I Am Troubled That My Fiance Is a Villain

"So what have you come to do, princess?

Princess, my heart broke into a single word.

No, I'm sure you just said it by snapping at me. If I may be the third daughter the king is not supposed to exist, I may be too sensitive.

Nevertheless, I could die depending on where I came from, so I can't say I came to ask, and I was only thinking enough to cut out what was good on the spot nori, and I looked for words to say how I answered the query.

"Oh, good. Let me guess."

The Duke slapped his lips tongued with his standing index finger before offering Lucas with his finger. It was a rough move to play.

"I'm pretty sure Lucas was the one who brought you here."

Don't you feel like continuing your meal, the Duke folded the napkins messily. Following that, my oldest sons Harold and Lucas do the same.

Lucas' mouth, which tended to lean over, looked stiff.

"You should have been satisfied in your own world. Denying contact with others and living in your own little world, that should have been your top priority"

Exactly.

Look at me with astonishment and the Duke continues to snort.

"But there Lucas appeared. Lucas wouldn't ask for anything from himself. Of course I would have missed you. And vice versa, you know what others want, that you can stare at. It confirms the human contour of self, and if self develops, nature and greed arise. Desire is the essence of man."

Harold shakes his head like that.

The Duke kept talking, staring at each and every weave of the tablecloth as if to count.

"The most primitive desire concerns the maintenance of life, the safety of oneself. And when it fills up, this time it begins to seek connections with others. I'd rather be in a group than alone. or a desire to own or be owned by others. Once that is also met, this time, a desire for approval arises. I believe that this is also based on a kind of reassurance. Being proven and recognized as a worthy person will probably guarantee your life as an individual, right? When a group is in crisis, the first thing that gets truncated is the existence that can least benefit the group. This superiority gives man peace of mind and a proper sense of omnipotence"

Father.

In response to Harold's call, he turned his back on me and looked at me uncomfortably.

"Oh, I stuck in my world. I miss you because I like stories like this and if there's a gap, no one gets it right these days... Well, what you wanted to say was that, in due course, the desire that Emilia would have was a desire to make Lucas your own. It's a desire for ownership."

My face gets hot.

"No!

After yelling at me for a moment, I thought it was like saying that returning a reaction like this was a star in itself, and I took a deep breath and lowered my anger.

"I've never had such aspirations"

"Really?"

I'm not making fun of you, I'm not making fun of you, I'm purely listening.

"Thinking about wanting someone to be your own property is wrong in itself. We should each live with respect and harmony"

Respect for fundamental human rights.

That's like learning in a primary school society!

Although there is no elementary school in this world, there is no Japanese Constitution!

The Duke makes a big laugh shaking his heavily seemingly belly about what's funny.

"Have you come with respect and harmony!

Did I say something strange?

I was going to say something common sense.

Feeling uninterrupted, he glances at Lucas and Harold in the seat across the street, but he looks at the Duke with no expression like a doll, all aligned.

Only one of me is getting emotional, and I feel terribly white.

"I'm sorry, I thought you said something a lot smarter and more decent than I expected. I was fooling around that it would be less than or equal to Michelle at best. No, I'm surprised."

"Thanks for that."

"Ha, don't be so mad at me. It's going to shrink if you're taunted with that mother-like scary face."

Mother.

The similarity would mean, of course, the birth mother.

Yes, I came here because I wanted to know.

I'm not here to chat about something small and difficult with an old man who can't eat anything fat.

"I see, is hope about knowing your own origins? Around... you seem to be following it lightly"

The Duke, who felt my change at last, smiles as if he was in trouble for some reason.

I can't deny the feeling of being rolled over your palm like it's kind of good, but it's hard to hope the topic rolls over there.

As I stared with the meaning of affirmation, the Duke sighed small with an age-appropriate face, turning away from the delightful offensive look he had shown so far.

"What do you do when you know that? We can't just lock ourselves up and live anymore."

