I'm still alive

The moment I took the child's hand and looked back, it was a wave of light in the distance. The waves of light pouring out of the goshiwon building. As they step on each other and push each other, they pour out like a tsunami. The gruesome screams and wild animal-like shining eyes they exhale. They were angry, and the shining eyes were clearly directed here.

Did they even notice that I lied to them? Their blind hostility and gaze all head here. Face fear. Fear strikes the body. The legs become weak, the mind becomes distant, making the vision. The instinct of the herbivore facing the predator. And it was the moment. The child's tremor was conveyed by the fingertips.

I turned my head and looked at the child. The child stared blankly at the waves with a expressionless face. Only then did I come to my senses. A plan that was passing like a lantern whipped my head and made me move. You can't get caught here!

The first greeting reminds me of the time when I was thinking about what to do at the Gosiwon. Unbelievably, the first thing I said to the child was 'Hurry up!' I wanted to ask the name and age of the child. But there was a grotesque noise coming from behind telling us that there was no time for that now.

He pulled his hand from under the car and pulled the child out of the car. And I quickly held him in my arms. The smell of disgusting excrement and the body temperature of the cold child was felt. I didn't hesitate. I tried not to repeat the same mistake again. I hugged the child and moved quickly. Muscles scream and bones that have not been used before complain of pain.

Through the dense traffic, the cold wind greeted him in the face and exhaled ceaselessly. The breath came up to the tip of my chin, and the breath from my mouth made my eyes dizzy. It was so hard, and in such physical pain the will was cooling so easily. But every time a child breathes out, the small heart sounds in his chest add oil to the soul's essence, which is worn out. Even when I wanted to give up, the child moved me without saying anything.

The view changes rapidly. My head is numb with the cold wind. Before I knew it, I was driving off the road and on a small sidewalk. This dark, still city is now full of my footsteps and their running sounds. Their screams tell me they've arrived close to me. The plan of where to head was forgotten. I was just running on the road to survival.

Many thoughts crossed my mind. The fear that this life is coming to an end, and the little despondency. And the thought of this child coming to an end like me passed through my head. I bit my lips tight. Even though I was running endlessly, I was facing a dead man's lamp. My heart was pounding and my head was cold.

I saw a sign in front of me. And ran towards the entrance without hesitation. I only ran after reading the front letter of the sign "Geun," but the sudden slope and trees embarrassed me and hurried around. A stairway made of wood and a dirt road on both sides. And many trees, like a forest. The guide map that I checked while running around helped me realize that this is a neighborhood park. As soon as I checked where this place was, I kept running without further hesitation.

I stepped on the stairs. And then it went up and up. The forest in the park without a single street lamp was in pitch darkness. The shaking trees became quiet as if they had noticed the intruder, and the flashlight they were holding was frantically bright. The urgent scene was passing like a broken frame.

steps glimpsed by the darkness There was darkness on both sides, and only the front of the flashlight was guiding my way. There is a fear that seems to strike them in the dark. The walk is only precarious, as if running on a rope.

Leg muscles pull and breathe up to the tip of your chin. I slowed down slowly and looked back just in case. Then you can see a group of lights climbing the mountain in the distance. Their eyes were still on this place.

I held back my terminal scream, clasped my teeth and ran again. I couldn't give up because I came all the way here. Now this child was shivering with his face in my arms. The slight tremor once again gripped me. I can never give up first.

However, the flashlight, which had been lighting up in the front, was constantly extinguished and turned on. The cheap flashlight purchased from Daiso was ending its life. The important thing is whether the battery is dead or broken when it runs out, and the bright light is going to disappear in this urgent situation. When the worst and worst began to overlap, I blamed myself and bit my lips.

Keep climbing stairs that seem to never end. Repeat turning the light off and on. I repeat that the stairs in front of my eyes disappear and then appear. Walk in the dark. I was now running the line between life and death. When will it end? When the trigger of Gajira rose on my head, I realized that my breath had risen to the limit. I don't think I can run anymore.

The pace slows down slowly. My lips, whispering to the child that it was okay, become quiet as if they were glued together. The foot has stopped. The flashlight now turns off and on at a rapid pace, as if it had one foot left at the end of its life. When this light goes out, darkness will encroach on me, and its boring life will end. I gave up, breathing out in a hurry. And lastly, I looked down at the child.

