Great Novelist

Her eyes meet. Her eyes flash black. The feelings that exist beyond have been conveyed more clearly than before.

“There is a contradiction within me. ”

The voice of the mountain echoes. It's a bold tone. It's expressionless enough to forget the place. Contradiction. Spears and shields. A spear that can pierce everything and a shield that can stop everything. Two things coexisted within her. What happens if those two collide?

We don't know.

“I told you before. I haven't written in a week since I read your book. ”

When we first met, she clearly said that.

“It seemed empty. ”

“You did what you wanted. ”

“No, I told you. Until you came along. ”

She denied it. It wasn't what she wanted. You hear strange noises from a distance. It was an unknown sound.

“It was scary. ”

Her white lips move busy.

“It was realistic and obvious. even though the subject is death.”

I had a new feeling in her eyes. Jealousy, timing, admiration.

“I can't write again. I was influenced by your writing before it was poured into my writing. ”

There was no change in his expression. All emotions were focused on the black eyes. For her, the writing was everything. Nothing is more important than writing. I couldn't use it.

Even if you can't write, even at the cost of your own life. Those wonderful sentences slipped away from her.

“It's been a long time since I read your book, I've been afraid of death. ”

He secretly spit out the word.

“So you can't die? ”

My eyes were slightly shaken. She didn't deny it. He was convinced at that moment. The reason she killed herself in the past is as follows: Maybe it's a slump, maybe it's really exhausted. For some reason, she decided that she could no longer write. Ji

You're gonna want to die too. But she didn't die. Instead, he dragged himself into the mountains.

“You wrote death like a savior, right? as beautiful as the one that frees us from the challenges that we face. like a magic sentence to end every story. ”

She reaches out slowly. The light falls from her hands. I was pushed forward. I felt a strong force in her hand, holding her collar. Her eyes are closer together. She did not remain a great novelist. I cut myself off in the middle of the road.

“Yes. I couldn't empathize with you. ”

You look upset. You laugh.

“Death solves nothing. ”

That's what came from her mouth.

“Your writings made death so. ”

Her writing influenced her. A smile rises from the hillside of a mysterious mountain, where if she forsakes herself, she emerges from this troubled situation. Her appearance overlaps with her past self. Changing the self that crashed was not death. River

I had a paper and pen in my hand before I drowned. I was writing with my hands full of the smell of alcohol.

I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to feel it. I wanted the words to reach her.

“Why would you write something like that? ”

She asked.

“How can I write again? ”

She found the next one. In a situation where she had lost everything, she made a choice other than death. He grabs her hand and slowly lowers her down. It was cold, but there was a pulse. I opened my mouth slowly.

“I admire you too, professor. ”

“· · · · · · · What? ”

“You've poured it all out, but you haven't given up yet. ”

I questioned her face. He told her the story he had just heard while looking at the mountain during the day.

“The new book is coming out. Writing is already complete. That's also a full-length novel. ”

I broke it. For the first time since I met Calculation, I had a clear feeling on her face. My eyebrows went up and my eyes were frozen. I opened my mouth and took a small breath. It was a vivid face.

“If you're exhausted, fill it up. You can take a break and walk to the top any time you want. ”

I heard a sound from a distance. Yay. Someone's shouting at the top of the mountain. The continuous shout echoes throughout the mountain. The two of them stood still until the sound was over.

“Really?"

“Yes.”

“Did the teacher write? ”

“Yes.”

“You got the pen back? ”

“Yes.”

It is a frown. A laughter flows through it. In the meantime, you pick up the flashlight that's lying on the floor and give it to her. She took it easy.

“Let's go back.”

It was a thin voice. I heard it clearly.

“I know. Come back tomorrow. ”

“· · · · · · · Aren't you hungry? ”

“Do you have any late night snacks? ”

“Ramen.”

The way down is also carefully underfoot. I still don't know where this place is or how far I'm walking, but I'm not as anxious as I was when I came up.

*

Calculation got up early in the morning and washed. I came in late last night, but I haven't slept long since then. The section that opened its eyes to popularity prepared early in the morning. She pulls the pouch out of her bag and pulls out the makeup bar over dry skin. Calculation

cleaned up the duvet in the meantime.

“I'll come down with you. ”

“Discharge?”

The section asked with a curious expression. Calculation answered boldly.

“Yes. I'm going to see my teacher. ”

“Yes. That shouldn't be too hard. ”

The section sat in front of the mirror and tapped its face lightly.

“Then why all the sudden? Did something happen to you? ”

“I can't write. ”

The section's hand stops. The calculation saw the face of the section facing through the mirror and smiled small.