"Yes, but I'm also tired of running away from myself"

"I'm tired, you know"

I could tell from his face with his cheek wand on his white appearance that his interest in me was rapidly disappearing.

"I have already said the answer. And you're on your side."

"What does that mean"

Once again, I listen back in frustration to the elusive rhetoric.

Maybe I'm being tried. How much conversation can you follow and observe? Maybe patience is also being tested.

Though I feel like I can't do it unless I think so.

I don't like it.

The back of the heart tries to bother.

I've already said the answer.

That one word is so disturbing, it makes me want to escape without matching answers.

But the race was already thrown. No, I threw it myself.

"Emilia, why do you think I took you? It would not have been strange to be killed right after birth. No one wanted your birth. That it was a mistake. But you certainly deserve it. To your blood, to be exact. And the blood shall be passed down among the powerful."

It seemed to get caught up in an irresistible stream.

No, we need to change the flow.

"You want me to marry you? Just kidding. There's no such thing as upbringing, and I'm telling you what a woman who could be any horsebone is worth. I don't want luxury. I'm even thinking that if you give me a little money, you can throw me out to Ichii. And if possible, I want to live quietly with Lucas. He paints as he pleases, looking for something I want to do too, and then he may live separately, but as a close sister and brother..."

"It's a ridiculous dream"

She said pimple and her body trembled a little.

I hadn't had the experience of people getting mad at me for a long time, so the tough eyes I could turn to for a long time were a lot scarier than I imagined.

The Duke's eyes looked to one and to me, then to Lucas.

Like I'm figuring out what to do with these stupid kids.

"Neither I nor the world are gentle enough to make you like me the same way I've always been, than I found out I'm not stupid or crazy"

"I'll live as I please! If you're telling me to leave, I'm telling you to leave!

I hope they laughed at me for running away again.

As a convenient comma, it's a hell of a story to let you get married and die.

I have no obsession with this life, nor with the world, but I also have a heart, and a dignity. I don't even remember letting that go.

"The leaves of the trees that flow through the river cannot resist the flow of water, and you are a special leaf of the tree. Or did you think you could live as you would with the power of your own will, that you were the only one special? You locked me in and didn't try to see anything?

"I...!

I couldn't say anything back.

Because I've been told Zubali that I've been trying not to look at it myself.

My blood draws me away and my hands and feet feel diminished.

I have to say it back.

I would have thought to run away saying this if they'd said something like this properly, but my head would have turned bright white and I would only be able to move it if I puffed my lips pointlessly.

"Father, it's my fault. Because I asked Emilia."

"Don't be a smart tea man, Lucas. I thought something like that would work for my father."

Whenever the Duke uttered words, the piscilli piscilli and frozen air seemed to crack.

And he finally let go of a decisive word to me.

"I feel sorry to be sheltered by my brother. Still willing to run, Princess, Emilia"

Impulsively I was getting up with the momentum to kick the chair, rounding off the napkins.

And he didn't even listen to the stop, he popped out of the dining room.

I could hear Lucas calling from behind but ignoring him, he kept going early enough with his big crotch and by the time he reached his separation he was almost running already.

Open the door ramblingly and go straight to the bedroom.

Because that was the safety zone for me.

"Don't be ridiculous."

From between eaten teeth, my eyes get hot when I squeeze them out like that.

The Duke called me a princess.

And I also said it was my blood that was worth it.

I mean, I'm a princess who's not supposed to exist officially.

Emilia was the mother of Bernhardt, the villain of "The Lilac's You," who was only a character who would die soon after giving birth to him.

I was going to be ready to maybe be.

But it was fierce anger that came to my heart, knowing it seemed like a lot.

I'm not kidding.

Do you want me to reincarnate myself, marry as the Duke says, and give birth to Bernhardt and die?

Why me?

When are you gonna tell me I wanted that!