The child was looking at me as if he were reading my mind. The child's clear and pure eyes reflected me like a mirror. The child was looking at me through that little window. He reached out and stroked the child's head, handing over his bangs.

I regret that I couldn't even ask for my name. However, his mouth did not drop because he was almost out of breath. As my breath slowly subsided, I tried to open my mouth and say I'm sorry.

그러자 아이는 내가 입을 열기도 전에 손을 천천히 들어 한 방향을 가리키고 있었다.

흐릿한 전등불에 비치는 그곳은 조그마한 시멘트 건물이었다. 너무나 가까운 곳에 있었는데, 공포 때문에 짧아진 시야는 그것은 이제야 발견하게 해 주었다. 내 마음속 깊이 혹시나? 하는 희망이 치고 올라왔다. 나는 망설임 없이 뒤로 돌아 손전등을 저 멀리 던졌다. 혹시나 이 빛을 따라 우리를 쫓고 있다면 제발 저것을 향해 가라. 난 빌고 빌었다.

그리고 다시 아이를 부여잡고 격한 숨을 내뱉으며, 그 건물을 향해 필사적으로 뛰었다. 아이는 아직 포기하고 있지 않았다. 금방이라도 부서질 듯 흔들리는 마음을 다잡으며, 나에게 활로를 가리키고 있었다. 계단을 날듯이 뛰어오른다. 그리고 어둠에 익숙해지지 않은 눈을 힘겹게 떠, 흐릿한 잔상이 남아 있는 건물을 향해 뛴다.

넘어질 듯 아슬아슬한 걸음, 그리고 손을 뻗자 시멘트 건물에 감촉이 손끝에 느껴졌다. I'm in a hurry to find the door. He looked for the door for a moment, touching the half-wheel of the building with his hands, and without hesitation, he opened the door and went in.

Inside the pale moonlight building was a public toilet. As soon as I entered, I put the child down, and hurriedly closed the bathroom door and locked it. The locks on this thin glass wall would do them no good, but the act of locking the doors was just instinct and self-comfort.

Then he hugged the child again and went into the bathroom partition. He put the child on the stool and locked the stool door again. And I also climbed onto the toilet and hugged the child. And we held our breath as if dead. My body trembled, and the child's body trembled.

I hear their groaning in the distance. Then came the sound of something breaking vividly. They're headed in the direction I intended, and I think they found a flashlight. The sound of them screaming in anger penetrates the eardrum. I closed my eyes tightly, covering the child's ears. The scream was as if he were angry at me for where I was.

And the sound of the leaf-throwing underfoot was passing around the building. And you can hear the sound of something hitting the wall of the building. I raised my hand to close my mouth, which bursts out of breath. And the child's mouth was closed, too.

A minute was like an hour. I was about to smash that thin door and bite my neck and my child's neck. They screamed again. Anger and annoyance that you've missed me. I could feel my tears from my fingertips. And at the same time I heard the bathroom door breaking.

I took a breath and sat down with the child. The child was shaking in tears, and I was no different. The bathroom glass door broke and one of them came into the bathroom. I can still hear the growling sound filled with anger. And he trudged down on the bathroom floor and found us. The sound of the feet naturally leads the view below the toilet partition.

A silent scream broke out. Under the partition stood an ugly crushed foot. I stopped breathing at all, and the child stopped breathing, too. Every moment felt so slow. It's been a long time. He couldn't judge whether he would open the partition or not, but he was standing there for a long time and ran out again, screaming as if his vocal cords were torn apart.

I couldn't breathe out even though he was out. It was not until such a long time later that I breathed heavily, and the child breathed out as if he were out of breath. I thought it was a natural fortune. Their simple thoughts and actions saved me and the child's life.

I stared blankly at the bathroom wall for a while and suddenly came to my senses. The plan to save the child is a success. It took me several times to realize the painful reality of life and death. I was the first to take the bottled water out of Kitty's bag and feed her, and I emptied half a barrel in an instant.

Wait for the sun to rise. The child fell asleep before he knew it. I stay up all night with my eyes wide open. As time passed and dawned far away, light came in through the toilet window into this partition. It was like a ray of relief that I was alive. I rely on the light to finish my diary. I'm still alive. And saved the child.