Chapter 109 - 90: My Utmost, Until Death
The Emperor cupped her face.
Jiang Xian was stunningly beautiful. She had an oval face, willow-leaf brows, and phoenix eyes. Her pupils always glistened with a misty sheen, as if faintly intoxicated, and even when she wasn’t smiling, her gaze held a seductive charm. She possessed an unrivaled radiance, yet was also captivatingly delicate. No wonder her very first appearance to pay respects had drawn the wariness of Noble Princess Consort Rong, once the most dazzling beauty in the harem.
And yet, their beauty was both alike and unalike.
With Jiang Xian, the Emperor always felt an indescribable, intangible distance. The tighter he held her, the more he became aware of the chasm between them. "I didn’t say you were being forced," he said. "I’m just afraid you push yourself too hard."
The cool night wind had never bothered Jiang Xian before.
But at this very moment, goosebumps prickled on the arm hidden beneath her long sleeve.
It wasn’t because she was touched, and certainly not because her heart was stirred.
’People are creatures of experience; one’s childhood can affect their entire lifetime. In her past life, throughout her upbringing, any advice telling her she didn’t have to try so hard was, intentionally or not, a trap. The more people told her to relax, the more vigilant she became.’
’When she’d joined a certain company, a male colleague competing for the same promotion would often "casually" advise her against working so hard, saying that the long hours would ruin her looks and make it hard to find a boyfriend. She hadn’t believed a single word. She’d thrown herself into the grind and snatched up both the promotion and the raise.’
’At this moment, the Emperor was being genuinely tender, but Jiang Xian’s instincts were screaming danger.’
"Emperor, I simply want to treat you well."
The moonlight cast diamond-like glints in her eyes, making them shimmer with a fragile light.
Jiang Xian unconsciously raised a hand to her throbbing temples. ’I have to do something to prove I’m trying.’ This was the only way to soothe her pathological anxiety. Her pale complexion made the locks of hair falling beside her cheeks seem exceptionally dark.
"What does the Emperor want me to do? I’ve already made the sachet, and the garden is being designed. Is there anything else I can do?"
Jiang Xian’s words came out in a rush, her breathing quickening.
’Before she died in her past life, her doctor had prescribed medication. When she transmigrated, however, she’d only brought the psychological illness, not the pills.’
In the Emperor’s eyes, however, Noble Lady Gu had always been clever and docile. He doted on her immensely—how could she have any deep-seated worries? He couldn’t think of anything else to ask of a concubine, so he pointed jokingly toward the pitch-black water. "I’d like that narcissus blooming so beautifully in the pond. Can Xian’er fetch it for me?"
He waited for Jiang Xian to feign a pout and lean back into his arms.
But unexpectedly, his arms were suddenly empty. The beauty had stood up and, without another word, leaped into the pond.
Zhenqiu and Mian Xia cried out in alarm, "My Lady!"
It hadn’t snowed lately, but the weather was still frigid, and one could only imagine how cold the pond water was. Jiang Xian activated her temperature control halo a beat too late. The bone-chilling water soaked her to the core, but she paid it no mind, swimming straight for the narcissus.
From the Emperor’s perspective, the most striking image was of Jiang Xian’s slender, snow-white hand carefully plucking the narcissus.
"Get in the water and save her, now!"
At the Emperor’s frantic shout, the eunuchs skilled in swimming who were hidden in the shadows leaped into the water one after another, intent on saving Noble Lady Gu. Jiang Xian was a decent swimmer—good enough to have battled "water sprites" in countryside reservoirs—so when she saw rescuers approaching, she didn’t struggle, allowing the palace attendants to pull her from the water.
To avoid arousing suspicion, she had to deactivate the temperature control halo.
A chill seeped from the soles of her feet up through her limbs, but she felt satisfied. She shivered as she gave the order, "Don’t touch my hand. I’m afraid you’ll crush the flower."
When the Emperor, a whirlwind of shock, anger, and worry, reached the edge of the pond, he saw Jiang Xian offering up the perfectly protected narcissus with both hands.