"Are you kidding me......! Bullshit! Bullshit!!

Throw in allowances or gradually grabbed things and scream.

Why did I have to be Emilia?

How could I, how could I...

Why do you have to die!

I regretted it, I couldn't help but get annoyed.

It was against this world, even against that duke of metabolism, and more importantly against himself who could only cry that he hated it now.

If there was one like God who made me Emilia, I would never forgive him.

I'll buckle you.

"Emilia!

Leaving myself to anger, I was just about to slap the vase to the floor, and I only regained a little calm when I heard Lucas.

I guess he's been running after me, breathing on my shoulders and messing with my hair.

It was as if there was a room where he had left the windows open on a stormy night. He had lost a few words, but slowly walked over here to avoid stepping on scattered objects.

And gently pull out the vase I was trying to shake down but was trying to hold it in my chest because I stopped on the way.

I've always had a bad personality at controlling anger.

This may have been a little too much though.

I thought so with my head getting a little chilly thanks to Lucas, but at the bottom of my belly, the hot stuff was boiling down to guts.

"Emilia......"

Lucas, who kept the vase away, didn't seem to know what to say, but I think it was just a big deal to put it in the room of a woman who woke up this hysterical.

Can I assume that's all you've worried about me?

As Lucas' hand asks for me, it reaches this way.

Lucas thinks of me......

"No."

I shook my head to correct my mind tilted in some bad direction, and I grabbed his shoulder and moved away from myself.

I thought I shouldn't be involved with this kid any more.

Anyway, I was forced to marry a man I didn't even know very well, and if I had a child, I would die.

We don't need to get deeply involved and hurt each other.

Besides, even if I didn't do this, Lucas in the game would meet her first love, and she would have run away from home on her own and become a painter.

Hope the heroine saves his life after that, I just have to die.

I don't need to think about anything anymore.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Really, everything, it's ridiculous.

"I don't feel well. Will you leave?

Releasing his shoulder to thrust, Lucas opened his mouth to Pocan and looked up at me.

You are very shocked or you can see the whiteness of your face even indoors that are not lit. I'm sure I'll never look good either.

"But..."

"Get out."

I boiled my business down to not trying to move forever, and I grabbed his arm and left the bedroom.

And clutteringly grabbing and pushing the painting tools that were placed beside the fireplace.

"Uh."

"Don't ever come here again."

My chest was about to burst to death.

I want to beat myself to death.

I couldn't help but be ashamed of myself for dreaming shallow, stupid, and convenient.

Yes, it's a convenient dream.

In a bathroom like the bottom of that night, I stupidly expected a future to live with Lucas.

I wondered how cheerful it was to be able to live freely with him.

Though he said I was almost determined to die soon.

"I have no place but here. I apologize if I did something that bothered you. If you don't like the smell of paint, I won't use it here anymore. So..."

"That's not what I'm talking about"

"Oh no, Emilia"

"I'm having a hard time with you any more. So don't come any more."

Even though I'm not angry with Lucas, because of the extra emotion, I get stubborn words.

I'm sorry I have to hurt everything I can shake, like that.

As I was dying of self-loathing, Lucas tried to hold my hand with a melting tear.

"Don't touch me!

Reflectively, he pays off and is attacked by a tremendous sense of guilt.

The hand I shook off hurt tingly, but I didn't apologize.

I am about to let go of a boy who is seen with cold eyes by his fallen and family, has no place to be and is only allowed to paint as he pleases in such a lonely detachment.

That and this because this boy is my beloved Lucas.

That is why we must not get involved any more.

If the consequences were to make Lucas unhappy, I'm sure I'll regret it, and I can't take responsibility.

'Cause he's dead by then.

"You shouldn't have involved me."

"Why would you say that? I hate everyone but Emilia!

He had never been so absurd in his voice.

Grabbing the hem of my clothes, which surprises me and rounds my eyes, Lucas spills a mellow tear.

