I, A Soldier in the Field, A Ghost in the Smoke!

I don't know what Huiye used to make this red and white machine be able to play without plugging in. Anyway, she has a lot of weird things here, but Chen Yan has basically used it.

It is precisely because of playing games with Huiye during this period that Chen Yan seems to find that Huiye seems to be very addicted to these games. He often plays with him from morning to night, even if he clears one game, Huiye will soon bring another one. Many games, even Chen Yan has never played.

I played with Huiye for a whole day, and I don’t know if it was too tired. Huiye said to take a nap when she changed the game cassette. Who knew that Huiye was already very sweet when she recovered. Fell asleep on his lap, which made him a little bit dumbfounded.

But if this kind of life can accompany one's old age, it is probably a kind of luck.

Early this morning, he went to find mushrooms with the other party at the invitation of Meng Wolf yesterday evening, but this time he was not looking for mushrooms in the lost bamboo forest, but ran to other places.

Both of them are mushroom masters. Even if you haven't seen most of the mushrooms, you can roughly tell whether they can be eaten by just looking at them, but Chen Yan is here, even if they eat poisonous mushrooms, it is not a big deal for them. , Menglang can expel toxins with demon power. Chen Yan has a medical kit, and everyone has their own way.

Soon, Menglang began to choose mushrooms to cook soup, and Chen Yan was also choosing mushrooms to fry them in oil.

At this moment, Menglang suddenly said:

"Mr. Yan..."

"Ok?"

"Do you remember the little girl's past? That Eun avenged her past."

Chen Yan was a little surprised that Menglang would suddenly mention this, but he still nodded.

"Yes, but it can't be regarded as grace and revenge." Chen Yan wiped his hands with a towel, and said: "This is what happened when you have lost your self-awareness and self-control ability. In other words, Miss Wolf, you were not at that time. Myself."

He who was not good at speech before did not know when he started to like to talk. I heard that Grandpa used to say that this is exclusively for older people. Is he already very old?Touching Menglang's head, Chen Yan could feel the soft and warm touch of the ears on top of Menglang's head.

"My experience has told me that no matter what kind of creature it is, there are at least two kinds of existence in its inner essence. One is the self that has formed consciousness, and the other is when consciousness is not fully formed. The'instinct' of control."

"You really dare to say..."

"It's not that I dare not say it, but it's because it's really true." Chen Yan shook his head seriously: "That was my war, on a desert. Maybe our attack is not justified, but I am Soldier, I must obey the order. We and the enemy have been facing off and shooting behind the bunker. Finally, one night, we started a storm.

Meng Lang mechanically stirred the spoon in his hand, and Chen Yan had already attracted his attention.

"At that time, I had just participated in the war for less than a month. During the storm, I saw a young girl. She may be a poor man trapped in the middle by our two armies. She was holding the child with blood on her face. A rag was stuffed in the child’s mouth. It must be a helpless move.” Chen Yan sighed: “It’s a mistake in itself to show mercy to the other in a foreign country, but I still think if I My family has encountered this kind of thing, and I also hope that the enemy will have some pity. I extended a helping hand to her and pointed her to the direction to escape, in order to prevent her and the baby from being injured, and at least after escaping. With a certain probability of survival, I gave her my dagger, and also gave her a little bit of the leftover dry food. Although the words are not clear, I know that she is thanking me in another language."

Menglang was a little surprised, she seemed to think Chen Yan was a little naive at the time.

Chen Yan understood the meaning of Menglang's eyes, and he smiled.

"It was on that occasion that I truly learned how helpless and self-blaming it is to be dominated by'instinct'."

More than ten years later, he still missed this incident. Seeing Chen Yan's trembling teeth, Meng Lang put down the spoon in his hand with some distress, and gently hugged Chen Yan.

"Yan...nothing will happen, I believe that whatever you do is forgivable."

Taking a deep breath, Chen Yan grabbed his hair and continued: "We were divided into teams to fight, plus my team has a total of 7 people, but when we charged to the village where the enemy was confronting us, There is only me left in the team... Actually, there is only a distance of less than 600 meters.

Although there was no command from the commander, I still fitted the bayonet myself, and I was searching for some of the enemies that were hiding.And when I passed an adobe house, I was thrown down from the side. He was a burly man with a turban, shouting in a language that I didn’t understand, and the sharp point of the crescent dagger in his hand. Stabbed to my neck."

The scene is a bit nervous.

