I'm still alive

I'm still alive.

Since her death yesterday, the city seems to be in silence. Sometimes I stared blankly at the wall, and I couldn't breathe when I looked out the window just in case. Wandering through the blocked traffic, they embroider the streets near my goshiwon.

They keep looking for what they're looking for, and sometimes when they hear something, they start running like crazy. Then, if there is nothing or if the predation is finished, he comes back to his place and makes strange noises.

Their behavior patterns were as simple as that. However, I had to feel more fear for my actions that were not simple creatures, let alone simple creatures. During the day, they are constantly observed, and at night, they are terrified.

The water has been cut off since this morning. The toilet attached to a single room is no longer useful. In fact, when the cell phone went dead and the electricity was cut off, the idea that the water would soon be cut off was vague. And I was fully aware that without water, I would soon die.

I may have just wanted to dry up like this. Now I thought it wouldn't matter what happens. But I didn't want to bite them painfully. That's why I want to die, but I keep observing outside.

Then I found myself licking the sink with my tongue, wondering if there was any moisture left if I was too thirsty. You said you wanted to die, you said you wanted to die dry. But my body was struggling to live so differently than I thought.

Hikikomori in the corner of the room, and a coward.

That's right. I want to end this nightmare, but I'm such a coward who doesn't have the courage to open his eyes. Either open the door or take your own life. But I didn't have the courage to do that, so I was doing what I was best at before and now.

On the sidelines! A spirit that rotts endlessly! Instead of a TV that doesn't come out because of the power cut off, they mistake the screen outside the window as a TV screen. And I'm the most stupid person in the world who watches the same show every day.

There was nothing special today. There was not even a small change in the distance as if playing the same screen. We looked up at the sky in the hope that rescue teams might come, but the sky was only showing the cloudy weather mocking us as we were dying.

I have no strength. I should go to bed quickly to keep my diary this far and live a terrible life.

* * *

I woke up from my sleep because of the sound from outside. It's strange. It's been quite a long time since the sun went down. When the darkness falls, the city faces the quietest time. But the noise that woke the city up made me get up from my seat on my own.

There's a loud noise coming from outside. And surely there are screams and shouting from humans. It's alive! Someone was clearly alive and screaming.

I.

[Writing marks remain]

* * *

The sound I heard was the right sound of man. As soon as I heard the scream, I stepped on the bed and looked out the window. And after a while, I could find the main culprit of the sound. But their first sight was obscured by darkness.

However, I could only guess from the outline that they were human. I gazed through the darkness and gazed frantically through the misty forest. And as my eyes got used to the darkness, I could follow them with my eyes as the three I found were running in a hurry to escape them.

Cars jammed up in the dark road obstructed their course, blocking their view. Then a figure who was in the lead hurriedly pulled something out and held it forward. And at the same time, the surroundings were brightened, and thanks to the light of the flashlight, they could clearly see themselves running away.

No, I could clearly see the coming death.

One man and one woman each. And the other was a child with a small build. I naturally held my breath thinking they were family. Run away, run faster. I murmured quietly and pressed my face against the window.

The child was running with the hand of an adult woman who seemed to be a mother, followed by them with a fierce momentum. They were holding a big bag at first, but realized that it prevented them from running, so they left it by the side of the road and started running.

The bag that fell badly by the roadside is trampled on by the pursuers and turned into a mop. Looking at the heavy bag, he seemed determined to escape after the incident. But they must have realized that the choice was soon a fatal mistake in the face of a death crisis.

The distance gradually narrowed because of the slow child. The child and the mother kept screaming, and the man also uttered a cry of despair expecting death before the road to survival. It's obvious it's stupid. The noise was gathering more and more.

Eventually, they were halfway down the road and surrounded by guys running from the other side. Looking at it from afar, I could intuit that death was the intended sequence. And at that moment the man holding the flashlight eventually lost his reason, abandoned his family and ran out to the side of the road.

The man, however, was caught by the men who jumped out of the cars in a few steps. And the head skin was torn off and at the same time the neck was broken. Men can't even scream at their terminals, and their bodies are torn.

A man quickly turned to six. And the woman, who appears to be the mother of the child, sat down on the spot to see if her legs were weak when she saw the man die, and was soon eaten by the crowd. She couldn't make a single weak revolt.

I had to turn my head there.

Cruel death? It's a landscape I've been seeing for four days. Now it was such a familiar sight that I could keep watching without turning my head. But the last sight I saw today made me regret this moment of watching the situation so far.

The flashlight that the man was holding fell to the side and reflected all of their families, showing the details of their deaths.

And I saw it. The child who was running behind missed his mother's hand and fell down at such a rapid pace. The fallen child couldn't get up as soon as his father was caught by them, and after shaking on the spot for a long time, he quickly went under the car.

It seemed like an instinctive act, but it was so timely. The men, who were chasing their families frantically, paid attention to the dinners elsewhere, whether or not the child went under the car. The child was shivering under the car, watching the death of his mother and father, or predation.

They're wiping out a body in a flash. Like a piranha, it disassembles the flesh in an instant, and even the bones chew on the lollipop like chewing a lollipop. By the time the meat turned into porridge, the child realized that this was a terrible reality.

After the dinner, they didn't find the child. The simplicity of them, who cannot even count the number, saved the child under the car. They wandered there for a long time and then slowly got out of their seats, and soon they started looking for a new game.

Nevertheless, the child was crouching under the car without even thinking of running away.

Mom and Dad were eaten in front of my eyes. And in exchange for their deaths, he was able to live his life.

The child crouched like a bug, unable to say a word for fear of being caught. I can see myself holding back my tears in despair. That kid's gonna die, right? He'll be stuck there like me, and he'll die so thin without the courage to go out and take his own life, right?

Oh, deep breaths came out of my mouth. I felt like I found another bird dying just outside my cage.

But what if I save it?

What? What did I write?

What am I doing? Are you worried about your child? I'm stuck in a single room and counting when I'm going to die? I was just watching a dying man in front of my eyes? Coward, you're an eternal coward. Don't ever think like that.

I tried hard to deny myself, but I began to remember clearly where the child was and what kind of car he was under. The scene stuck in my head like a imprint. Yes, I was thinking as if I were saving the child.

Coward, stupid. You're imagining it again, right?

* * *

[Under the diary, a picture of the road situation is drawn, and the child's location is marked with an asterisk.]

The child is under the car. And still alive.