I Am Troubled That My Fiance Is a Villain

Focus is interrupted by the faint sound of the collision of fudge and ceramics.

When I looked up, I saw Lizzie and I just put the cup on the table.

"How far could you read?

Been reading my mother's diary all night, she looks neat because it was after she woke up from her sleep.

"After a quarrel with the Duke, I woke myself up, but until it said I was finally determined to die for my uncle as well"

"Oh, there you go. Well, maybe half a dozen more, then. Looks like it's taking a while, unexpectedly."

Sitting face to face, Lizzie pours milk into the tea and stirs with a spoon. There was a crisp, hard noise and the smell of soft milk and tea plundered my nose.

From the kitchen, a maid came from the main building only to take care of us. There was a noise of working, and the dust glistened in the sunlight, which was completely elevated.

It was a relaxing afternoon.

As I turned the page I had read so far, I pointed to a cause that was taking longer than I thought.

"Sometimes words come up that don't make sense. Like this or something."

Indicating the word "tundelle" in one sentence written about Darius clearly catches Lizzie's face.

"Uh, I guess it's okay if I don't know that..."

Really?

Well, if that's what Lizzie says, I guess so.

"Honestly, it's just amazing."

I've managed to understand the idea of a previous life because there was talk of Lizzie, but it's a little easy to get ahead of me from there.

First of all, my mother knew it would happen in our living times in previous lives. Taking this as the point of modernity, she was born in the past, in a state that only knows what the future is called in the past.

Having met her still young uncle of the past, she realizes that she was born into a modern and continuing past.

Having questioned her identity at the same time, she came to a conversation with the Duke to gain certainty that she was supposed to be dead in modern times.

Games, routes, etc. probably seem slightly different from what I think they mean, but I don't have any idea. But my mother's text doesn't have the purpose of letting someone read it, so it inevitably takes me a while to figure out what it says.

Expressing those thoughts in a rough way, Lizzie flaunted the edge of her mouth at random.

"Something, I'm sorry"

"Why would Lizzie apologize?

"I don't know... as a representative of a geek who's been reincarnated by principles I don't really understand, you say you want to apologize"

I wasn't sure, and I didn't seem to want you to go too deep into it, so I flush it properly.

"But I never thought my mother would have liked my uncle."

Whatever you did, that could have been the biggest surprise.

I just thought it was something my uncle was unilaterally thinking about anyway, and I didn't even think my mother was such a humane person.

A mother who is harsh, selfish and angry, but can't abandon what happened to her uncle.

I can't even obsess with living. The only thing she obsessed with was her uncle.

"It's like my mother was alive for my uncle again."

"You look incredible."

"Wasn't Lizzie surprised?

"Of course I was surprised. But I feel like I know how Emilia feels."

Lizzie elbowed and glanced a little farther.

"I don't know if the feeling we had of being in love with each other in a previous life was the closest I could ever get to being in love with over the glass, but still wanting to watch, wanting to be supportive"

Her tone, speaking toward the garden, is somewhere fluffy, as if dreaming.

"That's when you're suddenly born in the same world, touching each other, and as you get involved, the glass disappears, and suddenly you're scared that the person in front of you is a biological person. I wonder what you think I like about this guy. But I've known and liked this guy for a long time now, so I just have to be prepared to say that it's never going to happen again that I don't like him."

"... that's about a real experience, isn't it?

"Yes...?

After a suspicious look, my body hardens to the point where it's so funny to be picky.

She realized that she was embarrassing herself, and Lizzie shouted out loud.

There was a blunt sound of a bump in the forehead with the gon, but it didn't hurt. Perhaps embarrassment is winning.

I can't help but feel hot in the face just now, either.

"Can I assume it's me who Lizzie likes to be in that story from her previous life?

I tried to peek in through the gap, but I could only see about my bright red ears.

Still, I knew enough that she was illuminating.

"I don't know! I don't know anything! I will be a shellfish!

"That's troublesome. If you don't tell me exactly how long Lizzie liked me, I'm curious and I can't keep reading."

"Kill me for one thought!

Stepping on the estate as she sat down, Lizzie screamed.

A maid who came to see how things were because she was pretty loud goes back to the kitchen smiling as she finds Lizzie bored with shame.

You don't have to hate me that much.

