Chapter 380: Guilt
Wu Sheng froze in place.
Li Xian glanced back, a flicker of a smile in his eyes.
He didn’t linger on the look; after a moment, he turned away as if nothing had happened.
With his hands behind his back, he continued walking until he found a bicycle parked by the side of the road.
Then, Li Xian got on the bike and slowly rode away.
Bit by bit, he slowly disappeared from Wu Sheng’s sight.
Just before he vanished, Wu Sheng saw him raise a hand and wave, as if saying goodbye.
Wu Sheng squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sound of frustration—or maybe annoyance—before abruptly spinning around.
His footsteps were heavy and hurried, as if he urgently needed to vent something.
These heavy, hurried footsteps finally came to a halt outside Su Li’s hospital room.
As if he had just snapped out of it, he smacked his forehead and muttered to himself.
"Wu Sheng, what are you doing? Throwing a childish tantrum?"
He leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, and thought for a moment.
A moment later, he returned to the room, his expression revealing nothing.
Just like any other day, he started eating with Su Li, making small talk.
When they were nearly finished, Su Li put down her chopsticks.
"Did you catch up to him?"
Wu Sheng’s chopsticks paused. "No."
"You didn’t say goodbye?" Su Li raised an eyebrow.
Wu Sheng finally looked up at Su Li. "Why would I say goodbye to him?"
Su Li pressed her lips together and didn’t answer, instead giving him a look that said, ’You know exactly why.’
Just as she had said and thought before, Su Li believed Wu Sheng when he said he didn’t acknowledge Li Xian.
But it was impossible for him not to care about Li Xian. Impossible.
Everything that happened today proved that Wu Sheng cared.
Looking at Su Li’s expression, Wu Sheng’s straight, tense shoulders suddenly slumped.
"I just wanted to tell him... not to do things like this anymore."
’He hadn’t liked grapes for a long time.’
’Those sweet and sour grapes were just something he liked as a child.’
Su Li didn’t respond, but Wu Sheng didn’t need her to.
He picked up his chopsticks again and shoved a mouthful of rice into his mouth as if to vent his frustration.
"To be honest, he really gets on my nerves. I mean, really. He’s always showing up in front of me like a persistent ghost."
If he didn’t show up, if Wu Sheng didn’t have to see him, he wouldn’t care. But whenever he did see him, he always felt unsettled.
"It’s been like this for years. Every time, he’ll suddenly appear in places he shouldn’t be, catching people completely off guard."
"I don’t want to see him at all... Everyone says he’s approachable and easygoing, but I don’t see it."
Wu Sheng poked at the remaining rice in his bowl, then looked up to gauge Su Li’s expression.
"Why aren’t you saying anything?"
"What do you want to hear?" Su Li asked good-naturedly.
’Isn’t her job right now just to listen?’
Wu Sheng was exasperated. "You could at least scold me or something. Do I have to teach you what to say?"
Su Li thought for a moment, then pointed at Wu Sheng and said, "You little rascal."
Wu Sheng: "..."
He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. "Su Li, you... you call that scolding? ’Little rascal’?"
Su Li looked innocent. "Didn’t you ask me to scold you?"
She paused. "Should I try another word?"
Wu Sheng looked at her expectantly.
Su Li thought and thought, then shot Wu Sheng a sidelong glance. "Dummy!"
Wu Sheng felt like he was going to cough up blood.
He stood up and sat down, then stood up and sat down again.
"’Dummy’? Su Li, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? Ah, you have to be!"
He pointed at himself. "Does this face look like a dummy to you?"
Su Li suppressed a laugh. "It does."
"If I’m a dummy, then you’re a Silly Girl!"
Wu Sheng retorted, then burst out laughing.
Su Li didn’t argue back, just watched him with a smile.
"What is it?" Wu Sheng asked, confused.
"I’m more used to seeing you smile. And I’m the one who made you laugh today," Su Li said, a little smug.
Wu Sheng froze for a second before he realized what Su Li meant.
Making Su Li laugh was something he used to do all the time. He never expected that today, she would be the one making him laugh...
"You could tell I was upset?"
Su Li nodded. "Of course. I’m not blind."
She tugged on Wu Sheng’s clothes, pulling him down to sit.
"It’s okay, Wu Sheng. Don’t be upset. It’s perfectly normal for you to care. He’s your... You don’t have to blame yourself or feel like you’re not allowed to care."
Wu Sheng looked at Su Li, and after a long moment, he gently patted her head.
"It’s so good to have you."
The things he couldn’t talk about with his mother or his friends, he could tell Su Li.
’It’s really good.’
Wu Sheng cleared away the dishes and sat on the chair, his mind already drifting into his memories.
Memories that he always desperately tried to suppress whenever they surfaced.
Maybe it was because he had just seen Li Xian, or maybe it was because of Su Li’s understanding eyes, but for the first time, Wu Sheng calmly began to recall and speak of the past.
"He feels guilty toward my mom and me. I can see it. He wants to make it up to us, but it’s not that easy."
A faint smile appeared in Wu Sheng’s eyes, and he leaned over and rested his arms on the hospital bed without realizing it.
"You know, my mom is very capable. She always said she was the best at being both a mother and a father, and she wasn’t wrong."
"We were never short on money. Honestly, because of my mom’s personality, I never really felt that not having a father was some great tragedy."
Su Li agreed with that.
"Who does your mother take after?" Su Li was curious about this.
Wu Qihua’s personality was considered unique even in the future; in this era, it was even rarer.
Wu Sheng’s unconventional personality was entirely because he was like Wu Qihua. It was because she raised him that he became the person he is today.
"She’s like my maternal grandfather," Wu Sheng said without hesitation.
"Your grandfather," Su Li said, nodding.
"Yeah, my grandfather. Back in his day, people called him an oddball. He and my grandmother only had two children, my mom and my uncle. Normally, they would have favored my uncle, but my grandfather doted on my mom and taught her everything."
"Later, because of something that happened, my grandfather kicked my uncle out of the house. He wouldn’t listen no matter how my grandmother pleaded, and just acted like he didn’t have a son anymore."
"My grandmother passed away when I was five. Two years later, my grandfather passed away too. My mom said it was because he couldn’t bear to be without my grandmother."
Wu Sheng rambled on and on, then suddenly caught himself. "How did I get sidetracked talking about my grandparents?"
Su Li looked completely innocent. "You’re the one who brought it up."
Wu Sheng: "...Anyway, my mom, who was spoiled rotten by my grandfather, is very capable. She raised me so that I never wanted for anything."
Wu Sheng lacked nothing, so even if Li Xian wanted to compensate him, there was never an opportunity.
"When I was little, I really hated him. But, you know, every time he came to watch me in secret, I always knew."
Su Li toyed with a strand of Wu Sheng’s hair and hummed in acknowledgment. "Did he come to see you secretly often?"
"More often when I was a kid. But later, probably because of my attitude, it happened less and less."
He thought for a moment. "Let me tell you about something that happened when I was ten. I had the chickenpox back then and was all groggy with a fever, but at night, something always felt off."
"At first I thought we had a burglar. Later, my mom and I searched together, and we found him."
Li Xian had heard Wu Sheng was sick and couldn’t resist coming to see him, only to get caught.
"That was the first time I ever saw my mom cry so heartbrokenly, and it was also the first time I saw her get that furious."
"My mom told him not to do that anymore, that it would only trouble us. After she blew up at him, he really backed off a lot."
Su Li’s hand unconsciously strayed to Wu Sheng’s ear. "Then why did you end up taking a job there?" she asked, referring to the place where Li Xian was.
Wu Sheng’s ears turned visibly red, the blush then spreading to his face.