"Is this... not helpful..."
A library in the castle. I closed the thick specialty book. Removing my glasses and holding my temples down gently with my fingers, I exhaled in a small way to relieve my tiredness.
◇ ◇ ◇
- Victor Beltran.
The eldest son of the Duke of Beltran family. This is where I stand.
Having received a rigorous education from an early age, I grew up with no freedom whatsoever and grew up.
Me, who has built myself up without losing the title of next Duke. That was me, but actually, I had a problem I didn't want to tell anyone.
That's the family.
I have a family.
Father and mother. And my brother and sister. A family of five, including my oldest son, me.
All of us brothers and sisters, born of our good looking parents, looked amazingly neat.
Beauty born to a high title. Wasn't that good?
My family didn't think of anything when I was young. But as they grew, they became more and more strange.
First, my brother Hugo.
At an early age, my brother, who followed me with "Brother" and "Brother", had become an extreme "Beautiful Thing Lover" if he realized it.
Love something beautiful so much and let them samurai what they acknowledge as beautiful.
Use it to bathe in the Duke's house gold, buy your favorite tea utensils, and buy paintings. I got dizzy when I heard I bought an expensive piano from a foreign country without even reporting it to my parents.
Such a brother, not interested in the outside world, always laughs happily in the boxyard he has created himself.
Surrounded by the good looking ones who lift themselves up, they hold tea parties every day, cage themselves in mansions without even fulfilling their noble duties, and live an abominable life.
I also cautioned my brother many times, but his life never went unheard of and he kept wanting to turn away.
I already thought you were up to it.
Next up is my sister.
My sister, like my brother, liked beautiful things. To that extent, it's better than my brother's, and maybe I could have meditated my eyes if that was all.
But my sister was worse than my brother in another way.
I guess it's partly because my parents grew up spoiling me that I'm a cute only daughter.
My sister is terribly arrogant and arrogant. I grew up to be the lowest person I could care less about if I wasn't the best.
Have them samurai around you and have a tea party claiming to be the best.
My brother was probably too, but after I saw my sister, I just thought it was something cute.
My brother is basically complete inside himself, but the opposite is true for my sister. You're the type of person who claims to be outside.
A tall laugh that makes you doubt your sanity. An expensive gem in a flashy dress that makes you want to doubt your eyes even though you haven't grown up yet.
My brother and his sister, who spends more money on the house than on hot water, didn't seem to think it was bad at all.
"Because I'm beautiful. I don't want to do this."
I doubted my ears when I overheard him say that to the ladies around me.
What the hell will happen to my sister if I make my social debut like this?
Now, just let the surroundings samurai, but won't they start attacking the other ladies one of these days? Wouldn't you use the surroundings and imitate them to eliminate them because you just don't like them?
Looking at my sister, I don't know if I will, but I don't think so.
My parents adored my special sister-in-law when she said she was such a sister.
The beginning and end of spoiling that you don't mind spending more money instead of being angry about wasting it. My brother is the same about that, understandably my parents love my children, but to be honest, I doubted my common sense while my parents.
Isn't this the place to brag the two of you who behave like children of the Duke's house?
Or are you going to let him swim and even have a tough setup later?
No, only my parents don't have that. Matchmaking, but two good friends are terribly sweet on their own children, including me.
I'm not a bad parent, and I don't have anything particularly bad to work with, but I'm even sweet on my own kids.
Even if I knew that was a bad thing, I'd do it with "if you wanted to," and if something happened, I'd do everything in my power to shelter the kid.
- Even if my own child was totally bad.
My parents throw up backwards.
Because of that kind of family, I gradually began to distance myself from them. To a parent who is just sweet, the brother of a drawer cage. Sweet arrogant sister. I no longer wanted to think of them as a family.
When I grew up, I started serving in the castle, but I didn't want to see my family's face so I could stay in the castle as long as I could. My colleague told me not to wave that topic again when I was asked to talk about my family.
In the meantime, rumors began to spread that it was taboo to wave a family story to me that I abhorred my family.
Nothing, I don't care because it's the truth, not lies. Without any particular correction, I, as always, distanced myself from my family and encouraged them to work.
In a few more years, I will also marry and succeed to the title. Then I'll ask my parents to retire and go into possession, and my stupid brother and sister will kick me out of the mansion. I was telling myself it was patience until then.
Hopefully the day will come soon. Let's do our best for the day.
To do this, I had to get married first, but here I went to a serious problem.
- You can't have a woman.
There is no obstacle to normal life. I can also escort women at night clubs. But when I imagined dating a woman, getting married, it made me nauseous for some reason.
I was surprised by this myself.
Originally, there was a family thing, and I hated people a lot. I was aware of that, so I had never made that close a friend before, and I never dated a woman.
That's why I didn't notice.
That I'm not comfortable with women.
I feel nauseous just imagining it. What happens if we really get to hang out or get married? That was more obvious than seeing fire.
- Not good.
There's no way we can get married or anything like this.
When I realized the problem, I refused to give my father a reason for bringing the pageant.
I didn't say I didn't like women. Speaking of which, if you do poorly, you lose your rights to your son.
As long as he succeeds to the title, he will always be required to leave offspring behind. If you know you can't do that, you might consider ceding the title to your second son. If that happens, my plan is ruined.
- Somehow, I need to get used to women.
This is a dead end. In the next few years, it will be possible to continue to relax and avoid marriage. But I can't have you waiting any longer.
I need to be able to be a woman enough to manage to live my marriage by then.
Consolidating my resolve, I then made every effort I could.
I did whatever I could.
- But none of it worked.
Whatever you try, just think of it as "dating a woman," "sexually touching a woman," and you get goosebumps and nausea. This is the same thing that has failed me before I tried.
"What am I supposed to do..."
I was stuck. As it is, that stupid brother really deprives me of my rights as a man.
Every day was harsh. I kept calm in the castle, but I can't stand it if I go back to the mansion.
Seeing my brother was caustic, and I probably didn't even want to get into the edge of my sight, such as my sister, which was the reason I hated my woman.
In those hellish days, suddenly, my sister started acting strange.