Chapter 258: He Is Still Out There
"I shall fetch your maid at once, Your Grace." Bella said.
"Before you leave tomorrow morning, come here. I shall have the message prepared."
"Yes, Your Grace." Bella curtsied again.
As she withdrew, she felt Theodora’s gaze follow her all the way to the door. So tomorrow would be a long one.
First, she would sit through mass. Then she would wait while the Archbishop attended to every other noble who needed to have a word with him.
There would be advantages, of course. She would see her parents. She had not sat with her mother since the failed royal wedding. There was also her new niece, whom Bella had not yet admired properly.
Still, waiting alone after mass sounded dreadful. It felt rather like punishment. The problem was that Bella had no idea what she was being punished for.
*****
"He is still out there, my lady," Tabitha said.
Livia looked up from her book. "Of course he is." she sighed.
Lord Ashcroft had not left her apartment door for more than an hour or two since the king rode for France more than a week ago.
Whenever she stepped out, Lionel was there. If she went to the field behind Whitehall to ride Libertà, Lionel followed. If she went to the library, he followed. If she walked in the gallery, he followed.
Even the keeper of the library had begun to worry about him. When Henry said Lionel was to protect her, surely he had not meant the man should become part of her furniture.
"Does he even sleep?"
"A folded mattress is brought for him at nights."
Livia closed the book. The truth was, Lionel’s presence unsettled her more than it comforted her. Theodora had not come near her since the king’s departure. "Perhaps he needs to be ordered to rest."
"By you?"
"Why not?"
Tabitha gave her a look.
"What?"
"My lady, Lord Ashcroft obeys the king, the Crown, and possibly God."
"I can be persuasive." Livia rose and reached for a shawl. Tabitha watched her wrap it around her shoulders.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to speak with my shadow."
Livia opened the door and stepped out of the apartment. Lionel sat on a chair near the wall. At the sight of her, he rose at once, thinking she was headed somewhere.
"My lady..." Lionel said.
"You can relax," she said. "I merely came to sit with you."
Behind her, Tabitha appeared with a chair. The maid placed it opposite Lionel. Livia sat, smoothing her skirts, while Lionel remained standing.
"I do not need company, my lady," he said.
"I do."
"Tabitha can keep you company. Lady Bella just left here a few minutes ago. I can send for her again, if you want."
"I needed someone new."
Lionel’s brows moved slightly. "I assure you, my lady, I am terrible company."
"And yet I see you loose with Stephen."
"Stephen is different. We are friends."
Livia tilted her head. "I wonder why we are not."
"Once upon a time," Livia said, "you helped me. You and His Majesty saved me from that mob in Cheapside when I stole a book."
Lionel’s mouth thinned. "Left to me, I would have handed you to the mob. You were a thief."
"You delivered His Majesty’s messages to me at Beaumont’s," she continued, deliberately ignoring his resistance.
"He asked me to."
"You saved me from Beaumont’s auction," Livia said.
"That was not me. Stephen was given orders by the king."
"You are protecting me now," she said.
"Again, His Majesty’s order."
"I guess that is what we have in common," she said at last. "His Majesty." Livia’s fingers tightened in her lap. "You look at me as if I planned all this. As if I woke one morning and decided to become the king’s mistake. I did not choose His Majesty’s attention...So tell me again, why aren’t we friends? Why do you see me as an enemy for something I have absolutely no control over?" Livia asked.
"Let us say I decided to give you control," Lionel said. "Give you a choice to leave London, give you all the gold you need. Enough to go wherever you pleased. Far from His Majesty." His eyes stayed on hers. "Would you take it and leave?"
"No," she said.
"Then you do have control."
"You don’t understand," she said. "I do want control over my own life."
"Then leave."
"I have been passed from one man to another since the moment I had enough sense to know what was happening," she said, her voice lowering. "I do not want to run...I want to stand my ground."
"That is what you need. My concern is what the crown needs."
"I came to sit with you because I needed to blackmail you actually," she said.
he chuckled. "Some things cannot and will not happen."
"Oh, I disagree. I am going to stay here with you for as long as you choose not to go and rest." She folded her hands in her lap, terribly pleased with the elegance of her own wickedness. "I’m going to mass with Lady Bella in the morning, and I am sure you would want to escort me."
"You are not going to sit out here all night."
"Then go and rest."
"This is childish."
"It is either you go and rest," she said, "or both of us will sit here together until morning with no rest whatsoever."
Lionel crossed his arms. "You would not last."
"I survived days at Beaumont’s with little to no sleep. And I feel really faint already. I might collapse from exhaustion. Think how terrible that would look."
"You have wicked traits, my lady."
"I picked up one or two things from His Majesty." She leaned back, crossed her legs, and settled into silence.
Let him try to outstubborn her. She had no idea how stubborn Lionel could be, but she knew the shape of her own endurance.
A cold night was nothing. Lionel watched her for several moments. He seemed to be measuring whether she was bluffing.