I'm still alive

Many bodies told me. 'Did you have to?' I couldn't answer. I was led into hell by them. Everything was aflame, and the mind was slowly sucked into that remote place. I drifted endlessly in the sea of burning fire, using firewood.

Among countless corpses, I also burn with such a rotten smell. From the fingertips to the tip of your head, you can feel the pain that ants gnaw. I was becoming ashes. Many bodies and many eyes were looking at me. They open their mouths and ask me again. 'Did you have to?’

I'm all burned to ashes now. Form disappears, scattered into the air. I didn't exist even though I opened my eyes. barely holding on to the distant spirit and floating helplessly on the burning fire.

And when I reached the unknown path, I saw a woman on the far-flung officetel. Standing on the railing as close as she could fall, she looks at me. Then her mouth opened, and something sweetens her lips to tell me.

‘…….’

'What?'

‘…….’

I'm sucked back into the floor. The woman reaches out to hold me, but I slowly get away from her. I see her shouting hard. But I still couldn't hear her talking. I'm sucked into the floor. She grew farther and farther away and became a dot, and was now invisible.

The floor was empty and lonely. Chae-yeon's face, which she wanted to see the most, was in front of her eyes. Did you eat or sleep well? My eyes were blurry, and something came up from inside. Was it sorrow or anger? Or was it the last lingering regret that was about to break? I spat it out of my mouth.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, it was dark everywhere. I coughed to death as soon as I opened my eyes. His mouth was so dry that he could only cough, and he couldn't afford to cough, so he was as rough as he could breathe at once. I got up in a fit of convulsions and looked around. It was an invisible darkness all around. As I looked around the floor, I caught fallen leaves and dirt in my hand.

At the same time there was a severe pain in the right ear. I gave a little moan and wrapped my right ear around my hand. But there was no complete ear to be there. The ragged ears, half gone away, were burning hot.

Feeling the extreme pain felt in the wound, I checked my hands and found that blood was sticky. The last scene I saw was the firing of a gun. I thought he was dead, but the gun must not have penetrated my head. The soldier's clumsy shooting took half the ear instead of my life.

I covered the blood and wound with my sleeve. And raised himself up. The guns didn't show if they had taken them. And maybe because of the bleeding, my head is dizzy, and my eyes are cloudy. He grabbed the dingy head with one hand and ended up sitting there.

I eventually crawled on the ground and moved forward. And as he was struggling forward, the dirt road felt in his hands turned into a paved stone floor. And when I raised my hand, the water came out moist. I crawled along the stone with a familiar feeling.

And when I reached out my hand, the iron object was caught. And I stammered it and pondered what this was. After a while, I figured out what this was. Water pump, that's right. This place where I crawled was a triad.

It is not far from the shelter. I mumbled my dry mouth with a clattering sound, and put my hand on the water pump in a severe thirst. I tried to pump, but I couldn't put any strength into my body. I gave up and sat down in front of the pump. Then I felt a moist touch on my hands, and when I looked there, water was pooled under the pump. I put my face in there and sucked the rest of the water hard into my mouth.

The water smelled of thick soil and the bitter blood flowing from my face. I was putting my face in the water, sucking water to live. Tears came out, and it wasn't until then that the pain mixed with sorrow exploded. I hit my hand on the floor. A cough came out, and tears came out.

I killed him to live. And I killed Chae-yeon to save her life. I thought I was right, but I still! I didn't say I was right, I didn't say I did well. Because it wasn't right! I knew I was wrong, but I had to. Me too, I wanted to run away.

Rage, sadness, sorrow, and longing for Chae-yeon were tangled in one place and mixed with complex emotions. I screamed inwardly, punching down the floor of the stone with my fist, and hitting my face against the floor. What was I supposed to do? I mumbled like that and cried for a long time with my face on the floor.

After crying like that, I got tired and sat leaning against the pump. As I looked up at the sky, I could see some invisible stars. When all the cars stopped and people disappeared, the star appeared as if he had been hiding.

The stars were watching me, floating in that faraway sky. I squirted my lips, making eye contact with the stars. Where did Chae Yeon go? If there's a rescue team, it means there's a safe place. So far, rescue efforts aren't as fragile as other shelters.

And Kang Soo-ryeon followed the rescue team. The affectionate woman will take good care of Chae-yeon. Yeah, we're out of a situation where we might die tomorrow. Now, now....... It's all good. It's all over.

I felt reassured and in a terrible sense of futility. And a terrible emptiness floats around me. Chae-yeon's face, which was looking at me in tears, bothers me in my head. Holding my trembling hands, I got up slowly.

