Chapter 82: What... have I... actually done?
Hiora.
Honestly, it was a name Eiros had come across in some spoiler. He didn’t remember it clearly, didn’t even remember what that spoiler had been about. But he remembered one thing—Hiora was the surname of one of the characters.
He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, figured it was just some ordinary character name, nothing worth caring about. Not until today, not until he noticed a certain resemblance to Iroha, the surname Erness used.
Iroha had the exact same number of letters as Hiora, and the same letters too. As if Iroha were a name born from Hiora, its letters simply shuffled around.
So that was why Eiros said it. He wasn’t sure, but he decided to bet everything he had on it.
He spoke the name Erness Hiora, and in that instant, he found Erness frozen completely still, her face trembling as though in pain.
Her body, rigid in midair, made Eiros pause for a moment—but only a moment—before his pupils narrowed. He raised his hand, and this time, the motionless Erness was within his reach.
Eiros grabbed her by the neck, pulling her into his grip. Erness startled, trying to break free, but it was too late. Eiros pushed further, and the two of them shot forward, her body slamming once again into the wall of the residence, Eiros right along with her.
Baam—!!
Only this time, harder.
"Uagh..."
Unlike Eiros, who was numb to pain, Erness felt it fully, clearly. Seeing her wince, her pupils widening and trembling, her breath catching in her throat—it gave Eiros a small measure of relief.
He was breathing hard too. He hauled her body in with one arm, pinning her in place so she couldn’t slip away.
He wrapped one arm around her neck, locking her there, while making sure her arms and legs couldn’t move, his own legs pinning hers down.
He bit his lip. Erness struggled, clearly unable to move, and Eiros, unwilling to let his guard down even for a second, spoke immediately.
"Erness, can you hear me?"
Her body trembled.
Of course it did—that always happened whenever Eiros said her name. He didn’t know why, but he knew Erness was somewhere deep in unconsciousness.
So, if this was what it took, he simply had to keep going.
***
Erness—no, she was Renessa, borrowing her sister’s name.
Renessa didn’t know it, but she was certain she had sunk deep into the darkness. She couldn’t perceive it, not without reason, but also because she had already given up on everything.
Deep down, in the very bottom of her heart, she knew that the malevolent energy was truly consuming her now, and that soon, she would fully become a Vile Spirit.
’Will they be angry?’
In the midst of that cold darkness, Renessa thought this. But she couldn’t remember who—she didn’t know who would be angry—yet she knew she felt something enormous for them.
Certain faces surfaced in her mind, but every one of them was blurred and dark, as though something were holding them back.
Renessa lay there in the darkness. Her white hair spread loose across the cold, dark floor, while her gaze never once left the dark ceiling far above.
Up there, there was always a small light—like a star, terribly distant, terribly alone. She kept staring at that star, for no reason she could name.
She stayed silent. Silent, and silent still.
There was no emotion on her face except surrender. She let the version of herself out there finish everything, and she would just stay here, resting, until it was all over.
This was the right choice. All she had to do was wait—
"Erness!"
"....?"
"Erness... Hiora...!"
"...?"
Renessa tilted her head as she listened to a voice that sounded familiar, yet one she couldn’t place at all. And that voice—it had said the name Erness Hiora.
’Who is that?’
Who was Erness Hiora?
That shouldn’t have been an important name at all.
And yet, every time that voice said it, Renessa felt an unbearable pain in her chest. It was a suffocating kind of pain, and she hated it.
She covered her ears. "Stop...! Stop it!" But the voice didn’t stop, and it pierced straight through her hands.
Renessa bit her lip, her face pale, drenched in cold sweat. Her breathing grew ragged, so she pushed herself up and began to run.
’No! No...! Stop!’
She ran through that hollow darkness, but the voice kept echoing, refusing to stop.
"Erness... it’s me, it’s Eiros...!"
"Heugk—!"
The pain slowly crept upward, not only in her chest but in her head too, making her wince, making her want to cry.
Along with it, her mind filled with countless things—a sudden flood of memories she’d forgotten. Renessa collapsed, dropping to her knees, gripping her head tightly.
In the middle of that silence, in the middle of that endlessly echoing voice, she screamed so loudly it felt as though her brain was being injected with memory itself.
Those dark faces slowly began to reveal themselves. A young man with beautiful silver hair emerged, a handsome face, silver pupils the same as Renessa’s own.
Two other figures gradually came into focus as well. Then more, and more, appeared in her mind—everything Renessa had buried deep in the bottom of her heart surfacing all at once, all together.
She saw every one of them, every person precious to her. And then, once more, she saw the destruction—the moment they had all died, the moment she alone survived because of her sister’s sacrifice, and everyone else’s.
Then, struggling to survive alone as her stigmata awakened.
Every memory came flooding back, followed by the life that had continued on afterward—her becoming an academy student strong enough, eventually, to hunt down the hosts of the corruption seeds.
Meeting someone named Estiel, someone she could truly rely on, making friends with the humans there whose ways were barely different from the spirit race, and finally, meeting someone utterly fascinating.
"Erness...?"
She heard that voice again. It echoed, cutting through the silence, as tears fell and soaked her face. Renessa choked on her own breath, then lifted her head, her eyes empty.
"Ah."
The word slipped from her lips, and she saw that small star blinking above her, slowly, on its own, beginning to grow.
The dark room now filled with light, and with it, Renessa found once more the reasons she was angry, the reasons she was sad, the reasons she had despaired, and the reasons she had to keep living.
She drew in a breath, tears still falling without end.
"...What... have I... actually done?"
Her eyes opened. She returned to the real world.
***