Chapter 292: You Did Not Eat
Livia turned over in bed and gave him her back. Henry stopped just beyond the curtain. That was the first sign that he had, in fact, made a terrible mess of things.
He stood there for a moment, looking at the rigid line of her shoulders beneath the coverlet. Her hair spilled over the pillow and her face was turned towards the wall.
It was humbling. Unfortunately, it was also deserved.
"You did not eat," he said.
Silence answered him.
Henry drew a slow breath. "You need to keep your strength up."
Still nothing.
Not even the smallest movement. He exhaled heavily.
"I should not have said what I said," he said. "I apologise."
Nothing.
"I spoke out of fear."
Still nothing.
Henry rubbed a hand over his face. "Livia, please say something. I give you permission to be angry. Say whatever hurtful thing you wish to hurl at me." He took one step closer. "You may call me cruel."
No response.
"Livia," he said softly. "Look at me."
She did not move.
He waited.
She continued to face the wall.
"I command you to look at me," he said.
That got a response. Livia moved with such offended purpose that Henry immediately knew he had chosen the worst possible sentence in all of Christendom. She pushed the coverlet aside and shifted towards the edge of the bed, refusing his hand when he instinctively stepped forward to help her.
"Livia."
She ignored him and got to her feet. Her face remained lowered, her fingers folded before her, her posture painfully formal. She was not standing before him as Livia. She was standing as a subject before her king.
Because he had commanded her. God, he was an idiot. Henry looked at her bowed head and felt shame move through him.
Then he lowered himself to the floor. First one knee. Then the other. Livia lifted her head in shock.
"Your Majesty!" she cried. Her face flooded with alarm. She glanced instinctively towards the curtain, as if expecting half the council to burst in and perish from scandal.
Henry remained on both knees before her. "I am sorry."
She stared at him. The sight plainly unsettled her. "Stand up," she whispered.
"I was afraid," he continued. "I was afraid of losing the part of you that drew me in. And instead of telling you that I understood, I compared you to the woman who nearly let you die. That was unforgivable."
Livia looked down at him, still visibly shaken. "What am I supposed to do with this? If I refuse to accept your apology, I am disrespecting the Crown. If I accept it, I am pretending it did not hurt me."
"It does not matter if you accept it now. I only need you to see that I am genuinely sorry. You may remain angry for as long as you need. Besides," he said, "when I am your husband, you may disrespect me. Please do not do it in front of council, though. I have a reputation to protect," Henry said, a little smile crossing his lips at the last part.
She lifted the hem of her gown and lowered herself to the floor beside him. When she was finally still, she exhaled. "I was hurt...I am hurt. But you were not entirely wrong."
"I was," he said at once. "I promise you, I was."
"Holy Mary," Livia said, turning her head towards him. "Would you please get off your knees?"
Henry looked down at himself as though he had forgotten his position. Then he chuckled, shifted, and sat on the floor beside her.
It was a ridiculous sight, really. The King of England and his soon-to-be queen sitting on the floor like two children.
Livia folded her hands in her lap. "I had a moment of self-reflection before everything became so tangled. Bella’s death...It pulled something out of me that I did not recognise. I saw red. " She swallowed. "I know that does not make sense."
He shifted closer and placed an arm around her shoulders, drawing her carefully against him. "I should have realised that you lost someone special to you...I was not the only one grieving Bella. You had no time to grieve her properly. I am sorry." He rested his cheek lightly against her hair. "This place may change you, Livia. I would be lying if I said otherwise. Whitehall changes everyone who stays long enough. It teaches caution first, then cruelty if one is not careful."
Henry’s hold tightened gently. "But you will remain Livia. You will always be kind, even when you are furious. You will always forgive more than I would advise, which is admirable.Hell, you earned Lionel’s respect, and believe me, that is not easily done."
Livia opened her eyes. "I thought as much."
"I should never have faulted you for fighting back. I had to learn to fight too." He kissed the top of her head. "But if you will allow it, let me fight your battles from now on."
Livia lifted her head and looked at him. "All of them?"
"As many as you will give me."
"Right," she said. "I will simply stop by every now and then in the middle of council and say I need the King of England to handle a stable boy who forgot to feed Libertà."
Henry’s mouth twitched. "Perhaps not something quite so simple."
Livia laughed softly, and Henry’s face changed. He looked at her as if she had given him something holy.
"There," he murmured. "Right there. That is what I always want to see, my queen."
Livia’s smile froze. Her eyes widened. "Oh God," she breathed.
Henry’s brows rose. "What?"
"That is what people are going to call me."
"Eventually."
"Oh God."
"Livia."
"Oh God."
She shuffled away from him in sudden panic.
"What if I do it wrong?"
"You will."
Her eyes snapped to him. "Henry."
"So did I. So does everyone. The only people who believe crowns arrive with wisdom are people who have never worn one."
Livia pressed a hand to her chest. "I’m going to be Queen of England?!"
(Brought to you by Mar King 1/3)