I'm still alive

When I knocked quietly on the door of the hospital room, I could hear an answer right away.

'Come in.'

Detective Kang seemed to have decided to stay in the hospital for a while because he was not as well as expected. I slowly opened the door of the hospital room with an armful of snacks I had bought for Detective Kang. Inside the single-bedroomed room, Detective Kang was sitting on the bed, and next to it was a man sitting with him.

Do you want me to come back next time?’

Do you think there was a passenger? I paused and made eye contact with Detective Kang, who was staring at me. But Detective Kang shook his head and gestured, and the man who was sitting jumped up and looked down at me.

You're Kwak Dong-yoon, right? I was going to visit you, but I'm lucky.’

The man, whom I saw for the first time, smiled gladly as he greeted me suddenly. And when I reached out my hand to shake hands with him, I put down the snacks and shook hands with him. The man was wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses, even a white gown that looked somewhat intelligent.

Are you a doctor? No, not a doctor. That dress was not worn by the Eden medical staff. I let go of my hand and glanced at Detective Kang behind it. His complexion seemed to have improved a lot. I once coughed and asked the man.

You said you had business with me.….’

Apparently he was trying to find me. I relaxed my guard and soon relaxed my posture from the man who seemed to have no sign of it. Then the man smiled and pointed to where he was sitting and made gestures to have some conversation.

As I hesitated near the chair, Detective Kang, who was behind me, looked at me and nodded. You want to talk? I decided to move in the direction he wanted once the purpose was Detective Kang. As soon as I sat down in the chair, I handed over the snacks I had brought to Detective Kang and asked him how he was doing.

How are you feeling?’

'I've cured everything. I can't believe there's still a facility like this....... I was very surprised.’

Looking at his face, even his small scars seemed to have been cured. Seeing the gauze on his face meticulously, I could guess whose work it was. Once I checked his condition, I turned my head toward the first passenger. and take a moment to pause asked soon.

What's your business?’

The man dragged his chair beside me and sat down and looked at us one by one. And he took a paper and a pen from one of his bags and brought up the main point without any particular scruples.

'It's because of the strain.’

Variant; mutant. It shows a different way of behaving than they do, and the force is also too powerful. And with a sense of transcendence and good intelligence, they were like a sudden danger. Variables? In fact, you should be prepared to die the moment you encounter them.

I called them mutants, and the report naturally used the name variant. Perhaps the report was delivered through the hands of the group leader to all departments throughout Eden. And this man, who checked the records, was here to ask questions about the strain.

'The details are in the report.’

What can I do if I ask you more? Already in the report, he recorded all the characteristics and patterns of behavior he had. Just as it's become a habit to remember everything and keep it in my diary, I don't write reports roughly. But the man in front shook his head to see if it was not enough.

'I heard you saw him firsthand and then shot him.’

Oh, right, I'm sure the bullet I shot pierced his head exactly. But he struggled without being killed instantly, and apparently was sending me an unquenchable murder. Maybe he's not dead. I hardened my expression, recalling the memory of the day, and soon nodded.

'I'd like to know more about the appearance.’

The man quickly revealed his purpose when I nodded. His face? It's all horrible and disgusting. It was like a ghost in a horror movie, or a monster crawling up from hell. I closed my eyes and fumbled for a moment of fear that passed like a photograph.

But the first thing I thought of before I answered was the identity of this man.

Who are you?’

There was displeasure and annoyance in my speech. He didn't like the attitude of asking questions without introducing himself, and perhaps the appearance of the strains in the corner of his mind remained a trauma. I gently frowned at the edge of my eyes, recalling the hell with my eyes that I didn't want to imagine.

Then the man opened his eyes wide and stammered. His perplexed face was only now aware of his mistake. Was the rude behavior intentional? I leaned my back against the chair and looked at him, and the embarrassed man quickly pulled something out of his arms.

What he gave me was a pass with his face in it. Looking at it, I could see that he was a researcher and belonged to a graduate school founded in Eden. And decisively I also guessed why he asked me this question.

Do you have any results?’

It was a question that went too far, but I was curious and thought it was important. The man who heard my question began to look dark, and soon muttered to me as if he were whispering.

Performance? The fact that this isn't a disease?...... Like this?’

There is no cure unless it is a disease. No, I don't know if the word therapy is the right choice. They came so suddenly that they pushed us away, like a headwind from the fog. I had no time to deal with it, no time to think about it.

Just as mankind, who first discovered fire, could not figure out the fundamental principles, we lost our way in the face of such sudden change. Only a month has passed. It was too early to expect results at a time when we have yet to even define them.

I took the pen out of my bosom, and asked the man for some paper. Then he hurriedly searched his bag and handed me the A4 paper, which could be used as a back paper. I began to paint quickly on the paper, ignoring his burdensome gaze.

One thing that the strains I've encountered have in common so far is that they are written in pictures in my diary. The same was added to Soyul Yeosang's face, and the same was added to his encounter in the eye hell. Detective Kang, who was watching me draw, quietly admired.

You're good at drawing, aren't you?’

I smiled at Detective Kang, who admired him. This picture? It wasn't funny for a joke. This half-drawn painting I had half done was like a lunatic. But I thought this was the only way to express them.

The gruesome painting was completed, and the man's expression upon receiving it hardened. I put a pen in my arms, erasing the short bits of memory that remain in my head. And asked looking at the man who was packing the picture in the bag.

Does this really help? Well, a body or......... Blood? What about this?’

We like you better, but...….’