I generally feel that the number of times I have told Lizzie's favor and the number of times I have been told is overwhelmingly low, so I want this opportunity to be as solid as it sounds.

"Hey, did Lizzie like me the most before you met me?

It's very important, so I really wanted you to tell me and I asked her seriously, and she woke up upside down.

But I don't say anything, I don't do anything, I mumble in silence with strangely sitting eyes.

I wasn't going to pull this one back until I got the answer either, and as I stared back, my gaze gradually began to swim slightly and my face became red.

When you realized there was no sign of breaking from me, you sighed very loudly.

Lizzie opens her mouth in shame.

"But I think Mr. Emilia probably liked it more from his previous life. No, I mean, if I'd done the Bern route right, I might have been very upset. But! I feel sorry for Bern the other day in my previous life, as much as I wanted to make you happy, and I wanted to support you, well it was a little special compared to the others..."

"Don't you like that a lot? Actually, I made you happy."

"Gu......!

For some reason he held his chest, and Lizzie slammed against the table again.

Gong! and sounds more painful than just now.

"I can't. I'm embarrassed. I'm done with this story!

"Okay. I'm going to ask you again slowly."

"You demon! You're the devil!

I don't remember it becoming such a horrible thing.

No, but now I've definitely decided to ask him from what to go into detail.

'Cause I couldn't believe Lizzie had thought of me in a special way for a long time. I never thought of that amazing.

If Lizzie told me right next time, I would tell her that I was truly happy with the fact.

Refreshing our minds, we decided to continue our journal together.

Because from there on out, it was basically a bullet point, and it was a little difficult for me to lack knowledge of the past life and things like that.

This is what happens when I summarize what I decrypted while getting Lizzie to help me.

Emilia dies if she marries and gives birth to Bernhardt.

The marrying partner is the Brunsmeyer family.

"I think Emilia thought if we didn't get married, we wouldn't have to die."

"Don't you have to give birth to me?

Lizzie turned out to be like she had eaten something so bitter.

"No, you can't marry me, you can't marry someone else."

"... probably thought having a child would cause death"

I see. My mother actually died giving birth to me, and she probably wasn't strong enough to stand the birth. If so, it is safest not to marry.

"My being here meant that my mother had failed to survive, and I would not have been born if my mother had survived as she wished. It's kind of weird."

"Me too. I hate Bern so much that I had no idea which one to support while I was reading his diary"

There will be nothing to support things that have already been decided to end.

I thought so, but I decided to put a gavel on her because I like her goodness.

My mother survived by avoiding marriage, but at the same time she was distressed.

I was wondering if not having me in this world would cause something terrible to happen.

Even realizing that it had drastically changed her uncle's life, she had no one to talk to and worried about her troubles.

But if she was conservative and attacking, she was the type of person who would choose to attack.

If we've changed one, we've come to the conclusion that we should completely change everything else.

It was the then Crown Prince, the current king, the father of former His Royal Highness Edwin, who my mother laid eyes on.

His Highness Fritz, then twenty-four years old and unmarried, was looking for exactly the woman who should be the queen of the future.

A girl who was my fiancée from a young age died of illness, and Fritz apparently had been plugged in for several years. Because of this, the next fiancée decision was difficult to navigate, and the surrounding area turned out to be difficult.

Fritz's father, the previous king, who saw such a situation, decided to hold an exchange gathering men and women of aristocracy a year later in the summer. The point is the pageant.

Fritz must have been forced to make someone he met at this exchange a future queen.

And my mother decided to take advantage of this opportunity.

If you've changed one, so have the others.

In other words, Fritz appreciated a woman different from the one he was supposed to choose, and he thought of creating a future where His Highness Edwin would not even be born.

Why I thought it was such a hassle, but I can also think that my mother probably wanted to queen a woman who had no interest in politics, considering that Edwin's mother, the Queen, had been sifting through power for a long time.

My mother's note said that I might be able to work in the royal palace if I sold my favor by making the most well-behaved child queen.

I suppose he thought that if he obtained his status as a royal maid of honor and asylum from the queen, the Duke of Retgar would also be unable to speak strongly of marriage.

And my mother negotiated with the Duke.

Mother's request is for freedom for herself and Lucas.

Instead, my mother took part in an exchange meeting at the behest of the Duke, which meant that Fritz would work to avoid choosing an unfavourable woman from the Duke.