Seeing that she was unharmed, his heart finally settled.
The Emperor ignored Liang Yuyin’s plea—"Emperor, the Noble Lady is still soaked..."—and helped her to her feet. He wanted to swat the troublesome narcissus from her hand, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he could only scold her. "I was just speaking idly! How could I possibly have you enter the water in this weather to pick a flower? Would I do such a thing?"
’Compared to the Emperor, all other lives were cheap.’
’But he wasn’t an emperor who recklessly disregarded human life. Even if he were to order a palace attendant into the water, he would have them prepare hand warmers and towels first... It wasn’t that he considered a palace attendant’s life so precious. But to have someone die from the cold just to pick a flower? Would he even want the flower then? What a terrible omen!’
’And for it to be Jiang Xian, it was simply not worth the risk.’
It was like casually telling a significant other you wanted some wontons from the other side of the city, and they actually drove three hours overnight to buy them, recklessly running red lights in the process. It might sound moving, but in reality, it’s terrifying. You would think the person was an extremist.
"Emperor,"
Jiang Xian said softly, her breath puffing out in a white mist, "I’ve delivered the flower into your hands."
’Subtext: My part is done. No returns or exchanges.’
Having just completed a "job," the part of Jiang Xian’s brain that had been compelling her to act finally, magnanimously, allowed her to relax. As her reason gradually returned, she slowly described her state of mind. "A moment ago, when I heard the Emperor wanted the narcissus, I felt an overwhelming urge to get it. I couldn’t pay attention to anything else. I have startled you, Emperor, and for that, my crime deserves a thousand deaths."
’The part about the urge was true. It just wasn’t born of love.’
Liang Yuyin produced a hand warmer and a blanket from seemingly nowhere. At a satisfied nod from the Emperor, he swaddled Jiang Xian up, turning her into a literal human scroll. Only her small, fair face was left exposed, staring blankly up at the Emperor.
Water droplets clung to her thick, dark lashes, making her look pitiful beyond measure.
The Emperor was still reeling from the shock. "When I said I wanted it... wasn’t it obviously a joke? With you acting like this, Xian’er, I won’t dare to jest in your presence again. If I were to say I wanted the moon in the sky, how would you go about getting it?"
’The client wants the moon from the sky. What should I do? Waiting for answers online, it’s urgent.’
"Then I would scoop it out of the pond for the Emperor."
"You really have it in for the water, don’t you?" The Emperor was exasperated. "Even if I were serious, Xian’er, you shouldn’t have risked your own safety. You could have just sent a eunuch who can swim. Liang Yuyin, tell us. What would you have done?"
"Yes, Your Majesty,"
Liang Yuyin replied, "To answer the Emperor, the eunuchs on duty in the Imperial Garden have special nets and long tongs for retrieving floating objects from the water."
The Emperor was speechless.
So you wouldn’t even need a eunuch who could swim. He was so exasperated.
When the bundled-up Noble Lady was carried back to Yizhu Pavilion, Chen Daying was already fast asleep, sleeping more soundly than anyone. He Xiang, who was on night duty, was shocked to see the concubine from next door, who had left on her own two feet, return carried horizontally.
The Emperor went to the main hall and watched her until she had drunk every last drop of ginger soup. Only when her hands had regained their warmth did he finally relax a little. "Xian’er, promise me you will never again treat your own body so recklessly. I know your affection for me; you don’t need to prove it like this."
Jiang Xian nodded obediently.
’If she didn’t have the system as a safety net, she truly wouldn’t have dared to get in the water.’
’She’d already performed the moving deed; might as well go all the way.’ She squeezed his hand back. "Whatever the Emperor desires, I will do everything in my power to achieve it..."
’She thought back to the corporate pledges she’d seen in the modern world, but they all felt too uncultured for the occasion.’
’Fortunately, a certain ancient figure had set a perfect precedent—a man who had worried himself sick for his lord and then poured his heart and blood out for his lord’s son—providing her with the perfect line to borrow:’
"I am willing to devote my all to the Emperor’s service, until my dying day."