Chapter 89: His Story
Xie Huaizheng was abruptly pulled from his thoughts by Su Zhaozhao.
He looked down at Su Zhaozhao, who was holding him tightly.
This wasn’t the same tense hug as before; this one was meant to soothe him.
Her hand was on his back, gently stroking him over and over.
Through his thin shirt, he could feel the warmth and softness of her hand.
The sensation spread through him.
Yet, it made Xie Huaizheng’s body tense up involuntarily.
The scent of jasmine filled his senses, and in his arms, her soft, delicate body was pressed tightly against his.
He was a normal man, and she was the woman he was supposed to marry.
Xie Huaizheng couldn’t possibly remain unaffected.
Su Zhaozhao, however, had no idea what he was thinking.
She had only sensed his sorrow and wanted to comfort him.
Xie Huaizheng instinctively tried to pull her out of his arms.
But Su Zhaozhao held on tight, refusing to let go. "Don’t move. Just let me hold you."
Her accent, unique to girls from the south, always carried an unconsciously flirtatious charm.
It was like a feather brushing against his heart, making it itch with a feeling he couldn’t quite scratch.
Xie Huaizheng’s resolve softened, and he couldn’t resist teasing her. "Am I nice to hug?"
His own hand found its way to Su Zhaozhao’s waist.
Su Zhaozhao was still too thin. Her waist was so slender he could encircle it with one hand.
But he didn’t dare to squeeze, even though he desperately wanted to pull her into himself.
Su Zhaozhao felt the mood between them had turned intimate.
’Wait, this isn’t right. I only meant to comfort Xie Huaizheng.’
’But then I discovered he’s really nice to hug. There isn’t an ounce of fat on his waist, just solid muscle, like a wall of bronze.’
’And so nice to touch.’
They stood under the shade of a tree, darkness enveloping them.
But Su Zhaozhao wasn’t as scared as before. Perhaps it was because Xie Huaizheng was with her, nestled in his arms, listening to the strong beat of his heart.
With him here, she didn’t have to be afraid anymore.
Still, she remembered why she’d started this.
"Xie Huaizheng, stop joking around. I’m being serious right now! It’s not good to keep things bottled up inside. Why don’t you tell me about it? I’m your fiancée, and you want to marry me, right? There shouldn’t be too many secrets between us, okay?"
She had already heard a few things from Zhou Xiaoyun and Liu Guosheng, but she wanted to hear the story from Xie Huaizheng himself.
’If he couldn’t talk about it, that meant he hadn’t truly let it go.’
That’s why she wanted him to be the one to tell her.
The girl’s voice was soft and gentle, like a clear spring washing over him, soothing his soul.
Su Zhaozhao truly had that ability. Just moments ago, his heart had been a mess of turmoil and anxiety.
But her comforting presence had calmed him somewhat.
Xie Huaizheng pressed his thin lips together as his mind was uncontrollably pulled back to that time.
For years, those scenes had tormented him in his sleep.
He’d even read a few psychology books, so he knew it was because he had never truly let go.
While awake, he could force himself not to think about it.
But it all dwelled in his subconscious.
At night, just as he started to relax, they would invade his dreams.
’But could he really bring himself to say it all out loud?’
Su Zhaozhao lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him intently.
"Come on, tell me," she urged. "Xie Huaizheng. Camp Commander Xie. You have to trust me. I can help you."
Xie Huaizheng snapped out of it. He gave her cheek a gentle squeeze and chuckled softly. "Alright. This might be the first time I’ve ever told anyone about this. How about we talk while we walk?"
It wasn’t good to just keep standing under this tree.
Su Zhaozhao had no objection.
The two left the military family compound.
It was already late and everyone had gone home to eat and rest, so the road was nearly deserted.
Su Zhaozhao seized the chance to take Xie Huaizheng’s hand.
Xie Huaizheng glanced down at her hand holding his, and he couldn’t stop himself from gripping it back.
"So forward? First hugging me, now holding my hand."
"It’s fine. We’re getting married, after all," Su Zhaozhao said.
Hearing her say that, Xie Huaizheng stopped in his tracks. "You’ve really thought this through?"
Su Zhaozhao nodded. "I came here to marry you. How could I go back on our agreement? So, just tell me what happened."
"It’s nothing much." Xie Huaizheng’s gaze drifted to the desert in the distance.
The sky was dark, but the stars and moon were bright enough to illuminate the ground. They could see the road clearly without needing a flashlight or relying on streetlights.
Su Zhaozhao watched their faint shadows on the ground as she listened to Xie Huaizheng speak of the past.
"I took you to meet Aunt Liu and her husband. You must be curious how I know them, right?"
Su Zhaozhao hadn’t expected him to start with Liu Guiyan.
She froze for a second, then asked, "How did you two meet?"
Xie Huaizheng suddenly fell silent. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, took one out, put it to his lips, and lit it.
Su Zhaozhao knew his emotions were a mess.
Xie Huaizheng took a drag, and the smoke swirled before him, hiding the wetness welling in his eyes.
Then, Xie Huaizheng continued, "Their son and I were comrades-in-arms. We ran into a major incident on a mission... and he was killed."
Su Zhaozhao froze. ’So that’s what it is.’ She had only guessed that Liu Guiyan and her husband were connected to one of Xie Huaizheng’s missions, assuming they were people he had rescued, or perhaps people who had rescued him.
That would explain why Xie Huaizheng was always so deferential to them.
’She never imagined this was the reason...’
’So, all these years, when Xie Huaizheng went to their place for dinner and kept them company, was it because he saw them as his own respected elders?’
"Did this happen not long after you first arrived at the military district?"
"Yes. We were on our first mission. We were too young, and we thought everything would be simple. But we came up against vicious criminals, and... we lost several comrades. Those who survived were either left disabled or, like me, with psychological issues. I’m one of the lucky ones; I could still serve. They all had to leave."
As he finished, his tone became tinged with self-mockery, as if to say he was useless.
"And after all these years, I still can’t get over it," Xie Huaizheng said, taking another drag from his cigarette.
Su Zhaozhao held his other hand, feeling it tremble. It also felt a little cold.
She instinctively tightened her grip.
"Xie Huaizheng, what you’re feeling is completely normal. Nobody’s perfect. You don’t have to always pretend to be so strong. When you’re tired, you sleep; when you’re thirsty, you drink; when you’re hungry, you eat. Nothing could be more normal than that."
"So, for you to feel sad, to feel scared... that’s normal, too. It’s only human."
Su Zhaozhao tilted her head back to look at Xie Huaizheng, her gaze meeting his with an unprecedented seriousness.