Chapter 199. An Impossible Solution I
Maisie
"The gifts each beast the goddess created were not spells or magic. They were simply what their nature demanded.
Beasts of air were born with wings because the sky was their domain. Beasts of the sea possessed gills and sturdy skin because anything else would’ve been ineffective against the sea’s waves. Beasts of earth were granted claws, lengthened canines, and the ability to shift forms because survival in the wilds required them.
They were tools for survival.
But walking between worlds was not one of them. Legends say the first gatekeeper was not molded and shaped by the goddess like the rest of her children. They say the first gatekeeper was the goddess’s own bloodline.
A small god in his own right.
Upon discovering what terrible power she had passed down onto her child, it is said the goddess made it so that the cost would be just as dire to ensure he never used or abused it.
She bound the gift so tightly that only one keeper could exist in each generation. And she made the cost of opening a gate so devastating that no one in their right mind would ever dare to pay it.
To tear open a rift required the keeper’s own life force, their very essence, and even then, it was never enough to keep the gate open for long enough for even a single soul to pass through.
It didn’t matter how many lives were sacrifices on the goddess’s altar. Twenty. Fifty. A hundred. The results remained the same.
But over the years as they sought remedies to exit their dying world, they found ways to work around this.
Smaller tests were carried out with littler gates. And it soon became clear that there was only one way out.
A binding of life forces.
Interlocking souls into one, so that when the time came to bear the cost, the death of the keeper could be prevented, and the other souls entwined with the keeper’s could instead bear the cost.
And so, the Convergence bond was created—"
"Maisie!"
My head snapped up. The noise of the cafeteria came rushing back all at once.
I blinked hard, trying to clear the dark spots swimming at the edges of my vision. Regina, Jenny and Juliette were both staring at me with matching expressions of worry.
"You look like you haven’t slept in days," Regina said.
Juliette nodded, her voice soft. "You have eye bags the size of buckets."
I forced a tired smile and looked back down at my notes, even though the words were starting to blur together.
It was true.
Ever since we visited the Ridge, sleep had become something I dreaded. It was like I had become haunted.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw death. I woke up drenched in sweat, heart racing, stomach twisting until I had to run to the bathroom to throw up.
Some days I passed out from sheer exhaustion in the middle of class, only to jerk awake from a day dream as terrifying as the nightmares to find Mrs. Belarus hovering over me, asking if I needed to see the school counselor.
Cole laughed at that. Ryder gave me a hard smile—Kisten and Bastian had been noticeably missing from school since our visit.
I’d said no to Mrs. Belarus, of course. But she’d still told my mates.
And the icing on the cake was waking up at the edge of the estate two nights ago with no memory of how I got there. No shoes. Just Jericho’s shirt twisted around my body and dirt caked between my toes.
My mates had found me like that.
"I’m sorry," I sobbed as Soren scooped me up into his arms. "I don’t... I don’t remember. I can’t—" hiccup "can’t—don’t know what to do—"
Soren’s hand brushed up and down my back as he carried me inside like I might break if he moved too fast.
I remembered the way his hands shook when he turned on the shower. The way he washed the dirt from my skin with careful, quiet strokes, like he was afraid I’d disappear if he looked away.
I remembered waking up a couple of hours later to a doctor I didn’t recognize with a kind smile, checking my vitals.
I’d looked over her shoulder and found the pensive mood my mates were in. They looked terrified, like the doctor had confirmed my mind was indeed, broken. And I made it a point at that moment to keep my breakdowns and meltdowns to myself if I could help it.
She had taken blood samples, asked questions, and before she left, she’d quietly suggested I speak to someone. My mates. And if I couldn’t do that, a therapist would suffice. Just in case.
I knew what they all thought.
That I was unraveling.
And maybe they were right to worry. I couldn’t even blame them for it. Every time I tried to explain what was really happening, I ended up sounding frantic and scattered, like I was losing my grip on reality.
And how could I expect them to believe me when even I sometimes wondered if I was going insane?
It was weighing on them as well. I knew that.
Quinlan and Jericho took turns staying up at night, pretending they weren’t watching me sleep, like they were scared I might disappear again. I no longer slept in my bedroom alone, or went anywhere without one of them within close proximity of me.
In fact, they were three tables over, because I had opted to sit through lunch with my friends instead, and I could feel their gazes digging into my spine.
I could almost taste the tension rolling off of them. The fear.
But they didn’t understand. And I couldn’t make them understand without sounding like I belonged in a padded room.
So I had given up on trying.
I smiled when they asked how I was feeling.
"Fine. I’m just tired," I would say.
And I counted down the days until Halloween with a growing sense of dread that no one else seemed to feel.
Seven days.
That was all I had left to figure out how to stop something I couldn’t even prove was real.
I blinked hard and forced myself to focus on the page in front of me, even though the words kept slipping away. My hands were shaking. I tucked them under the table before anyone could see.
"I’m fine," I said to my friends.
"You’ve been reading that for days," Jenny said, and poked her head into my space. "Is that another one of your book of rules? More drawings on knots and dicks? Oh, what language is that—?"
I slammed the book shut and snapped louder than necessary, "Could you not!"
Jenny recoiled like I had slapped her. "Sorry, I was just—"
"No," I stuttered, feeling like a major piece of shit. "I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out."
"Did my brother do something again?" Juliette asked.
"No," I whispered, eyes heavy. Goddess, I was so tired. "It’s nothing—"
A shock of blonde hair with red streaks caught my attention and my body and mind acted before I could think it through.
I was on my feet instantly, bolting for Kisten, where he stood with Bastian and Ryder.
I caught him by his arm just as he lowered to take his seat. "Kisten. I need to talk to you."
His eyes were blank as they stared me down. "We have nothing to talk about."
"About Samhain? What you said at the dance? I heard you talking to Margaret about opening the gates. Staying away from here? The ridge? I know you know everything."
Kisten blinked slowly and pulled his arm away from me. "I have no idea what the hell you’re rambling about." He cocked his head with concern. "Are you feeling well, Maisie?"
I glanced away from him then and noticed everyone around us staring at me like I had grown an additional two heads.
Crazy.
I drew away from him, stumbling back by a step, hyperventilating.
I ran my fingers through my hair, nearly tugging at the roots as the world started to spin around me.
IwasnotcrazyIamnotcrazyIamnotinsaneNot insaneNotcrazyNotlosingmymind.
Quinlan’s scent teased my nostrils before I felt his hands cupping my face. "May—"
His words felt far away and I heard a different voice clawing through my mind.
Come find me, keeper.
Come find me.
InsaneNotinsane.
Come find me, keeper.
I half-yelled, "Just... leave me alone! Please!"
Quinlan flinched, tearing his hands away from me like I was on fire.
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t talking to him. That it was that voice in my head that followed me from my dreams into reality.
But I knew how that would sound, and I couldn’t take one more person asking if I was feeling well, if I needed to sleep, if I needed a freaking psychiatrist.
So I turned on my heel and bolted from the hall.
And I didn’t stop until I was in the library. At the very end of the wall where the shelf stood.
I grabbed the ladder and slammed it against the wall, rattling it. But I didn’t care as I took the first steps and shoved down the old, black tome.
And when I heard the grinding noise, I braced myself.
And fell through, into the dark.