I'm still alive

"Honey..."

The woman knew how to cry quietly. Just as someone scolds her when she cries out, the woman closes her mouth with her hands and starts sobbing. She was sitting on a pile of bones. And without any qualms, he hits his face there and sheds tears.

We have scattered the bodies of the vagrants on the streets. When the sun sets, they'll be eaten up and turned into piles of bones. The harvest of revenge was sweet and its sweetness soon leaves a bitter aftertaste. I walked past the crying woman and took all the clothes they had taken off.

And without saying anything, he began to dress the children one by one. What should I tell them? Don't give me any stupid consolation. Throw your hypocritical sympathy away. Then the only thing left was these clothes and I couldn't do anything else.

'Hey, mother...….’

Yong-pal picks up his clothes and slowly approaches the woman. The woman, who had not moved for a while lying on her stomach, flinch and raise her head as the dragon approached. Then he stood up and accepted the clothes given by Yong-pal. The woman's tears run down her dirty cheeks constantly.

But the woman who received the clothes showed no sign of wearing them. And if you don't even feel shy, you walk to me, and the children next to me naturally gather around your mother and quietly sniff tears. The woman looks up at me and mutters in a hoarse voice.

'......that's when you were the one, right?’

The woman remembered me. I nodded slowly, making eye contact with her, lost in spirit. Then she dropped a tear and bowed her head at me.

Thank you for saving my life. Me too... ...and the kids...….’

The woman thanked me and began to wear clothes one by one. And I personally returned my parka and my party's parka, which the children were wearing, and thanked them.

It's a strong woman. She was escaping from the swamp of grief and despair and facing reality. I wanted to wait for women and children to find stability, but this reality did not allow for such a moment.

I emptied a whole bag and had it collect all the neglected bones. The bones are still attached to the flesh, but we cherish them with reverence. And Doosik volunteered to lift her body. Originally, Doosik had no facial expression, but he looked sad for some reason today.

I checked my watch and now it's 2 p.m. After five o'clock, the sun began to set, so I had to start returning from now on. I picked up the map, marked the straight path, and then turned. If we go this way, we'll get there faster.

We hastened our steps to live that way with our respective griefs.

* * * * * * *

'Team Chae Yeon is back.’

When I began to see the front door, I took out a radio and informed Eden of my return. Then those far-sighted sentries began to move busily and soon checked our appearance with binoculars. I walked towards the front door, supporting the women and children who were walking dangerously.

The radio starts ringing as we arrive at the front gate. It was the voice of a man who heard it for the first time.

[The number of people is different for the first time. What happened?]

'Survived survivor. Please call a doctor quickly.’

[Are you sure of your identity?]]

I was instantly irritated and popped out. Then he grabbed the child about to fall and shouted in a louder voice than before.

'You're the survivor among the vagrants. Please open the door.’

[Asking if you're sure of his identity.]

Forceful. I could see this was a blatant quarrel. Shinwon? Are you kidding me? Does a man in Eden have a credit rating on his face? I stared at the man looking at us from the tower. His face, wearing sunglasses, began to feel a desire to crush the bolt.

I clenched my teeth on the radio.

"Shall we go get a copy from the office?’

Perhaps because of my changed attitude and speaking informally, the man's face began to twist. We stared at each other for a long time and didn't turn away. At that moment, however, a harsh noise came from the radio, and a familiar woman's voice came.

[Crazy bastards, open the door!]

It was Kim Hye-jung. She showed herself a demonstration of how much she could swear on a radio. But the main purpose was for a man up there, and when he heard it, it was all right, so the man couldn't even open his mouth.

The man's face is reddening. However, as soon as the radio is off, it quickly goes down the tower. Then one of the guards turned his arm vigorously, and soon the front door began to open with a heavy.

On the walkie-talkie, Kim Hye-jung's voice rings loudly.

[Open!]

As soon as the front door opens, three guards inside pour out. They were all armed and busied around us like escorting us. And they kept looking at the back and guarding the perimeter until we went inside.

I lifted the children up and the dragon-arm helped the woman. Then he ran quickly toward the open front door. When we arrived, it was past five o'clock when dusk was hanging in the sky. There were already a lot of people unpacking near the main gate, perhaps the last time we arrived.

But among those many, there were only people running here who were doctors and nurses in white gowns. And the doctor looking at me from the front. It's definitely the man who treated me. What was his name? Kim Chul? Ho Chul?

Do you have any emergency patients?’

I quickly pointed to the woman whose dragon arm was helping. The children were not hurt, but their mother was bruised all over. Blow injuries are basic and there might be organ damage. And there were symptoms of malnutrition in common.

The nurse quickly unfolds the stretcher. I put the children and the woman on a stretcher with a little praise for their accurate and quick response. Then Kim Cheol lifted the stretcher and gave me a nod, and I bowed my head without saying anything.