Oh, looking at the look on the bitter-looking man's face, I could realize how stupid my question was. They're taking blood or bodies at a time when they have to risk their lives to run away. It was almost impossible. The man stood up with a bitter smile.

'For now, thank you. I don't think it's anything, but it really helps a lot. We're continuing to gather information and we're working on it, so it'll come out soon.’

The man left the room at the end of the word. The words were going smoothly, but there was no confidence in his speech. Perhaps he feels as vague as he continues to solve an unanswered question. But I couldn't say anything to his back, leaving the room.

The answer was far away, far away.

* * *

Detective Kang smiled gently while being canned by the Yellow Sea that I was picking him. I bought something similar to fruit and didn't bring a spoon to eat its contents. As he scratched his back of his head and smiled awkwardly, Kang laughed and put down the can.

And he murmured quietly at me.

'I can't believe it.’

I asked, looking at him who looked bitter.

Why? Are you still tired?’

Detective Kang shook his head with a smile. Then, he looks around the quiet hospital room and sweeps down the comfy blanket with his hands. His expression seemed dreamy as if he were dreaming, so I looked at him without saying anything and let him feel the lingering aftertaste.

Am I really the only one who survived?’

Detective Kang breathed out his breath and shook his head before his surviving life. This peaceful daily life seemed to have come in a heterogeneous way because it had been such a miserable month. Even though many people died, the world was flowing as if nothing had happened. He was feeling despondent in such a world.

What are you going to do in the future?’

I'm here to offer Detective Kang to join me. However, when I saw Detective Kang, who was as weak as ashes, I couldn't bring up the proposal to form a team with him hastily. I gently turned my head and looked at the sunlight flowing through the curtains. Then Detective Kang answered quietly.

'When I was isolated for a month......... I just wanted to live. I don't know why I wanted to live such a long life because I was divorced from my wife and had no children. Yeah, well, let's still survive. We're barely surviving....... Now there's only ashes left.’

Detective Kang recited quietly, talking about the dry past and the value of his existence. What is the value of a person's existence? Can I just live to live like this? Detective Kang was shaking at the root of his soul across the line.

I got up from my seat, half giving up his dimming-eyed recruitment.

'Get some rest, Detective. Then I'll come back again.’

Push the chair and walk towards the door. He who is in fear can be attracted and saved. He who has no courage can push for courage. But he could not help being exhausted beyond all that. I respected him, so I tried to get away from him slowly.

But behind me came the sound of Detective Kang calling me.

I heard you're making a team.’

Looking back, Detective Kang came down from his bed and stood in the right position. Though his shabby hospital uniform was full of gauze and bandages, his face and eyes were as bright and warm as the warm sun that sank to the ground. He walked slowly to the hanger placed on one side of the hospital.

There was a leather jacket and a belt that Detective Kang was wearing. And there was a revolver that I carried around like a alter ego. Detective Kang began to pack them up with reverent gestures as if he were an advancing soldier. The act was like a silent flap of wings to prove the value of one's existence.

And he took everything out of his bosom and began to throw it on the bed. A wallet containing money and an ID card that once proved his identity. He brushed off his lingering feelings as if he had thrown the shackles. He spoke to me.

"Now that the world is here, no one calls me a detective anymore. Everyone only asked me my name, and no one called me Detective Kang anymore.’

Detective Kang of the violent crime squad who catches criminals. He was walking towards me with his shoes on. And slowly opened the door of the room, shoulder-to-shoulder with me, as if to follow me. When I opened the door of the hospital room, a warm light brushed past my face with the cold wind.

But Dong-yoon still calls me detective.’

At the end of the remark, we walked in the hallway of the hospital room without a word. Occasionally, nurses and doctors were startled and dissuaded Detective Kang, but he refused all with a gentle smile. Having left the hospital completely, I moved to the office and Detective Kang followed me as if it were natural.

The number of people has increased by one. I asked him, eager to walk.

So what's your name?’

He answered without hesitation.

Call me Detective Kang.’

* * *

When I arrived at the office, I smelled a savory potato. They opened the door wondering about us, and there, except for Kim Hye-jung, gathered in one place and forgot the potatoes. I checked the time and it was lunch time. Perhaps he had been rationed in Eden.

When Detective Kang and I opened the door and came in, the old man and the Yongpal brothers jumped up and welcomed us. The old man, in particular, asked for a handshake with Detective Kang, and greeted him affectionately. He is both an expert and an experienced veteran to catch the tramps. The old man knew it, so he handed him three tablets of potatoes and treated him to the utmost.

I crouched down on one side and peeled the potatoes with my party hard. Then she turned her eyes and looked at the floor where Kim Hye-jung was lying upside down. Where was the spirit and spirit that I showed you earlier, she was on the floor sweating profusely.

What's wrong with him?’

I put potatoes in my mouth and asked the old man. Then the old man, with a faint smile, bit the potatoes little by little. His expression was so mean.

I rolled a little, and he's like that. I'm weak.'

Kim Hye-jung, who was lying on the floor, breathes out harsh breaths and steals sweat. The flinching seemed to be eavesdropping on our conversation. Angry? Her face turned red, and twisted as if to shed tears. He was probably worried that he would be notified of his failure.

And the old man whispered quietly.

'But I like it because it's tough.’

I burst out laughing. He is a friendly old man, even though he is ticklish. She had not intended to fail since she came here. I picked up the remaining potato and walked to her, and soon laid it down slowly beside her disassembled face.

She looked at me in surprise. But I came back to the party as if nothing had happened. Suddenly she sprang to her feet, wiping away her tears and sweat, and clasping the potatoes next to her with both hands. And he crawled hard on our side and took a spot.