"I stretched out my hand to block it, but my hand was cut deep by the edge of the crescent dagger. I have forgotten the pain. If I were attacked like this, I would definitely cry out in pain. I tried to take him. The dagger was snatched off, and my mind kept yelling'I want to live, I don't want to die'. I've been struggling, and the opponent's strength is also great. I feel my body gradually becomes softer. During the fight, he blinded one of my eyes. My other eye could no longer see the way. I knew I might die here, so I didn’t know why. My whole person became crazy. I don’t think about anything anymore in my mind. Facing the enemy who rushes towards me, I just want to kill him. At this time, I have been dominated by instinct. At this time, I am no longer me, but natural."

This is the same as being drunk. It is impossible for a drunk to have no impression or memory of being drunk. These are the experiences deeply in his mind, and he cannot forget.

Therefore, Chen Yan thinks that all the talk about messing around after drinking is nothing but an excuse to escape responsibility and a reason to change from an ordinary person to a coward.

Therefore, he always refused to drink with the reason that his comrades wouldn't let him drink. This was because he didn't want to be ashamed and looked for reasons.

"When I am fully awake, I will already be in the field hospital. It is a tent, and the doctor has just performed the operation on me. But the memory in my mind will not lie to me..."

Chen Yan blamed himself: "I was fighting desperately with the enemy, but I was still downwind. Suddenly, a dagger appeared on the burly man's neck, and the blood spurted on my face, but I was fierce. Pushed away the strong man, and killed the woman behind him...the woman I gave the dagger to save me..."

Chen Yan shook his head: "It feels like a dream. I obviously did it, but I didn't have any real feelings. Therefore, I understand this feeling very well...I know very well..."

"Well, I understand, but Mr. Yan, if you have the opportunity to see each other again, what would you do?"

Menglang's face was a little red, she let go of Chen Yan, and went back to ask while stirring the mushroom soup.

"Is there a chance to see you again?" Chen Yan said bitterly, "I will probably observe what the other person has in need, and then go and give some help to the other person. I don't need too much burden. I can just help the other person. I am naturally responsible for the mistakes I made instinctively."

"Puff...This is really like what you would say." Meng Lang's eyes rolled and suddenly asked: "Then if the other party is single and can't find the other half, do you have to take the responsibility to be the other party? The other half?"

"Cough cough cough, Miss Wolf, what kind of crooked theory is this? This is my principle, and this is beyond my principle."

This is not a help, but it is more like paying off a debt. Chen Yan doesn't like this feeling.

"Really?" Meng Lang pouted, "I thought you would marry each other."

"No, it may be a bit cold-blooded. This is a moral help, and it is also a reasonable help, not a contract like master and servant."

"Huh? Is there a difference?"

"Of course there is. You must know that things like love can't be random."

Having said this, Chen Yan's expression became serious again, but Menglang seemed to think Chen Yan's performance was in line with expectations.

"But as long as you stay for a long time, what if you have love? Isn't this romantic?"

"Then what if it doesn't? Love is never a prevarication, some people may use'splashing youth and accumulating experience' as an excuse to escape responsibility, but in fact, they will still feel regret if they think carefully on a quiet night. Emotions, this is human nature. If you are proud, then you are truly hooked with grace. This kind of existence that is out of ordinary people’s thinking will call the other party'scum'."

Menglang blinked his eyes. At this moment, Chen Yan didn't understand what the other party was thinking.

"In layman's terms, it doesn't matter if there is love, right?"

"Well, but love is never a tall building built on the basis of guilt. Love is love. The compensation for guilt is the compensation for guilt. These are two aspects. However, the compensation for guilt can still be implemented on the basis of love. There is nothing to explain."

"You are really rigid." Meng Lang smiled: "I wanted to say something else, but it seems that I don't need it anymore. The soup is almost ready."

"Really?" Chen Yan scratched his head: "Many people say that I am rigid, but I think this is indeed reasonable."

"Yes Yes Yes."

Menglang came behind Chen Yan and pushed him forward, smiling and instigating vomiting: "Let’s make your fried mushrooms. The little girl is already hungry. If you can’t eat any mushrooms, I’ll eat you first. ."

"Okay, okay, such a big firewood will be ready soon."

Holding the pot on the wooden table in the kitchen, Menglang took out the two pairs of bowls and chopsticks and put them on the table, sitting on the stool with his face propped up, staring intently at the busy Chen Yan.

"This is what you said, the relationship between love and compensation."

She thought to herself.

However, if I hadn't had the itchy hands to go through the documents in Santuchuan twice, I would definitely not know about this, but I can read the information from a hundred years ago by just turning it through. It seems to be very fate.

While Menglang was enjoying this time, two guests came to Everlasting Pavilion.