"My father says I look the most like myself, and even though I'm not having any fun, the next thing I know, he does everything from studying politics to fighting, and because of that, I'm depressed by my brothers, and I just want to see something beautiful. I just want to show everyone something beautiful..."

"Then you shouldn't be involved with me."

"... because Emilia is the princess?

"That's right."

Though the real reason is probably not the same as what Lucas thinks.

Seeing as he wasn't going to let go of his clothes hem yet, I decided to push him further.

"Hey Lucas. I dream."

"A dream?"

"Yes, dreams. This world is just an unwaking dream for me. So whether you die or not, I don't care what happens to you. Because it's a dream."

"Are you saying that I'm only part of your dream, too?

"Yes, so please disappear."

To put it this far, you'd be just as frightened and abandoned about me.

I'm not interested in you because it's a dream, it's like I said. I must have felt bad.

As I expected, I lose the feel of the hem of the clothes that have always been pulled.

As I stared at his tweezer, who leaned down, I looked back in surprise because of the momentum he had raised his face.

Lucas spread the toolbox on the floor and took out the appropriate brush, either to catch tears or to rough his nose.

"If anyone is after your life, I will protect them. Even if this world is a temporary dream for you and I was nothing more than that character, I will protect you and make you happy for as long as I live. 'Cause you're prettier than anyone else, and I like you."

Lucas grips the brush with both hands, turning his face bright red and putting force on his hand.

There was a crisp sound of a broken brush, and a brush rolled onto the floor that was unbroken and twofold.

"What are you doing!?

Grabbing my hand as I rushed to pick up the brush, Lucas says clearly and loudly.

"For that I will also give up the path of painting. I'll be stronger than anyone."

The long forehead was disturbed and his eyes were revealed.

Obsidian eyes staring straight at me.

"So don't turn me down."

As he was staring into his powerful eyes and solidified, he was gently drawn to his head and embraced.

It's a neck muscle. While I was listening to the breathing of a sniffling creature, I thought it was terribly ridiculous that I was teasing and angry at myself.

I'm much more of a child than Lucas, a pitiful person.

When I caressed his little head in mindfulness and combed his soft hair, I could see my hugging arms tightening up all the time.

"You tell me not to run away, too."

"I don't know. If Emilia wants to run, I'll let her go. [M] If you fight, I'll kill you whatever you want."

Laughter spilled all over the radical remarks.

"What are you talking about to the kid's forehead?... you just have to take a good look at me so I don't get frustrated"

Gently pull Lucas off, and now it's time to take a broken brush that rolls on the floor.

"Fool. You can't break a brush if you think for me. I like Lucas' paintings."

"Yeah."

"Because I'm a real idiot"

"Yeah. So stay close. Please."

I did not nod to that wish.

Instead this time I embraced him from myself.

"Do you think Lucas wants me to live?

"Isn't that obvious!

"Oh well."

Will it still make it?

Can I change my future?

Oh, it's a pain in the ass just to think, and I have no idea what to do. I'm going to make a terrible mistake, and I just have to be scared right now.

It's like being thrown out into a desert like this and going home alive.

If there are still people who wish me so much to stay alive and that's important to me, I guess I'll have to walk out of here and there.

"I said terrible things earlier, and I'm sorry I gave you my hand"

"Yeah. It hurt a little"

"Sorry."

"... Fine"

The back of my nose hurt and I found my eyeballs to have a fever.

Lucas's leaking whimper echoed in his sternum, and he felt as if he could have been in one piece with him.

In time, every bit of the world was distorted, pompous and tears flooded at will.

We have to live properly from now on.

That must be painful and painful and my heart gets messed up about something that can't be helped, but still I want to dream.

It's not like I don't even know if I'm living or dead without a blurry outline, but a dream that Lucas and I are going to live together.

The body temperature of Lucas I hugged was a little high and I felt so comfortable living in pain.