Chapter 188 - 139: Miracle 2
"He collapsed from exhaustion. Low blood sugar and extreme overexertion. He fainted just now over at the emergency building..."
"Okay, I understand. Make sure he gets some good rest."
Shu Yuelong said, "When he wakes up, please give him a message for me—"
"Tell him that all of us are grateful and have the utmost respect for him."
Chen Hao nodded solemnly. "Okay, I’ll be sure to tell him."
After hanging up, Shu Yuelong surveyed the entire lab.
All the experts had already returned to their respective stations.
"Everyone."
Shu Yuelong clapped his hands.
They all looked up at him.
"Jiang He has collapsed from exhaustion."
"The next steps are purification and handover. Everyone, from this moment on, you’ll eat and sleep in the lab. We can’t let a kid show us up!"
"Let’s do it!" Professor Li was the first to respond, turning to immerse himself in the cell proliferation process.
The entire lab immediately kicked into high gear.
...
The sky gradually darkened.
An unknown amount of time passed.
Jiang He slowly opened his eyes.
His vision was blurry at first, only focusing after a few seconds.
A white ceiling, the lingering smell of disinfectant in his nostrils...
He moved his right hand and felt the slight sting from the IV in the back of it.
Turning his head, he saw Chen Hao slumped in a chair beside him, his head nodding as he dozed off.
Jiang He didn’t wake Chen Hao.
He lay there quietly. After a brief moment of emptiness, the memory of Old Lin’s death came rushing back like a flood tide.
A tightness began to form in his chest again.
A deep, abyssal guilt... still coiled in his chest.
He pushed himself up on the bed and slowly sat up.
He tore off the transparent film securing the IV, pulled out the soft catheter, and pressed a cotton swab against the bleeding point.
He got out of bed and put on his shoes.
He glanced at the time: eleven at night.
He walked to the stairwell at the end of the hall.
Leaning against the wall, he dialed his wife’s number.
"Dr. Jiang?"
The call was answered almost instantly. Shen Yu’s worried voice came through.
The moment he heard her voice, Jiang He felt tears welling up.
He tilted his head back, fighting to control his emotions. "Shen Yu..."
"I’m here, I’m here."
Jiang He closed his eyes, and tears silently slid from their corners.
"I couldn’t save him... A taxi driver. I put him on ECMO, I tried everything... It was no use. His lungs were completely whited out. He died right in front of me."
Shen Yu listened quietly, not interrupting.
"Did you know... that foreign businessman, the one from Mexico who brought the virus, he was supposed to have left China already. It was because of me. Because I used the posterior approach to save Zhou Guanglin’s father. To repay the favor, Zhou Guanglin stayed in Yangcheng to continue negotiations, which kept the businessman here."
Jiang He spoke faster and faster, his breathing growing ragged.
"I’m the one who changed everything. Old Lin wasn’t supposed to die. His daughter is still waiting for him to finish his shift and come home... I killed him, Shen Yu. I thought I could save everyone, but... but..."
He had been holding these words in for too long.
Even now, he could only, he only *dared* to say them to Shen Yu...
On the other end of the line, there was a silence that lasted for over ten seconds.
Shen Yu listened quietly.
Only when Jiang He had vented some of his emotion did she finally speak.
"Jiang He."
"Take a deep breath and listen to me."
"Are you really going to punish yourself for saving a man’s life, just because of how a natural disaster played out?"
Jiang He froze.
Shen Yu’s voice continued, "If you hadn’t used the posterior approach that day, Zhou Guanglin’s father would have died. You’re a doctor. When a critically ill patient is lying in front of you, your instinct is to save them. You can’t—and you shouldn’t—calculate the cause and effect of the entire world before making an incision."
"But I..."
"The real culprit is the virus, not the life-saving Lancet in your hand. Even if that businessman had left that day, the virus would have erupted in some other corner sooner or later. This was an avalanche that was destined to happen."
Shen Yu paused, her tone a mixture of heartache and pride.
"Jiang He, you just happened to be standing at the very front when the avalanche hit."
"Because you were standing there, you saw Old Lin fall. It’s painful, and I understand your feeling of helplessness. You can grieve for him, you can feel guilty, but you can’t let that negate everything you’ve done."
"If you hadn’t sounded the alarm early, if you hadn’t completed the sequencing... this city would have seen thousands upon thousands of Old Lins fall. Thousands upon thousands of little girls would be waiting for fathers who would never come home."
"You can’t write a script with a perfect ending for everyone, because you’re not God."
"You’re just a mortal, covered in blood and exhaustion, who forcibly shouldered the first wave of impact for the entire city."
In the stairwell, Jiang He’s tears flowed once more.
The omniscient perspective of a reincarnator had made him accustomed to blaming himself for every variable.
The moment something deviated from the plan, he would fall into a cycle of self-punishment...
"...Shen Yu."
"I’m here."
"Thank you."
"You don’t have to thank me. Go wash your face, eat something, and get a good night’s sleep. When this is all over, I’ll come find you, okay?"
"Okay."
He hung up the phone.
Jiang He lowered the hand holding his phone, his chest still heaving violently.
His wife’s words were like a rope pulling him from the water, but he could still feel the chill.
The sound of hurried footsteps came from around the corner.
Chen Hao came looking for him. "Holy shit, Old Jiang, you scared me to death! What are you doing out here?!"
Jiang He looked at his sweating friend, the daze in his eyes slowly clearing. "Sorry... Thanks for everything, Haozi."
"What are you saying that for! Come on, back to bed." Chen Hao supported him as they walked back. "What do you want to eat? I’ll go buy you something."
’Yeah, what should I eat...’
Back in the hospital room.
Chen Hao closed the door and went to buy food.
The room fell silent.
Shen Yu’s guidance hadn’t been a panacea that instantly erased the shadow of Old Lin’s death.
When he closed his eyes, he could still hear the girl’s suppressed sobs...
The butterfly that fanned the storm still fluttered in his mind, and the guilt wouldn’t just vanish into thin air tonight.
He even knew that Old Lin would probably appear in his dreams on countless nights to come.
But Jiang He took a deep breath, forcing himself to swallow the bitterness deep into his lungs.
’I can be in pain, I can feel guilty, but I absolutely cannot break down.’
’If I’m afraid to act because I can’t save everyone, if I choose to stand by and do nothing because I fear the butterfly effect, then what’s the point of my rebirth?’
’—Shen Yu is right. I’m a mortal, destined never to save everyone.’
’—But as long as I’m still wearing this white coat... I will use all my knowledge and skills to stand in the Grim Reaper’s way.’
’—I’ll save them one by one.’
’As a reincarnator, since I’ve glimpsed fate, I’m obligated to shoulder an even heavier responsibility.’
In this long game of chess against Death, he had no one else to rely on.
He could only force himself to give his all, to run faster than the disaster, and then faster still.
When Chen Hao came in through the door carrying a container of preserved egg and pork congee,
Jiang He was leaning against the headboard, texting with one hand.
The recipient was Zhou Guanglin:
[Guanglin, help me set up an account. Make regular deposits to support a girl until she finishes her university studies abroad.]
"Old Jiang, time to eat."
"Okay, thanks."
After Jiang He had taken a couple of bites,
he heard footsteps in the hallway.
Then, there was a knock on the door.
Jiang He said, "Come in."
The door was pushed open.
Lin Zhenhua entered, along with a middle-aged man wearing a dark jacket.
From Lin Zhenhua’s demeanor alone, one could tell.
This was a true VIP, someone whom people at Jiang He and Chen Hao’s current level should only be able to look up to on the news.
And he had canceled all his emergency meetings to come here, for just one purpose.