And for a year and a little while before the Exchange, my mother and Lucas shall have a solid education prepared by the Duke.

It seemed pretty rubbing for Lucas' education, but there was no reason my mother could beat the Duke.

My mother was to run to achieve her goal of finding the most convenient woman for both the Duke and my mother and making her queen.

Then, first, with regard to the year and a little while until the Exchange, little is written in the diary.

Early to late every day, you must be carefully beaten about the manners, studies, and the knowledge and behavior necessary to work. Sometimes Lucas seemed busy. Gathering human information and getting depressed when you're narrowing down candidates, wondering if this makes sense at a mundane moment. Still, that I decided to live for Lucas, too.

There were prose, sometimes indistinguishable beatings, etc., but on the contrary, the fact that my mother was indeed alive loomed in front of me and my chest ached a little.

When I took a breath of late lunch, I raised my voice that Lizzie was.

"I'm having a break, why don't you take a peek in the bathroom?

"Was it the bottom of the night?

"Yes, yes! When I came in last night, I didn't even look at it carefully at all, so I wanted to take a good look at Bern and come up with it when I was eating dinner."

I just wanted to move a little while I sat down.

Admitted in two replies, we headed to the bathroom.

Take off your shoes and place your feet on a limp tile. The windows are open for ventilation and the bathroom smells slightly of soap and cold soil.

Lizzie's right, I didn't notice when I went in last night to wash my body, but the wall tiles darken from bottom to top, with starry sky paintings on the ceiling.

My mother wrote that this place was like the bottom of the ocean.

Because of this, so I try to get into the bathtub like my mother and uncle did, and then Lizzie folds her little body and trigonometrically sits where she should have stretched her legs to get in.

"Doesn't it hurt?

"The hem of the dress is like a cushion, surprisingly fine"

He's been trying so hard to clear the space for me to let him in, so I'm kind of anxious to tub away.

We both sat in a triangle horizontally, whether we managed to get in or not......

Fighting a little.

He roughly smashed his elbows around his knees and managed to subside in the form of throwing his legs out of the tub in the end.

"It's tough for someone with long legs"

Is there something wrong with my outfit, Lizzie says that with a face that makes me laugh? She laughed when she got a little angry and pulled her cheek, hurting to see what was happy.

As she rubbed her pulled cheek, Lizzie looked up at the ceiling and raised her voice, hehe, not so sure.

Her chestnut hair, seen against a dark blue tile background, looks warmer than usual.

"A ship that goes to the bottom of the night is a beautiful expression."

I soon realize it was a word in my diary.

Sure, my mother gave it back to my uncle, who said she wanted the tub colored too, like a boat going to the bottom of the night. So my uncle cried out, so I was very surprised.

"I think I like my uncle."

"I wonder if Lucas liked that about Mr. Emilia, too"

"There's nothing I'd rather dislike, I'm going to say I like everything"

"Or so it is."

Somehow I look up to the top left and imagine my uncle like that. It was so easy to imagine, I stopped right after being stupid.

My mother must have loved my uncle like that.

I think.

Then why am I here? [M]

Perhaps I am the product of her failure.

"... when I'm reading it, I think. This guy's so upset, he's gonna end up failing."

"Are you sad?

"I don't know. But it's not fun."

"It's okay. Even if in the end it was only a failure, because Mr. Emilia didn't resent or do anything about Bern."

"Because I read that to the end?

"There's that, too, but a woman's idea, like?

Lizzie joked and said so, but she knew more about my mother than I did, maybe than my uncle.

... and that.

"... Lizzie, oh my God"

"Duh, what's wrong?

"I want to get out early because my body hurts, but I don't feel like I can get out in the first place"

"Ahhh."

In the form of Lizzie pulling me out of the tub first, I slipped out. [M] I honestly don't want to do it again because I might have felt closer to saying I would pull or pull out, and when I left, I hit my elbow and shoulder in a grand way.

Lizzie, who told me to go into the bathtub, just felt bad, and disappeared into the kitchen for a small run when she returned to the living room to get a warm drink.

And being alone, I take the diary I left on the table again.

As a single person, not my own mother, I wish Emilia lived with Lucas.

But I do exist now, and my mother is already dead.

So reading ahead is a little scary.

At the same time, I feel much closer to my mother than before.

For the first time in my life, I want to know more about my mother.