Life has always been painful. Even now, life has shackled me. Now I can't find a reason to live, but I got up to live. I frowned at the terrible instinct because I felt pathetic about myself. And to the pain felt in my ears, I choked up my blood-flowing ears.

stagger up in front of the shelter Then he put his hand on the doorknob and opened it. It was dark and cold inside the shelter. I went into the shelter and carefully closed the door. And I looked everywhere, but the inside of the shelter was desolate, as if I had taken all the bags and food.

I was so cold that I tried to look for hot packs, but I took them all with me. I remembered the bag I had left in the middle of the hiking trail. But under this condition, I wasn't confident of going there.

I looked around what remained inside the shelter and found camping tools stuck in the corner over there. These seem to have not been found or taken. I rummaged through the place with my hands trembling with cold. Then I found a burner that I used once in the public bathroom.

I got up with the burner and headed for the bathroom. The light should not go out of the window, so a toilet with a small window was suitable. I made sure I took all the blankets and didn't have any blankets to cover, and I smiled pitifully and hugged the burner tightly. Then I opened the bathroom door.

I walked to one corner and sat leaning against the wall. When I turned on the burner, a weak fire leaked out as if there was not much gas left. The fire was small, but slowly lit the inside of the bathroom. There was a slight warmth when I touched it.

I warmed myself with the fire, and stared blankly at the light. I wish I had been shot to death. It would be nice to starve, get sick and die here. Lastly, I wanted to see Chae Yeon's face one more time. When I felt my cold body slowly melting, I closed my eyes half-closed and crouched.

And slowly watched the fire burn. Originally, I would have to turn off the light to save gas, but I didn't turn it off because I didn't want tomorrow. I wanted to fall asleep watching the fire tonight.

My eyes close slowly. I wish all this was over. I could see the fire slowly weakening before my eyes. At that moment, something caught my eye. At first, I thought it was just a bunch of tissue. But when I opened my eyes and looked at it, something white came into view in that corner.

I suspected for a moment that I had seen nothing, but soon realized that what was seen in the light was a piece of paper, and completely opened my thin-eyed eyes. And I crawled there in a hurry. When I reached out in the dark and caught the object, the paper was also right.

The finely folded paper was free of dust. Guessing it was a paper placed recently, I crawled back to the fire with trembling hands. And when I opened the paper in front of the light, I saw the hastily scribbled letters. I read the article with trembling hands.

* * *

I'm sorry I didn't tell you your name. So I'll just call you you. A day has passed since you left. We were all worried because you didn't come. I fell asleep waiting for you all night, and they came to see us just before sunrise.

When they first knocked on the door of the shelter, we were happy to think it was you, but we were terrified by the unfamiliar voice coming soon. We couldn't say anything, and they knocked on the door again and said, They're rescuers. They're here to rescue us. We were all happy. I wanted you to come quickly.

I hurried and looked out the window, and I saw soldiers and doctors in white gowns. So I opened the door without any doubt, and I greeted them. We all shed tears of relief with joy.

But I felt strange. How did they know we were here? Even though we didn't send a rescue signal, they came here exactly. And he knocked for granted as if he knew we were here.

And they looked around the shelter and said, There's one more in the party, right? And I guess that's where they're not rescuers. And I got scared and shut my mouth. But Jinsu said in a bright voice that he was glad that they were rescuers.

Then Lee Hye-in told them right away. You killed a soldier. The soldiers asked where you were and said Lee Hye-in was coming soon.

I wanted to scream. To be honest, I endured dozens of times wanting to hit Lee Hye-in in the face. I could see Chae-yeon getting very nervous as the atmosphere got worse. I was supposed to tell you to run away, but I didn't have the means to tell you.

Eventually, I said I wouldn't follow them, and Chae-yeon agreed. But they're not allowed. I forced him to go no matter what. And I told him he had to wait for you to come. They looked at me strangely......... and the way the soldiers looked at me was so scary......I said yes.

And he said he had a stomachache and came into the bathroom. I write this letter in a hurry and leave it to you. I really hope you find this letter. They're not rescue teams. The doctors didn't see a single wound properly. It felt like a normal person wearing a doctor's gown.

Also, the soldiers' behavior was awkward one by one, and even their eyes were strange. They asked me to leave Chae-yeon alone. I yelled at the soldier in anger, "Are you crazy?" Then they looked at each other and nodded as if they had no choice.

I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

* * *

This was the end of the writing. The letter was left by Kang Soo-ryeon.

I folded the paper slowly. And at the same time the lights went out. The bathroom was dyed dark, and I clenched my fist in it.