expression. No one knew what she was thinking.
Night deepened. Lin Huanzhu lay in bed, her eyes completely devoid of sleepiness. She was destined to be sleepless tonight.
The moment she closed her eyes, the nightmare from when she was seven would return right on schedule.
Every year, on this day, she endured it just like this.
Lin Huanzhu raised a hand and unconsciously brushed her arm. Her hand paused when she felt the scar there.
She had quite a few such scars on her body—on her back, her legs, her hands... She hadn’t reached this point overnight.
She had spent more time and endured several times more hardship than any man. She pushed herself the hardest. In the end, it was through these scars that she had clawed her way to where she was today.
She had made everyone around her forget she was a woman, and even she herself had gradually forgotten that reality.
But tonight, for the first time in a long while, she had been called a girl.
It came from Tang Yuanxiao, that quiet, reserved man with a kind heart.
’A girl... a girl...’
Lin Huanzhu caressed the calluses on her palm, her expression incredibly complex.
Meanwhile, Tang Yuanxiao was also thinking about Lin Huanzhu.
He couldn’t sleep. His mind was a mess, and he was also way too full.
His thoughts were in turmoil. He recalled the scene in the hospital room with Su Li and Wu Sheng, and remembered Su Li’s face growing thinner by the day while Wu Sheng was in a coma.
When Wu Sheng was unconscious, there was a fleeting moment when Tang Yuanxiao had hoped he would never wake up.
’If Wu Sheng never woke up, maybe I’d still have a chance. The odds of Su Li returning to me would be a little higher.’
The thought lasted only a moment before Tang Yuanxiao banished it from his mind, filled with deep self-loathing. He never allowed himself to think it again.
Seeing Wu Sheng awake today, he was genuinely happy, but also indescribably disappointed.
He hadn’t expected to run into an even more despondent Lin Huanzhu. Thinking of her, Tang Yuanxiao couldn’t quite put a finger on what he was feeling.
Because of Su Li, he knew that women felt awful when they were on their period, that they shouldn’t get cold...
After giving Lin Huanzhu that advice, Tang Yuanxiao’s thoughts drifted. He suddenly remembered a time during military training when Su Li got her period, and he had carried her on his back to someone’s house to ask for brown sugar and eggs.
’Back then, I was carrying Su Li on my back, so close...’
Tang Yuanxiao’s mind wandered. He glanced out the window, thinking about how heavily it was snowing. If Su Li didn’t go home, she would definitely be in the hospital room with Wu Sheng.
’The two of them, alone in one room... and Wu Sheng’s body is recovering... They...’
’Wu Sheng is a man, a man who likes Su Li, just like me...’
Tang Yuanxiao’s fists clenched. He ultimately couldn’t remain calm. He abruptly threw off his covers and sat up. A long, unbearable night had just begun.