Chapter 304: Humans Are Fucking Selfish
Katherine smiled when Martin’s fingers tightened around her hip. The reaction pleased her, but a glance toward Cassandra took some of the triumph out of her expression.
Cassandra’s crimson eyes were still swollen from crying, and exhaustion showed through the composure she had only recently managed to recover. Even so, she remained tucked against Martin’s side with her fingers woven through his.
Katherine leaned forward until her forehead touched Martin’s.
"I know this is awful timing," she said. "Cassandra has been crying, we still have no idea what tomorrow will look like, and I’m sitting on your lap because I’ve decided tonight should include something I want."
One of her hands left his shoulder and slid down the center of his chest. When she reached the bulge straining against his pants, she cupped him through the fabric and stroked him slowly.
"Humans are fucking selfish." Her orange eyes held his. "Tell me I’m wrong."
Martin let out an uneven breath. With Katherine straddling him and Cassandra holding his other hand, denying it would have made him a hypocrite.
"You’re not wrong."
Cassandra sighed, but she did not move away. Instead, she rested her cheek against his upper arm and closed her eyes.
Martin looked down at her. "Are you still comfortable?"
"If I want her to stop, I’ll say so." Cassandra sounded more tired than annoyed. "For now, I’m trying to accept that this is how the two of you respond to an emotional crisis."
Katherine’s hand paused over him. The playful challenge faded from her expression as she studied Cassandra. "I’m not trying to make you feel unwelcome."
"I know. That may be the strangest part of this evening."
Katherine allowed the remark to pass without turning it into a joke. When her palm pressed against him again, Martin’s hips tensed beneath her, and he caught her wrist before he could push up into her touch.
She immediately looked at him. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No, but slow down. I’m trying to pay attention to both of you."
"All right."
Katherine left her hand resting over the hard shape beneath his pants, no longer moving it. Once he released her wrist, she turned back to Cassandra.
"This is why I don’t think selfishness automatically ruins Alexandra’s plan," she said. "Alex didn’t come up with it because she suddenly became generous enough to enjoy sharing. She wants Martin. She also loves me, cares about the others, and doesn’t want getting one thing to cost her everything else."
Cassandra opened her eyes. "So she invented a way to keep all of you."
"She’s trying to find one. That doesn’t make her selfless, but at least she looked directly at what she wanted." Katherine glanced down at Martin before continuing. "Most people would hide the ugly parts beneath prettier words, then act surprised when jealousy exposed them. Alex wrote rules because she knows wanting something doesn’t make her entitled to it."
Martin could already imagine Alexandra’s offended expression if she heard her sister describe the Harem Plan that way. She could argue with the word selfish later, but Katherine was right that the plan had grown from Alex’s desires and fears rather than detached generosity.
Cassandra’s thumb moved across Martin’s knuckles. "You make honesty sound like a cure. A woman can admit she’s jealous and still be unable to live with it."
"Of course she can. Honesty only lets the rest of us deal with the real problem. It doesn’t guarantee we’ll like the answer."
Cassandra fell silent again. Her gaze lingered on Katherine’s hand over Martin’s lap before shifting to his face.
"What happens when two women need you at the same time? Not want, Martin. Need. One may be frightened while another has spent all month waiting for the one evening you promised would be hers. Whose feelings become less important?"
He had no answer that could make the situation fair. Cassandra would have recognized an empty reassurance before he finished giving it, so Martin took his time.
"I find out what’s happening and decide what can’t wait," he said. "If I decide one situation is more urgent, I make sure the other woman understands why I broke my promise, then find a way to make it up to her. She may still be hurt or angry, and she would have every right to be."
"And if both situations matter?"
"Then I may choose wrong."
No one rushed to soften the answer. Katherine slipped her free arm around the back of his neck but did not interrupt.
Martin squeezed Cassandra’s hand. "I can promise to listen and take every relationship seriously. I can’t promise I’ll never disappoint anyone. If I tried, you’d know I was lying."
Cassandra’s grip loosened slightly, though uncertainty remained in her expression.
"Equal time would not solve it either," she said. "People don’t need affection according to a schedule."
"No, they don’t. You’d all need different things from me, and those needs would change." Martin paused when he realized where the thought had led him. "I’d have to ask instead of deciding that I already understood what was best for everyone."
Cassandra stiffened against his arm.
"You were thinking about me when you said that."
"I was thinking about both of us." He met her eyes rather than softening the truth. "You decided that disappearing would protect me, but I also spent weeks assuming I understood what you wanted from me. Neither of us asked enough questions."
"I knew you wanted me closer," Martin continued. "I told myself it was safer not to ask how much closer or what you expected from me."
"And when I crossed a line?"
"I assumed you would correct me if I read too much into it."
"That was convenient."
"Yes," he admitted. "For both of us."
Cassandra’s mouth tightened, but she did not deny it. She had relied on implication as often as he had, leaving both of them free to hear only what felt safest.
Her gaze dropped to their joined hands. For several seconds, the distant hum of the city filled the silence.
"No," she said eventually. "We didn’t."