“Are you a slump? ”

“Well, is this a slump? I'm not sure.”

“· · · · · · · Are you okay? ”

Calculation said, looking at the face of the hardened section.

“You read it, too, right? River water.”

With one sentence, the section notices roughly the situation that the calculation is experiencing. He was a writer in the same field, and he was a reader by accident.

She reads the coincidence sooner than anyone else. I read the curious article without breathing. It was a terrible emotion. As a writer, I wondered why I couldn't write like that. How could he have written such a thing? Defeated himself at an invisible point.

His ability as a writer was immense.

I've been writing for almost 20 years. I blew up my name and felt confident writing about myself. However, everything flew away in one fragment written by chance.

“I really wanted to write better than anyone else. ”

The algebra said as a joke. But seriously, all the writers in the group are writing with their own minds. Neither conceit nor consideration. They don't make good sound for each other's writing. I didn't care about my career or my age. Adults

It was just a bunch of bad writers. And I lost to a writer named Coincidence.

“I tried to write a good article. ”

Calculate says she pulls the black clothes out of the closet.

“I'm trying to write better than anyone else. I gave up the convenience of city life, the pleasure of being with someone. I got a world-renowned award, I got compliments from my teacher, I became a best-seller when it was published, and a lot of critics said I was a great writer.

Buy this. ”

The section silently listens to her.

“Sister Choi, too. Faith and obedience. And I tried to write something that would shake even by accident. ”

Calculation throws the black clothes onto the bed. The black cloth falls without a beat.

“But I failed. ”

The section saw her reflecting in the mirror. He was a kind face for a man who spoke of failure.

“So I'm going to see the teacher. He wants to ask me for a favor. I was confident, proud, and all broken because of some weird coincidence. So no matter how much I wrote, I didn't like it, and I hated the magazine. Go ask him what he wants me to do.

Yo. "

Then the door opened. The best was standing there.

“Failure is the mother of success. ”

“Did you eavesdrop?”

“A little.”

You speak freely. He reaches out when the section asks you for a favor.

“Can I borrow something to put on your face? The water here doesn't suit me. I'm gonna pull your face off. ”

He grabs the roughly thrown moisturizing cream and immediately begins to apply it on his face. The section asks him to look into the mirror at the side.

“What about you? Didn't you hate yourself a little bit? ”

“I'm the best. Sister.”

He delicately tapped his face, saying. However, the Declaration was not as powerful as before.

“This is what I've been following. ”

“That's the same for you. ”

I came here by accident. I followed him because I couldn't ignore his existence by reading a coincidence.

“I've read his work about 40 times. But I had a feeling. ”

“What feeling? ”

“I have a feeling I can't write like this. ”

I was beaten.

“That's why I never wanted to write anything like that. His writing is not beautiful. It writes down all the flavorful, smelly parts. Readers don't even think about it. I don't even think about writers who will be frustrated by reading. ”

“I can't believe you said that. ”

The section laughed at the words of the man who had only himself in his head. And I thought he was crazy to hear that from the best.

“No, think about it. How can you write something like that if you know it's going to be in the same magazine as me? It was the same at the reunion, but he's weird in a lot of ways. I don't understand the circuit at all. ”

His eyes meet. He is full of compassion. He must have compared himself to coincidence. Ever since I met you, I haven't been tired of coincidences. And I'm sure you've come to a conclusion.

“I'm just going to stay as someone who knows coincidence. ”

He rubs the back of his hand.

“I've known him since he wrote this. When I write something like this, I'll be happy to talk to people about how my existence must have affected them. For now.”

It is a bold tone. It is the least defensive he has built.

“And one day, coincidence will make me jealous. Admire my accomplishments. ”

“I see.”

The section thought, "This place is too quiet." This disconnected space is not overheard by the joys of coincidence, surprises, or amazement. It was just full of writers' qualifications and victories and feelings of loss. They are in a quiet corner of the mind.

That's it. The accidental death was so intense and merciless. It has been a series of regrets since I read the article. I'll write something else. It'll be a little better. I shouldn't have started a club. I shouldn't have bragged about whether he was literary or not. It was a novel I really hated.

Just the thought of it made me complain of pain. The section takes a small deep breath.

“What about him? ”

The section wondered, would I write something like that and be frightened? What should I do after this? What can I do? What can I do? I wonder if my whole body felt empty. I don't know if he thought of anything by writing such a horrible piece.

There was no answer. There is always no explanation for coincidence.

End and Start (6) End

lim Han-baek