And they picked up a stretcher and quickly disappeared from their seats. Quick response and quick action. It's not a skill that I've done once or twice. It must have treated many survivors in this way. I felt a little bit of disappointment in Eden that I had felt for a while.

Hey!

A sharp voice calls me. As I watched them slowly move away, I looked back in surprise and there, Kim Hye-jung frowned and looked at us. A sigh came out of itself. That woman always seems to be full of annoyance, so it's annoying to deal with.

Did you get hurt anywhere?’

Huh? I knew she'd get into trouble or annoyance as soon as she saw us. But the words from her mouth were neither irritating nor disputing, but worrying. I nod my head in a daze and point my thumb at the old man and the Yongpal brothers. As you can see, he's very healthy.

'What about them?

'Saved from among the vagrants.’

Then Kim Hye-jung relaxed her frown and looked at us with a little surprise. Then, he muttered quietly, and soon turned his eyes to the place where the rescued family was headed. Are you done with your business? The sunset is beginning to show through the buildings in the distance.

Looking at the sunset, I was overwhelmed with fatigue. The day has finally come to an end at the end of the day. I wanted to go back to the accommodation quickly and meet Chae-yeon.

Can I go now?’

Then, Kim Hye-jung, who was mesmerizing, looks at us in surprise. Then he shook his head, put his hand on the forehead, and beckoned at us.

'You'll have to settle your accounts.’

Settlement? Well, I just wrote something down when I left. It was a little annoying, but I nodded silently because I knew how important records were in this systematic system. Kim Hye-jung said, "There is no need for everyone to go." So I sent the Yongpal brothers back to their accommodation first.

* * * * * *

Where she headed was a tent not so far from the main gate. It wasn't just a camping tent, it was a big tent built like a barracks, but inside the tent was someone else working hard. Radio waves and large maps have helped us predict what kind of place this place is.

Kim Hye-jung pulled the document she was holding in the morning out of the documents. And he lingered there for a long time looking for something to give us. The old man yawned and sat in a suitable seat and I looked carefully inside the tent.

The large map in the middle contained a variety of information. I started peeping at them and contrasting them with my map. It wasn't as detailed as my map, but it wasn't useless.

What are you peeping at? Let's just watch it openly.'

'Can I do that's okay.’

Why? Aren't you guys the search team?’

Then be nice to me. It was ridiculous, but he didn't say anything behind his back. Because I wanted to see the map once more since I got permission. I reached out my hand and stroked the big map carefully and focused on making the search team pay off the fruits it had made.

Has it been about ten minutes? Several sheets of blank paper and a pen were thrown in front of the map I was staring at. I took it quietly and looked at Kim Hye-jung.

You know the report, right? I have to write everything about what happened today.’

You mean now?’

She shook her head.

You can give it to me tomorrow.’

Then she busily walked to one side of the tent and brought a bunch of familiar pieces of paper from the box next to the radio. It was a meal ticket I saw at the distribution center, but at a glance it looked like more than 30 copies. And without hesitation she handed me all those meal tickets.

I'm done with the settlement, so you should go now.’

Is this what settlement means? I stared blankly at the meal ticket on my hand. These little bits of paper were the price for saving three people. Not a disappointment. Just, just....... It was just empty. The bones of a man with flesh in front of his eyes were ringing.

A hand came up over my shoulder as I was becoming more and more immersed in the notion of vanity. Surprised by the heavy touch, I looked at the place and saw an old man looking at me, who did not know when he had come near me. The old man murmured silently, with a bitter look on his face as if he knew all my thoughts.

'......I have to go.'

The old man advised me to reduce my thoughts whenever I had time. And even now he stopped me before I fell for it. I closed my eyes slowly, with a forced nod of my hardened head. Then I stuffed the meal ticket into my pocket.

* * * * * *

When I came back to the accommodation, all the party arrived. Women welcomed us with bright smiles, and the children gathered together to greet each other politely. And as soon as I took off my bag, Chae-yeon, who was far away, took the sketchbook and ran Dodo toward me.

And proudly open the sketchbook towards me, where there were a lot of colorful and pretty pictures. Seeing that all the children had sketchbooks, they were seen as paintings from the school they went to today. Chae-yeon was adjusting well, contrary to my worries.

'Daddy! Daddy! Barge, Barge!'

Chae-yeon had a smile on her face as to what was so pleasant. And he bragged at me his paintings, spouting his tongue short. And among them, he shouted, pointing to an exceptionally good painting.

'Daddy! It's Daddy!'

There was a man standing in the picture. He was smiling brightly with one hand up like Superman, and it looked like a hero saving everyone. Chae-yeon began to compare the man with me with clumsy words and gestures. And he smiles with a satisfied face.

Under the picture, it was written "daddy" in crooked letters.

I think he drew me.

I reached out and hugged Chae-yeon. Chae-yeon was surprised and soon smiled and rubbed her face in my arms. I had no choice but to stay like that for a long time.

[There was a picture mentioned on the day between the diary.